He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

It's a major issue. Nice guy if you mean Australian culturally conditioned, i.e. also shitloads of women routinely call themselves girls. You don't like it, it's not OK. Correct him.

Just tell him you don’t like it.

I think you're looking for something to criticise....

I know retired women who refer to their group of female friends as "The Girls"

Perfectly acceptable. How on earth can it be seen as offensive?!

Its normal language here but saying boys is also used so it's not demeaning one sex.

Ie to a male adult - are you seeing the boys tonight.

It is used to mean a group of male or female friends not just a random group of males or females.

So you never go ‘out with the girls’ or have ‘girly weekends’
Such a non issue.
I also don’t understand who ‘DS’ BF is if you are aged 31 & 30?

You could wreak revenge by referring to him and his mates as 'the boys' but he'd probably just take it as a generic term of friendly endearment and not realise how powerfully you have diminished him in your eyes.

Perfectly normal language.
When I ask my adult son if he is going out with the boys. I know he is not going to the park to kick a ball around with a bunch of preteens.
In the same way as when I say I am meeting the girls for lunch. They know I am talking about a bunch of 50 something women.

Only a problem if used as a put down

I go out with the girls, we are all in our 50s. We also call each other birds, although would be insulted if anyone else did....lol.
My son loves his nights out with the boys, all in their 30s.
What's the problem? If you dont like it, tell him.

What is your gripe with it exactly?

You choosing to be offended is what is giving a whole generation a bad name ❄️❄️❄️

@malmi😏

Took me a little while to realise you were talking about your sisters boyfriend.

I wouldn’t have a problem with it - it’s possible he wouldn’t have realised you did, without you saying something about it.

I meet 'the girls' for lunch, referring to my close friends and we are all in our 50's! DH goes out with the boys. I can't see what is wrong with it. I see it as a term of affection.

Can’t see the problem you wouldn’t say going on a women’s night out surely.

Wow seriously? I wouldn’t even think twice about it.

Seriously, OP

Normal socially and works both ways Inappropriate in a formal situation such as work ‘ ie ‘this girl who works for me’ where it’s rarely used both ways- boy becomes ‘guy’.

Both my DDs are ardent, and very vocal, feminists. They refer to their friends as 'the girls' as in 'we're out with the girls on friday'
In some circumstances I would call someone out for using it. E.g. At a team meeting, our boss used the girls to refer to us all, and it did come across as slightly demeaning and sexist, but that's because he is! Once, he said 'come on girls, you all need to grow a pair'. We soon shot him down in flames and educated him 🤣🤣
But amongst friends and family I wouldn't take offence at all.

My dad and my boss do this. My boss in a professional setting t describe other female work colleagues his own level or higher.. (I.e. yes she’s a very smart and competent girl) It drives me mad when I think that that “girl” would eat him for breakfast!
My dad uses it in a similar way. Turns me. So fucking patronising.

The scenario you’ve described sounds a bit more social / less patronising to me maybe? But if you don’t like it I would politely nip it in the bud.

I don't see what the problem is.

There are so many more important things to get annoyed about...choose your battles.

“ echt

It's a major issue”

How on Earth do you get through the day?

Can't see the issue myself.

I don't particularly like 'girls' but I have noticed that men who use it seem to also refer to 'boys' night out' and so on. It's pretty silly, but I don't think it's strictly sexist.

@malmi