He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

Thank goodness you didn’t say anything. You’d have looked like a complete knob. Looks like you’d be good friends with @echt who is also extremely over sensitive.

I live in sw Ireland.
Everyone, (whatever sex and age) is referred to as ‘the lads’ here. So ‘the girls’ would make a nice change.

So if he said "Come on women sit down etc" there would be complaints there. The poor boy can't win! I love being one of the girls. My father in law says it all the time talking about me and his wife. He means it in a nice way, like we are mischievous when we are together which is true 😁

Just say you don't like it. I'm a 24 year old woman but I still call those my age "boys and girls". Calling myself a woman feels wrong.

Girls is infantilising women and I would have corrected him. I often do correct men who come out with this crap or refer to them as boys and they they get the message.

Boys and girls are CHILDREN!

In the 1980-90s my dad was head of a department in the company where he worked and he had 7 or 8 youngish female secretaries working for him. They were always known as The Girls. At the time that seemed perfectly acceptable but now it would be completely inappropriate.

My mum, on the other hand, is 73 and regularly refers to catching up with The Girls, who are around the same age as she is.

At work I'd say it's inappropriate. However, when talking about friends, what's wrong with it? BTW I am 42 and I'd rather be a girl than a woman. I don't feel old enough to be referred to as a woman!

Only a problem if used as a put down
This

Its normal everday language where in from. My dad goes out ' with the boy's and he is 76.

I do get that difference Catkin and it is much more offensive when used as in your first example.

I would never refer to myself as a girl though. I am a teacher in my 40s and to refer to myself as a child just seems very weird to me.

It is unpleasant and misogynistic

In what way? If there was a group of people how would you differentiate between the sexes if you wanted to separate them by sex for some reason? What would you call them? Males and females? Men and women?
So, I would say to DH “I’m going out with the females tonight”? Or “I’m going out with the women tonight”? Or “I’m going out with the ladies tonight”?

Actually, I wouldn’t say the above because DH knows who I spend time with if I am going out.

Being called a girl might be demeaning in terms of the word usually reserved for children, but I completely fail to see how it is in any way misogynistic or sexist.

Whilst I can kind of understand how you might see the term "girls" as infantilising grown women, the notion doesn’t sit well next to your use of "BF", presumably meaning "boyfriend", which indicates you are comfortable with infantilising grown men as "boys."

I go put with the ‘girls’ from work-we are all very old!

It doesn’t bother me at all!

I'm in my 50's I always say I'm out with the girls. I'm out with the women sounds strange.

Exactly. "I'm going out with the boys/lads" sounds OK. "I'm going out with the men" doesn't. Same with "going out with the girls" vs "women". You can use "ladies" but that's a bit posh.

In what way? If there was a group of people how would you differentiate between the sexes if you wanted to separate them by sex for some reason? What would you call them? Males and females? Men and women

Men and women. Because at school, you have the boys and girls team. In adult sports, you have men's teams and women's teams.

Girls can be a sexist term as Catkin demonstrated. I hate it when I hear men talking about the 'girls' in the office and ask them if they employ children or grown women? They would NEVER say the 'boys' in the office and that is the difference and where sexism comes in.

Meh. There are hundreds of threads on Mumsnet with grown women calling other grown women 'girls'

Not something to get worked up about imo. Enjoy your life.

Boys and girls are CHILDREN!

Well, I have a boyfriend. Is he a child? No. Should I call him my manfriend?

Well, I have a boyfriend

He's probably more than a friend as well......

You are being silly.
Boyfriend has a different meaning though doesn't it? It does not mean that you are dating a child does it? Whereas boy means male child.

YABU

Especially as you don't actually hear adult males called "boys" all that often

But you do, in this context. "He's out with the boys" - "What are the girls drinking?" In a social setting with groups of friends. I would never, however, refer to a boy at work or a girl at work, or in any other situation.

'Girls' is used all the time ie girls night out. I'd not over think it

Yes I think that this is to do with the situation and the power dynamic. A man referring to a woman as a girl at work is way out of line. A group of old ladies out together and calling themselves the girls is a different thing altogether.

Personally I would never refer to any adult as a girl or a boy whether at work or not but clearly some people do and that is their choice.

The term 'ladette' was used by certain papers to denote women who

"a young woman who behaves in a boisterously assertive or crude manner and engages in heavy drinking sessions."

So women can't even have a word like 'lads' as it gets hijacked.

Can't have a ladette's night out.

But what does a 'girly' day out mean? All prosecco and spas? Coming over all 'girly'?

Oh and DP 56 will tell me he's 'meeting the boys tonight' so I don't see it in any way as unequal or sexist