Is this the height of ingratitude?

[choc71]

I had everything planned for a perfect Christmas. Little family holiday to the Christmas markets in Germany for a few days before hand, as I know I've worked a lot this year.
I've bought all the gifts and food throughout the year, wrapped everything, got up at 3 a.m. to make sure Santa had been and everything was out ready for the morning.
Bonus lie in till 830 when the kids woke up.
DS2 (15) starts the day by telling me to 'f off' for taking photos whilst they were opening presents. DS1 (17) tells me that he's been given a load of unnecessary presents and was almost crying when he said 'it's a bit crap isn't it'.
I realise that the magic isn't there for DS1 but we need to keep it going for DS3 slightly longer, he's only 9.
DS1 I had bought near on £400 worth of driving lessons for which I put into a voucher. I had told him beforehand I was doing this. Cue cutting remarks that DS3 had more to open than him - yes, mostly stocking fillers.
DS1 turns round and then says he's not coming back home from Uni for Christmas next year as he can't be bothered.

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.
I've already had to tell DS1 and DS2 off. OH has said nothing to support me.
Rant over. I had, I thought, brought my kids up to be grateful and to value things we give them. Clearly not. I am disgusted by DS1 and DS2s behaviour today. It's almost as if DS1 cannot cope with a day being not about him.

If I didn't have my parents coming over, I would cancel Christmas lunch, but it's not fair on them.

My mother would have taken the voucher back off me for that!

I’m sorry OP.

That's awful, OP. I'm really sorry

I’d take the presents back tbh.
Then I’d tell them to go their rooms or sod off out until they can show some gratitude

Everyone sounds a little over-wrought, OP.

I hope that the Christmas spirit improves for the sake of your DS3 and for you.

Make a nice lunch for you and your parents. Try and get a refund on the driving lessons or donate them to someone more grateful. Tell your children they’re brats and they can make themselves a sandwich.

InTheBleakMidwinterIWouldSing
Good idea, I'm going to do that now.
I've given him 15 minutes to have a shower, have some food and get into the spirit or I am switching the oven off and cancelling Grandparents, I've told him this.

My mum would also have made me feel guilty as hell for behaving like that. Poor you OP. You don’t deserve those comments after all your effort.

Yeah that’s pretty bad. Sorry OP. I’d be spending the next year driving home the message of gratitude and not being greedy or materialistic.

Oh no, how disappointing. I really don’t know what to say as I don’t know how you live your lives but I suggest you stop doing everything for them. They can cook and clean their own stuff; maybe then they’d appreciate what you do for them.

Unbelievable! I hope you have a nice time with your parents, anyway. Make sure the ungrateful teens help out. 💐

YANBU. What little shits.

What consequences will the 15yo get for telling you to fuck off?

So sorry OP. I think I would have removed the voucher with a view to selling it on unless his behaviour and manners improved!

Hope your Christmas Day isn't a total washout.

It is. Big hugs and I hope your day gets better. Try to put it behind you and deal with D1 at a later date so you and your 9 year old can enjoy your day.

Oh dear, OP. I blame the culture of consumerism and entitlement that kids grow up in these days. You do your best for them and they take it for granted and expect it as their due.

Oh for goodness sake don’t cancel the grandparents!! Who is that punishing?! What would your parents then do for their dinner?

Good for you OP. Don’t tolerate that crap.

What the hell is wrong with your OH? He should be supporting you. DS1 sounds massively ungrateful, don't put up with it. I'd get a refund on the voucher tbh.

Yes it’s ungrateful, yes it’s shit. But I think around 17 is when Christmas loses its shine for a bit until you have your own kids. Especially as the oldest it can be hard to see siblings seemingly being treated better (while forgetting that for 8 years they didn’t exist)

Don’t punish your parents!!! Or yourself. That’s really shity for your folks!

I am sure you have brought up lovely DC - let me guess, if their teachers or friends parents described them, it would be very positive?

Sounds to me like your DS1 is worried about becoming an adult, envious of little sibling with no adult worries about making his way in the world... driving (test)... university (exams)... and he is acting out at the person he loves most and relies on most.

I could be completely wrong but fwiw that's what sprung to mind reading your OP. I hope the day improves x

That is absolutely appalling behaviour. Id be livid if I were you, too.

I'd also take the voucher back. Please don't cancel your parents though. Why should they suffer because two of your sons are being sh1ts?

Tell them to stay in their rooms whilst your parents are over.

Oh and I also think your oh has been useless. He should be teaching them how to speak to their mother, or at the very least calling them up on their rudeness.

DS2 I've told off big time and banned him from screen time.
I have also spelled out to OH how unsupportive he's been.
They are all three doing the washing up after Christmas lunch and buffet tonight.

I threatened to cancel my parents but I won't do that to them. They are staying over until Friday evening.

That's it. This is the last big Christmas. Next year I am getting all of them a charity gift as their main gift + stocking fillers (with the exception of DS3)

Rant over. Will crack open the gin once I've picked my parents up. The irony is I need DS1 to be able to drive as OH can't!

Don’t cancel your parents! Take back the voucher though.