He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

Getting offended about the term "girl" is a very MN thing.

💛

'Boys' would be comparable to 'girls', not children.

Meh. My 80 year old mum hates being referred to as one of the girls. Finds it condescending, demeaning etc. I’m nearly 60 and it doesn’t bother me at all. I use it myself when inviting friends over for a girls night or planning a girly weekend away.

Completely off topic but I’m gazing at the words ‘nearly 60’ in shock. How can I possibly be so ancient? When did that happen?

echt It's a major issue

How on Earth do you get through the day

By challenging these who give me shit.

I have my husband here , my son and his partner as well as me and my daughter....I am off out to the shopping centre with the boys and junior sallycinnamon today was my reply when my mum asked what we were up to today!....the youngest boy is 29 the oldest 56...my boys!!!! Sorry OP but I cannot see anything offensive at all ....

Completely normal usage. In fact, it's meant as complimentary.

I'm not sure why you're reacting like this.

In my mum's family (Irish) the older people use girl for people of my age. My mum will tell me she was talking to a girl on the bus for example but it will have been someone in their thirties or forties. Totally normal where she's from and she'd be mortified to be pulled up on it!

On saying that in her part of Ireland they also think nothing of referring to a girl as being handsome and the first time someone called me THAT i was outraged

Because:

1. The OP is, like, not a girl.

2.. She doesn't like it.

HTH

Non issue. It’s an informal, family setting.

Now if it were at work and you were being referred to as one of “the girls” by a subordinate then you would have a point.

Now if it were at work and you were being referred to as one of “the girls” by a subordinate then you would have a point

If the OP doesn't like it then that's good enough.

I think it depends on tone and context. As a pp said a boss saying it is not ok. But if its also used equally like boys/girls night out not a big issue.

Absolute non-issue, and it's getting worked up over silly things like this that means real feminist problems get overlooked and dismissed. If that is all you have to worry about then count yourself lucky!

Completely normal usage. In fact, it's meant as complimentary.

I know it’s normal but I’d feel patronised, not complimented.

Oh dear....

What would you have preferred? Ladies? Or to be formally addressed by your full name at all times?

I meet up with 'the girls' and I'm 37. I say my partner is going out with 'the boys' and he is 36. Are you going out of your way to be offended by something? If so, I have a long list of actual atrocities happening in the world that I could give you to focus on....

@Radardodgingninga
Completely off topic but I’m gazing at the words ‘nearly 60’ in shock. How can I possibly be so ancient? When did that happen?

Ha! I feel your pain!

Referring to someone as boyfriend / girlfriend = fine
Referring to those same people as boys / girls = not fine

Hmmmm

I think people are overreacting way too much! Patronising? Really? It’s a term of endearment, not an insult.
OP, I recommend that you finish with your bf now, because if you’ve been brewing over something so petty and trivial , then your relationship is doomed.
At least he didn’t refer to you as the ‘ old trouts’ or something similar!

Do you OP call your DSis's partner her BOYfriend? Someone already asked this upthread and I think it bears repeating.

Absolute non-issue, and it's getting worked up over silly things like this that means real feminist problems get overlooked and dismissed. If that is all you have to worry about then count yourself lucky

And at what point should a feminist kick in?

FMG >> oh my cunt's intact so I can't possibly object to a man naming me.

You have to start somewhere.

Wow. I refer to myself and my daughters collectively as the girls (they’re all 20s now), my group of friends as the girls (we’re late 40s upwards to one who is 60). My daughters don’t take issue and none of my group of friends (where we all call ourselves the girls) have any issue. My daughters refer to their group of friends as the girls and frequently have girls’ nights/trips/outings that they themselves use the term.

So this is a cross generational term in every day use. Touchy are you or purposely looking for an issue?

Touchy are you or purposely looking for an issue

The naming of women by men has been an issue for a long time.

Boys is definitely used in my workplace. Not guys.