He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

The vast majority of women know when 'girls' is used in a patronising way, because we're quite clever in that respect. I judge the man, not the word.

Good god what a non issue.

Some people are just desperate to be offended these days

Riiiight. So I am the sexist one for understanding that 'girly' is a word with sexist, negative connotations for women? 'Girls' day out' is one thing - 'girly day out' is quite another. Surely you can see that

Of course. And if someone meant "sparkly pretty bows and paint my nails while we simper, giggle, and fawn" then I'd find it sexist and odd. But that's not what "girly day out/girls day out" actually means. Girly in this context just means there's lots of girls, not "pink and feminine".

Personally I never use the word 'girly' as I am a teacher and words matter to impressionable young people. But if you want to use it with all of its sexist connotations then you crack on and enjoy!

There are many, many more things to get bothered by.

How about "lasses" a nice North of the border term...... I'm away out with the lasses!

Agree with PP - if it’s in a work context or used in a derogatory way then I pull people up on it. Otherwise, I have no problem at all. My neighbour, who is about my age, regularly greets my daughter (aged 8) and myself with a cheerful, ‘Good morning, girls!’ and I like it. It makes me feel younger!

If someone says they're going for a girly day out, people don't think skydiving they think shopping and prosecco, come on.

The idea that someone might say 'that's a bit girly' seeing someone lifting heavy weights is nonsense.

Lot of disingenuousness on this thread.

Agree women can tell if a man is using it in a patronising way.

So if someone says X is a girly sort of a girl, it could well mean, and lots of people would take it to mean, that they enjoy traditionally masculine pursuits and attire.

Sure it does

YABVU. I would never have even noticed this, let alone be bothered by it days later.
This is your sister's boyfriend, you should want to like and get on with him. He was nice and respectful to you - don't look to be offended by something you know is harmless.

He was nice and respectful to you - don't look to be offended by something you know is harmless.

I blame the Golden Girls, but don't worry I'll get over it soon because sluts just heal quicker :p

Are you in a bad mood today OP? Seriously .... what nonsense. Get over it.

It's fairly common and in every day use by both women and men in my experience.

It's not something I particularly like or use myself and I hate it if ever used in a professional or work situation.

But the reality is for many many people 'girls' 'boys' 'lads' etc are all used by both sexes to describe adult women and men.

If someone says they're going for a girly day out, people don't think skydiving they think shopping and prosecco, come on.

That's your assumption and you are the one engaging in stereotypes. Among my friendship group a girly day absolutely does involve action rather than Prosecco and shopping (hate both) as I said last one was go karting, historically we've done go ape, sight seeing (unisex I assume as dp enjoys this too) to be honest his 'boys' days put are more 'girly'

Are you in a bad mood today OP? Seriously .... what nonsense. Get over it

This is like bingo! It will be hormonal next...right?

happycamper you are being very disingenous and you know you are. Tell me - you are happy to be referred as a girl, would you be happy to be referred to as a girly girl? Or does that mean something different?

Because you wouldn't refer to a group of males as children. Unless they were.

As said before, I'd disagree.

In my experience 'boys' and 'lads' is used just as much as 'girls' when referring to adults.

Let's face it we also use the words 'BOYfriend' and 'GIRLfriend' to refer to adults too, including in the OP.

I'm most definitely not a girly girl but I wouldn't be offended I'd think the person was joking. I'm not being disingenuous to point out that a girls day out can, and does mean absolutely anything. Being girly obviously has more specific meaning but that's deviating from the post as they weren't called girly they were referred to as 'the girls' which countless woman on the thread have said is a phrase they use and that equally their dp describes friends/male family as the boys

Mil talks about her ‘girlfriends’ they are all over 70. My mum used to talk about the ‘girls’ she worked with and they were all over 50....I did say ‘mum, it’s a long tome since any of you were girls!’

Its just old fashioned. There are far worse things

Are you sure OP that you don't have other concerns about your sisters boyfriend that you're not saying?

happycamper you are dissembling. The phrase I was querying was 'girly day out' and you yourself have just agreed that 'girly' means something very specific!
If you saying that you are definitely not a 'girly girl' then you understood my point exactly and were just being obtuse.

I don't like being called a girl either OP. It does make me cringe a bit.

I'd never say I was going out with the girls, I'd say I was going out with my friends.

I don't take offence when people say it, but I'd never refer to a group of adult women as girls.

Meh. We had movers all over the age of 35 I'd guess. One of them referred to the others as "boys". DH goes out with "the boys". He's nearly 50. Coming from a nice person I think it's meant affectionately. Coming for a demeaning arsehole it could be dismissive. It's about tone and person to me.