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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say that bras affect my mental health?

232 replies

Worried3456789 · 26/12/2019 21:13

I wish I was joking! I truly hate them. When I wear one, it's all I can think about and it honestly puts me in a massive strop!!!!

I hate how they give me back fat, I hate the feel of the straps, the clips, everything about them.

I have done everything I can - been accurately measured (NOT M&S) , tried every bra you can imagine and I can't handle it.

I also hate socks and tights and don't wear them either, so feel like it's a sensory processing issue.

I live in crop tops, those seamless ones. But they severely limit what tops I wear as they don't give enough support.

I am wondering if there is any other bras that people can reccomend? Ones without back clips, that are pull on if possible, but offer support.

My boobs are a 36 C

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
JustaScratch · 27/12/2019 08:55

I bought a Cosabella bralette designed for larger boobs (I'm a 36FF). Although you couldn't wear it to go for a run, it's actually comfortable and quite supportive for casual day to day use. It's racer backed with a wide back panel so no back fat lines. There are more and more alternatives to bras out there.

WelcomeToShootingStars · 27/12/2019 08:58

I'm a 38HH and wouldn't give anybody a dime for Asda bras (or the like). You don't get proper support for £9, you get something aesthetically nice.

Going to take a look at those Molke things myself.

Squigean · 27/12/2019 09:09

Don't understand that size chart up thread. If I wore the band size suggested for my dress size the bra would cut into my and leave an indent. That's if I managed to get it done up around my ribs. (I know because I've tried it.)

Just to note, I've not been near M&S for decades.

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 09:10

I can't wrap my head around bra sizing. I haven't been fitted since buying my first bra (BHS!) but I go by what fits and gives support.
I'm size 10 and wear mainly 36Cs or DDs. According to mumsnet this would be impossible but here I am wearing one and they feel tight. Any smaller band and I would feel strapped in and severely restricted.

isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 09:13

Don't understand that size chart up thread. If I wore the band size suggested for my dress size the bra would cut into my and leave an indent.

But neither the band size or the cup size mean anything in isolation, they only indicate the size when you take them together.

I wear a 32GG . A 32 DD wouldn't even meet around the back if I tried to put it on. A 32J would be falling off me because it would be too loose.

isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 09:16

I'm size 10 and wear mainly 36Cs or DDs. According to mumsnet this would be impossible

That's because in a 36DD indicates an overall measurement , at the widest part of your bust, of around 41 inches. But a clothes size chart states that in the UK a size 10 generally equals a measurement of 34 inches overall at the widest measurement.

Squigean · 27/12/2019 09:17

Sagradafamiliar, yes that's me too. Other thing find is that on MN, on threads where bras or boobs are mentioned there seems to be exclusivly women with small band size and large cup size (28GG, 30HH, 20W and the such like). Which doesn't relate to sizes elsewhere.

Rumnraisin · 27/12/2019 09:18

Feel your pain OP. I bought 3 H&M bras (too many) years ago and they are the only ones I can wear. They are so soft and stretchy but of course they got discontinued along time ago Hmm Have bought other non-wired, non-padded ones but they are so uncomfortable even in a size up. You would think by now, comfortable bras would be the norm but obviously not. Sorry no advice but hopefully these Molke ones are the way to go!

Squigean · 27/12/2019 09:22

I wear a 32GG . A 32 DD wouldn't even meet around the back if I tried to put it on. A 32J would be falling off me because it would be too loose

I'm sorry, I still don't understand. So, the 32 inches on a 32DD bra is not the same as 32 inches on a 32J bra?

MIdgebabe · 27/12/2019 09:22

Repeat molke. Plenty of support but more like crop top than bra

EstebanTheMagnificent · 27/12/2019 09:22

May I just point out to those baulking at the price of Molke that £32 is not only fairly typical for a good quality bra but also reflects the fact that they are made in Scotland by workers who are paid a decent living wage. I appreciate that ethics are expensive but prices on the high street have destroyed our understanding of what it costs to make clothes.

BlaueLagune · 27/12/2019 09:22

The "new" sizing protocol doesn't work for me - I'm a 34B - no way am I I a 28HHH or whatever it would try and make me. I think the creators of that system think all women want to be an enormous cup size and small back size - well I'm the opposite.

I suppose if you are eg a 36DD on the old system you must be a 30YY on the new system.

OP if you like crop tops you could buy sports bras that are crop tops. They are very light but support you very well, not so good for running but fine for everyday use, cycling, walking etc. (I was going to add a link for the Underarmour website but their cookie warning is ridiculous but you can get them from other websites).

SerenDippitty · 27/12/2019 09:27

I’m an E/F cup but not massively sticky out in front. Since retiring I’ve only worn soft pull on bras bras and bralettes. They are so comfy and totally eliminate bulges at the back.

isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 09:28

I'm sorry, I still don't understand. So, the 32 inches on a 32DD bra is not the same as 32 inches on a 32J bra?

The 32 inches is still the same, but the DD bra has far fewer inches in the cup than the J bra would have. It is only when you put the band size and the cup size measurement together that you get the overall size. The best way I could desribe it would be if you imagine taking your meauring tape and not just measuring the straight line along the bottom of the bra, but actually poking it inside the cups to get to the widest part as well? It's not quite as simple as that, but that's the best way I can explain it.

isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 09:33

The "new" sizing protocol doesn't work for me - I'm a 34B - no way am I I a 28HHH or whatever it would try and make me. I think the creators of that system think all women want to be an enormous cup size and small back size - well I'm the opposite.

I don't understand what you mean? The measurement doesn't change the actual size of your breasts, it's just a mathematical measurement?

It's not new either, I have never been measured any other way, in over 30 years of wearing bras.

Sagradafamiliar · 27/12/2019 09:38

Yeah, I still don't get it. I just go buy what fits. If I try on a size which 'should' fit (they're usually too obscure to find in shops), then I'm left with 4 boobs: two where boobs should be then one at each size in the underarm area, that's if I can even do the bra up and still breathe in it.

Dipsydoodle · 27/12/2019 09:41

I exist in H&M nursing vests. I'm only breastfeeding a couple of times a day now as DD is 10mo but they're so comfy as they have inbuilt support. I wore a bra on my wedding day a couple of weeks ago for the first time in ages and was glad to get back to my vests! I can see me continuing to wear them even after she's stopped feeding from me. M&S soft bralets are nice too.

Dipsydoodle · 27/12/2019 09:45

Those Molke ones look nice though. I might get a couple when I've stopped breastfeeding!

ClientListQueen · 27/12/2019 09:49

For a good example
M&S put me at a 40HH
I'm actually a 34K. And a size 16

TWD89 · 27/12/2019 09:51

I’m a 32D(ish) and I haven’t regularly worn a bra for ten years. I don’t even generally bother for work.

Never found one to fit. They’re all hideously uncomfortable. I have one non underwire bra for when I absolutely have to wear one and that’s it!

lowlandLucky · 27/12/2019 09:51

M&S Flexifit is the best ever

CornishYarg · 27/12/2019 09:51

I'm size 10 and wear mainly 36Cs or DDs. According to mumsnet this would be impossible but here I am wearing one and they feel tight. Any smaller band and I would feel strapped in and severely restricted.

The 36C or DD (not D?) may feel tight because your boobs are "stealing" some of the band due to not having enough room in the cups. The best way to check this is to put your bra on backwards and see how the band feels when the cups are empty. It should be snug; if you can pull it away from your ribcage quite a lot, then it's not really providing any support. Instead, the support is all coming from the straps which is uncomfortable as they dig in.

isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 09:54

Other thing find is that on MN, on threads where bras or boobs are mentioned there seems to be exclusivly women with small band size and large cup size (28GG, 30HH, 20W and the such like). Which doesn't relate to sizes elsewhere.

There is a simple explanation for that though. As recently as about 15 years ago, most shops didn't even sell anything over a DD cup. If a DD cup gave you four boobs, you had to go up in the back until you could get one that didn't. So you found skinny but big boobed women wearing 40DD bras. The shops liked it that way, because they made a small range of sizes and maximised profits. If you only make bras in 32 B to 38DD, you are only making 16 different sizes. Whereas a brand like Freya are routinely making their bras in sizes 28D to 40 J, which is something like 50 different size options. It is not hard to see why M&S and the like want to shoehorn their customers into a smaller range of sizes, because it directly affects the price they can sell them at, and their profit margins etc.

But if you think of all the thousands of women you see around you, and the huge variety of body shapes you see, it makes perfect sense that there needs to be dozens of different bra sizes to choose from.

After all, it is only about 20 years ago that most mainstream shops started offering different leg lengths for women's trousers, or petite ranges, or tall ranges. When I was a teenager (am mid 40s now) my local TopShop stocked three sizes - 10,12 and 14. And that was that. Nothing bigger, nothing smaller. Clothing has been revolutionised in the past 20 years, and now it is happening with underwear too.

CharlotteMD · 27/12/2019 09:58

I take mine off the minute I get through the front door and ping it across the hallway. Trick is to get it onto the banister rail in one go, punch the air in triumph if I do. You can take the girl out of Med School ........

Branleuse · 27/12/2019 10:02

Molkes arent for everyone thats for sure, but sexiness is more about the person than the bra, no? I think the purple lace set in molke is quite sexy. Well, it is on me ;) ;) the dinosaur one, maybe not so much, but yeah, I have quite a few bras so sometimes i want a comfy molke, and other times I want something a bit more strappy or frilly.

I think the reason most people are in discomfort with their bras is because theyre wearing the wrong size or style for their body.
Its the hardest working bit of clothing for a lot of us. If your main support and shaping garment with wires and straps is a generic £4 thing from a supermarket and not even in your accurate size, then while you might get used to it somewhat, then youre probably not going to be at your most supported or comfort levels.
Bras are all trial and error. My size and shape fluctuate so much