He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

But yes my point was as @BlueRussianCat said the activity is irrelevant- a girls day is a day out with the girls there is no activity rules whatsoever

I'm not causing drama. I'm posting on here but I wouldn't say anything to him or my sister. At the time I didn't say anything. As I said I internally cringed, he didn't notice. I accept that AIBU.

'Girls' are used to describe a group of women far more than 'boys' are used to describe groups of men. I deliberately use 'boys' to describe men at work at times and it is quite clear from the reaction that men find it, hmmm... unusual to be described that way and aren't completely comfortable with it. You can see the internal struggle.

I think in a formal work situation it is worth raising as an issue but socially it's in such common usage and if you do comment it it has to be done lightly and with humour. If there are other sexist things he does and says that's different and it's worth challenging him more assertively.

Well my 'ingrained issue' might be that I don't think that women should be infantilised by men.
And that if women stand up and say that they don't like something a whole host other women (sadly) come crashing in to remind them to stay in lane. It's really sad.

I refer to my U6 as all sorts of things CecilyP!

Agree CountFosco

@koshkat how can you speak for all women? My last 'girly day' was go karting then an Indian. I've never been to a spa and I don't like Prosecco

I just do not think that the average person thinks that a 'girly day' is white water rafting or go karting. 'Girly' has all sorts of dreadful stereotypical connotations which you well know.

I am heading 'op norf' in a few days to see some family and friends. I shall report back with suitable indignation when invariably I get called love, pet or chuck.

I would probably have cringed too, OP, but probbaly would not have said anything.

Agree with CountFosco - it's not acceptable at work. As I told my male boss (who was younger than me) when he referred to me and my team as 'girls'. I pointed out that as far as I was aware, all our staff were over 16. no wonder he never promoted me

Do give over.

Eh, why would someone call your ds a girl?
I can understand why you would be called girl if you are female.
I call women girls all the time, is there something wrong with it? Who says they are going out with the women, it doesn't have the same ring.
You need something real to complain about.

Well my 'ingrained issue' might be that I don't think that women should be infantilised by men.
And that if women stand up and say that they don't like something a whole host other women (sadly) come crashing in to remind them to stay in lane. It's really sad.

Or are you upset that no matter what feminists do they can't control the wants and actions of all the other women in the world?

@Drabarni DS = dear sister

Sorry maybe it's me I am a bit confused, you said DS which I assume is son? BF which I assume is your sons best friend, called you and DS girls? What?!

What a lot of nonsense!

It wouldn't even occur to me to mind.

I've often heard expression "girls night out" or "girly weekend" used by woman.

It would only bother me if it was used as an insult.

I've often heard men say "out with the boys" too so I don't see this as a sexist issue.

Tbf I think if you automatically think "Spa day and prosecco" when you hear a woman say "spending a day with the girls" then it's you who has the sexist ideas! I've been on a "girly day" that has been go-karting and the pub.

Or are you upset that no matter what feminists do they can't control the wants and actions of all the other women in the world?

Nope.

The boys (inc my DH) have a boys night out at the pub...

No biggie, tbh.

Of course not

Riiiight. So I am the sexist one for understanding that 'girly' is a word with sexist, negative connotations for women? 'Girls' day out' is one thing - 'girly day out' is quite another. Surely you can see that?

It was a group of two women, me and my sister. As there were just 2 of you, he could have just referred to you as Cherry and Sue. If you were 4 sisters, it might have been a bit more unwieldy. Or would you like him to refer to you as the women? Or come over all Archers and called you the womenfolk?

I associate ‘girly’ with pigtails, pink, frills. Bit like a child.

Some women identify with this, they seem to like the idea. Maybe they were ‘girly’ children.
I

I personally preferred doc martens and cricket. Nobody has ever called me girly. But I do love a night out with the girls.

'Girls' are used to describe a group of women far more than 'boys' are used to describe groups of men.

Certainly not the case where I am from(London), as long as I can remember a girls or boys night out etc has been used universally to describe an all female or male social activity.

I deliberately use 'boys' to describe men at work at times and it is quite clear from the reaction that men find it, hmmm...

Probably because you are in a formal work setting perhaps and it's not appropriate language in the same way that I don't call my male work colleagues 'mate'.

My mother is 72 and goes out for lunch every week with 'the girls' every week.
I don't understand what your issue is.