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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say that bras affect my mental health?

232 replies

Worried3456789 · 26/12/2019 21:13

I wish I was joking! I truly hate them. When I wear one, it's all I can think about and it honestly puts me in a massive strop!!!!

I hate how they give me back fat, I hate the feel of the straps, the clips, everything about them.

I have done everything I can - been accurately measured (NOT M&S) , tried every bra you can imagine and I can't handle it.

I also hate socks and tights and don't wear them either, so feel like it's a sensory processing issue.

I live in crop tops, those seamless ones. But they severely limit what tops I wear as they don't give enough support.

I am wondering if there is any other bras that people can reccomend? Ones without back clips, that are pull on if possible, but offer support.

My boobs are a 36 C

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
BillHadersNewWife · 27/12/2019 02:00

It actually enrages me that women are wearing them when they don't want to! All for what? I know some people say "My breasts are too big and hurt without a bra" so fair enough....but if they're so wonderful, why do people sigh with relief when they take them off!

Are people so ashamed of the natural shape of their breasts?

SwingingBy · 27/12/2019 05:19

@Heismyopendoor I can get a G in Asda and with a little alteration can cram them in 😳
Which is better than my mum's suggestion of two buckets and a sling 😂

SwingingBy · 27/12/2019 05:24

@BuffaloCauliflower I like to look sexy in my bedroom, it's a number 1 concern for me. 😜
However, each to their own. 🙂

ToffeePennie · 27/12/2019 06:56

I loathe my bra.
I am a 36K. I have been accurately measured via boob or bust and bravissimo and rugby and peller. Funnily enough they all say the same thing, 36k.
I can’t wear a bra without decent underwire as otherwise I’m flopping around like two dead fish in a shopping bag. If I don’t wear a bra, they hang somewhere around my waist. It feels really unfair as a 30 year old woman that my boobs and bra cause this much distress.

NemophilistRebel · 27/12/2019 07:17

Years ago I was measured as a 36b

Turned out I was actually a 32E

Being size 12 I should have realised the 36 wasn’t right but I wore that badly fitting size for years!

I’m pregnant now and can’t mama DH aires and have found wonderful but supportive non wired bras

cherrytree63 · 27/12/2019 07:33

According to BOB measuring I'm a 28E. That's virtually impossible to get round my ribcage!
My Shock Absorber is 34E and gives good support.
I don't wear a bra at home and tend to wear bralets but find that the sizing can be odd, if they fit round my ribcage they're too small for my boobs, if they're comfy for my boobs they're too loose for my ribcage.
Years ago I had a pull on bralet that had clips at the back to adjust the band, does anyone know where to get that type?

lifeisgoodagain · 27/12/2019 07:43

It sounds like it is a sensitivity to the clothing rather than the bra per se. My autistic dd wears Asda's cheap t shirt bras, only £4 each, they are the only ones she can stand, the beautiful lacy one from the lingerie shop, properly fitted she keeps for "best" aka special dates and her new evening dress was chosen specifically because it can be warn with a t shirt bra shape wise. Just try different ones, you may find the slightly padded ones suit you too

lifeisgoodagain · 27/12/2019 07:46

Ps she like me is well endowed in the breast department ... she's 30e, I'm 34e so we definitely need proper bras all the time

dottiedodah · 27/12/2019 07:54

Well I havent worn a Bra for several years! Have a very wide back and so need Bra Extenders /larger size Bras .These dont fit well at all. Quite small /medium at front .Use vests/crop tops depending on season .

Claireshh · 27/12/2019 08:14

I really love Goddard Glossies. They areincredibly comfortable. If I wear any other type of bra they dig in and I feel like I’m being tortured! The glossies are so good.

Original poster
Worried3456789 · 27/12/2019 08:24

Thanks so much everyone, and so many more ideas for me to investigate! I feel much more 'normal' as my sister and Mum apparently adore their bras Envy

I just measured myself with boob or bust and I come out as a 32DD which is very different to the Debenhams measurement of 36C.
However, I really don't think that's the issue still, I just can't stand the feel of Brad Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Worried3456789 · 27/12/2019 08:24

*bras not Brad Grin

OP posts:
isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 08:26

If 36C isn't a standard size, why are there so many of them in the shops?

Because most people have been measured in M&S and don't understand how bras are actually measured.

People can wear what they want obviously, but in reality it is incredibly unlikely that a woman who measures 36 around her ribs is only 3 inches bigger around the widest part. It's pretty common to measure 26 or 28 and only be three inches bigger overall, but if you're a 36 it's much less likely.

isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 08:28

Ps she like me is well endowed in the breast department ... she's 30e

30E is a really petite size. Confused

nocluewhattodoo · 27/12/2019 08:31

Yoga bras are the way forward, similar levels of support as with a sports bra, but cut smaller so more flattering and can be worn with normal clothes. They do have a slight minimising effect, but keep you a more natural shape. I wear nothing else now.

EstebanTheMagnificent · 27/12/2019 08:32

30E and 36C are sister sizes - ie they have the same cup volume. Funny to see one described as ‘well-endowed’ (it isn’t especially) and one as very average. Cup sizes are so loaded with connotations.

LividLaughLove · 27/12/2019 08:32

Another Molke evangelist.

It’s all I’ve worn since 12 weeks pregnant and I was around a 34JJ before.

I avoided them for a long time because I assumed they were just maternity bras, but I can’t see myself ever wearing anything else now.

Pain to get on and off, though, as they have to be tight fitting around the band for support so require a bit of contortion. Once they’re on you can’t feel them at all.

A PP complained about the price but I was paying that easily at Bravissimo etc for big bras.

ihatethecold · 27/12/2019 08:38

I wonder if Molke have a sale on

hazeyjane · 27/12/2019 08:44

The older I have got the more sensitive I have become to things like bras and tights and uncomfortable pants (...and people)

Despite giving up underwires years ago, getting properly measured, buying a super expensive well fitted bra....I have ended up wearing a thin vest under my bra, in order to avoid the sensation if the bra on my skin!!

Dh has just bought me a Molke bra and pants set for Christmas - Oh. My. Goodness.....it is bloody lovely. I really like the look of it, it is so comfortable, very soft on the skin, no clips or instruments of torture attached and holds everything in place beautifully. Bra heaven (2 words I never thought I would put together)

StellaRockafella · 27/12/2019 08:46

Thank you for this thread. I'm a 28F and now I'm in my 40s, have really gone off traditional underwire bras. I mostly wear a sports bra although have recently discovered crop tops, so am really pleased to see a few other alternatives to the ones I wear.

I have looked at Molke and while posts on this thread (and others) do confirm how comfortable they are, I think they're quite possibly the ugliest things I've ever seen, and can't bring myself to wear them. Sorry.

isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 08:48

I think the thing that a lot of people don't understand about bra sizes (not necessarily anyone on this thread, but in general) is that if you go down the back sizes and up the cup sizes, it is is not going to be much tighter overall than the larger back size, because all you are doing is swapping the inches from the 'straight' part of the bra (the back) to the curved part of the bra (the front). But in reality, people (wrongly) think that eg an E cup is large, and they know themselves that they are quite petite. So they do boob or bust or whatever, see that they are a 28E and think, well I'm wearing a 34C now, and it's quite roomy, there isn't a chance I could be an E cup. So they try on a 28C, and find that it doesn't fasten up because it's too tight (which makes sense as it is several inches smaller all over) and they declare the system to be rubbish.

People can of course wear whatever size they want, and if you don't find the smaller band size comfortable and don't want to wear it, then that is fine. But the system itself is very mathematical and generally works in terms of actually fitting. But fitting properly is not the same as being comfortable - I am a 32GG (and I hate it, I would love to be a 32DD or a 30E, it is my dream size) but it doesn't mean that all 32GG bras are comfortable for me. It depends on the shape and the style and the brand and the material. Just the same as I am a size 14 in jeans and one pair I own is so comfortable that I forget I am wearing them, but two other pairs are always digging in around the waistband. But if I measure them with a measuring tape, they are all the same size.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 27/12/2019 08:51

I don't wear a bra unless exercising for the same reason. I also hate tights so I buy them two sizes too big so they don't feel clingy.

isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 08:52

I think this is a great illustration. These bras range from an E cup to an H cup. The cups are all the same size.

to say that bras affect my mental health?
isabellerossignol · 27/12/2019 08:54

Actually, this illustration shows it better.

to say that bras affect my mental health?