He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

I have a group of friends where we refer to girls but we have been friends since childhood and we refer to the men in our group as boys so it is equal. If it happened at work I would be not be impressed. Context is everything.

If it happens agains and your not happy about it then say something.

@echt @TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

"a perfect example of how women willingly collude in and even welcome their own disempowerment"

no, that is reserved for life-damaging stuff like mate poaching.

Lets not be extreme, here. Milly Tant is losing the war.

I wasn’t there, but imagine that in this case it was used because it’s (slightly) quicker than saying two names. I’ll often say “I’m going out with the girls”, because it’s less unwieldy than saying “I’m going out with Anne, Betty, Caroline and Deidre”. I’m not sure that saying “the women” would have been any better, in fact I think it sounds worse. Not entirely sure why ..... womenfolk, Little Women, some other connotation?

Wouldn’t generally use it in a work situation.

The same terminology is sometimes used in the office. Not that it's happened at all, but if there was even a hint of its use being derogatory, I would address it .... but it would not be the word that was the problem but the associated behaviour.

@echt @TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

I have no idea what you're on about, Screaming. Please don't conflate my comments with those of another poster.

Oh and DH goes out with The Boys too.

I refer to my friends as 'the girls'. I shall continue to refer to me and my friends as I choose and, if at any point, I should feel any of the fucking ludicrous adjectives thrown at the phrase, I shall be sure to stop.

I don't like it and I have asked people not to call me a 'girl'. Attaining womanhood wasn't easy.

The same terminology is sometimes used in the office. Not that it's happened at all, but if there was even a hint of its use being derogatory, I would address it .... but it would not be the word that was the problem but the associated behaviour

The word is behaviour. That is why in my workplace, naming is taken up and acted on.

Genuinely can’t see an issue with this and people need to get a grip

No the word is not behaviour. It's an absolutely fine word to use as shorthand for a group of women.
But if someone said the girls will be making the sandwiches and the boys are doing the furniture removal ... that's what I would call out.

I call my daughters (in their 30s) the girls, and their partners the boys.

Social groups of women are ' the girls' social groups of men are ' the lads'

'The women', or 'the men' would just sound weird.

It's not that big of a deal.

I'm 33, my mother is 59 and my Grandmother always refers to us both as 'the girls'. She always does it, 'the girls have gone shopping'.

I don't see it as a big deal if he is fine about women in every other way.

Genuinely can’t see an issue with this and people need to get a grip

So why don't you respond to the OP, the one who was offeneded?

What’s the issue? I would say ‘you boys’ or ‘guys’ or ‘lads’-it’s just a turn of phrase meaning males. What’s offensive?

So why don't you respond to the OP, the one who was offeneded? @echt

I really don’t understand this reply to my comment. I read the full thread and simply added my opinion as did lots of other posters. Why choose mine to comment on?!

I thought that too @CanICelebrate

Don't forget, not that long ago, women were essentially children, legally.

Calling us girls is just a tiny reminder that we're not actually that capable and do kinda need someone to look after us, bless our pretty fluffy heads.

So let's not use it. Zero cost change.

BF stands for BOYfriend.

Yeah, this.
My husband plays Xbox with "the boys" (his words). I don't have a group of "girls" because I'm an antisocial cow, not because I find the term insulting. I kind of think the phrase is used to suggest that the activities being partaken in are going to be somewhat non-serious.

Unclench.

It's a pretty everyday phrase and it's unlikely he intended any offence by it. It's much the same as those people who get twitchy about people using 'kids' instead of children. You are offended and that's your prerogative, OP, but it would be making a mountain out of a molehill to pull him up on it.

I hate it when people refer to my sister and me as the girls. I don't know why, but it makes me cringe.

My cousin refers to his sons as the boys even though they are all grown men. What else would he call them - the men? Tom, Dick, Harry and George?

Most blokes to whom I've pointed out, "but I'm not a girl, am I?" have stopped using it. The main exception being one who i strongly suspect of being a sociopath (for other reasons!)

Best not to ask what happened to the guy in my martial arts class who described himself as 'punching like a girl'

@theheather that is completely different as the comment was made to demean.