Gave nanny/housekeeper a generous Christmas bonus. Now she’s ditched me!

[DuchessofWoke]

So, I gave my nanny/housekeeper a very nice Christmas bonus. She was supposed to come the day before Christmas Eve but rang in sick so I had to send the bonus by online banking. Happy to do so. She replied by text thanking me. Today, three days later, she has texted me to say she had decided to return to her home country and won’t be able to come to me again.

We have had a good relationship. She’s been coming to me for 6 months.

We do not have a contract. She is freelance and sorts her own tax. She works 10 hours for me and has four other jobs.

By nanny/housekeeper I mean she does all the housework and watches the DCs a bit but rarely sole care.

My Aibu is that I think she is a bit cheeky to accept the bonus which was paid to her on the 24th then announce this two days later.

Weekly I pay her above the London living wage for ten hours.

The bonus was £200.

Well lots of posts saying she wasn’t paid well
Maybe she’s managed to find something better and is just saying she is travelling home to not upset you

Well lots of posts saying she wasn’t paid well

She really wasn't. A cleaner in London would typically get £13-14ph. A nanny would start at £12ph after tax, and would be employed with a contract, holiday pay etc. A nanny-housekeeper typically commands a higher rate than either a cleaner/housekeeper or nanny, as they bring skills in both jobs. £12ph on a self-employed basis for this work is rock-bottom and would likely be attractive only to people who lack experience/skills or are vulnerable in some way.

She is not a slave! She had every right to go home. The amount of work you describe sounds soul crushing

😂 Are you joking? It was a very nice number actually. She was primarily a cleaner. She cleaned. She ironed shirts. She played Sylvanians with my children. We chatted.

Soul-crushing? 🙄

A cleaner in London would typically get £13-14ph

Not in any part of London I’m familiar with. £10-12 is absolutely the going rate (and way less if they’re working for an agency) and I’ve known, heard of and even employed a fair few. Cleaners are paid more outside of London because of supply and demand.

She was a cleaner who watched the kids a bit. You’re massively inflating her position.

Anyway, I’m over it. I have wished her well and drawn a line under it. Obviously she can leave when she likes. I just would have appreciated knowing sooner so I could sort out her replacement.

I’ll live.

Not giving you notice is very cheeky and if I was her I would send u back 100£ but again you are thanking her for a job well done not to be done so she earned your gratitude,you were just a bet too Generous,u know for next time and 6 months isn’t that long ☺️.

YABU. The bonus was for her work over the six months she worked for you. She has every right to vacate the job whenever she feels as a freelance worker, that’s the risk you take.

Not giving you notice is very cheeky

Not at all. She's self-employed. Part and parcel of being self-employed is to be able to tell any client at any time that you decline to take further work from them. If someone doesn't want that possibility, they need to employ someone formally and take on employer responsibilities or agree a written contract.

Notice is only required if it’s agreed upon. If people want to leave straight after a bonus that’s fine (in old work lots used to wait until that date then leave if they were considering it).

Really as l pay £10ph in a rural se England area so it seems low for London to me

She could have got to Spain and back for £100 - she just wanted to go home. And fair enough.

Yes YABU, a bonus is a thank you for work done. Yes the short notice is a bit unfair, but there could be other circumstances. She may not have been able to affors to go home for some time and your bonus has helped you her, or something may have happened in her own country with family. Either way yes its rubbish to lose yoir hires help at short notice, but she is far from cheeky, you chose to pay her the bonus and as said earlier a bonus is usually for work already done she has probably earned the bonus in the time she has been with you,

maddiemookins16mum - how do YOU know she wasn't paying tax, sounds rather prejudiced to me.

I think most people would assume that she wasn't paying tax if she was receiving cash in hand without a contract. Its hardly a massive leap.

Op you yourself have called her a nanny/housekeeper in the title of your thread.
You didn't say she was a cleaner only.

(Not that I think it matters) just op was getting arsey