Is this the height of ingratitude?

[choc71]

I had everything planned for a perfect Christmas. Little family holiday to the Christmas markets in Germany for a few days before hand, as I know I've worked a lot this year.
I've bought all the gifts and food throughout the year, wrapped everything, got up at 3 a.m. to make sure Santa had been and everything was out ready for the morning.
Bonus lie in till 830 when the kids woke up.
DS2 (15) starts the day by telling me to 'f off' for taking photos whilst they were opening presents. DS1 (17) tells me that he's been given a load of unnecessary presents and was almost crying when he said 'it's a bit crap isn't it'.
I realise that the magic isn't there for DS1 but we need to keep it going for DS3 slightly longer, he's only 9.
DS1 I had bought near on £400 worth of driving lessons for which I put into a voucher. I had told him beforehand I was doing this. Cue cutting remarks that DS3 had more to open than him - yes, mostly stocking fillers.
DS1 turns round and then says he's not coming back home from Uni for Christmas next year as he can't be bothered.

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.
I've already had to tell DS1 and DS2 off. OH has said nothing to support me.
Rant over. I had, I thought, brought my kids up to be grateful and to value things we give them. Clearly not. I am disgusted by DS1 and DS2s behaviour today. It's almost as if DS1 cannot cope with a day being not about him.

If I didn't have my parents coming over, I would cancel Christmas lunch, but it's not fair on them.

My lot have whinged and whinged today - not one of them has been happy with every aspect of the day.

So we sat down at tea and i declared next year would be a stocking free Christmas and they would only get cash since my habit of buying directly off their Christmas lists had upset them so much. OMG the horror! They do want the stockings and what's on their lists - they just want to whinge about it as well. That's what they actually said. Bloody teenagers

My teens bickered all morning. Dd in particular has been an absolute pain in the arse with a face down to the floor because the boyfriend hadn't wished her a Merry Christmas yet
I had to bite my tongue more than once. They are 17 and 19 and this Christmas I've found hard work probably because I'm still a bit ill. I'm sure it was easier when they were younger.

But the drving token is very excessive. Clearly you can afford it but that's not the point. I'd half it and tell him to earn the rest with a part time job.
I don't do spoilt. They need to learn not everyone has it that easy.

Despite even doing your best for your children and them generally being ok, some children will surprise you will being completely and totally ungrateful little pups.

Unfortunately I have a very short leash for putting up with this.

Removing the voucher is step one.
Make life a lot less comfortable by routing out of their favourite TV space is two.
Allocating a lot of jobs for them to do is three.
Being extremely unmoved by their needs is four.

Being told to f off on Christmas for a photo is ground zero for me....I would neither forget it or forgive it. I would take it as a major wake up call that one of my children is a little shit and needs his cough softened. And I would softened it.

Your husband sounds like zero help.

Perhaps you need to go MIA for a bit.

Wishing you well 💐

I'd have never dared tell my Mum (or Dad) to F off but I came across as ungrateful for my present one year as a teen I desperately wanted a CD player and thought they had bought me one but I opened it to find a typewriter I didn't type and had no interest in writing etc. They thought it would help me in whatever career I went into to know how to type. Due to the shape I was convinced it was a CD player (I was and am a huge music lover) and it was such a disappointment. I was too young to hide it and I know I hurt their feelings and I didn't mean to.

Poor you OP. So ungrateful of them

Secondly, we always take photos on Christmas Day morning. How was I supposed to know that DS2 now doesn't want this to be tradition. I'd say it's a good rule of thumb in life to always ask if you can take photos of someone first, family or not. I even do this with my 4yo and 3yo as I don't like people taking photos of me.

Water I agree. I always ask...both of my DC prefer very few pictures and they certainly don't allow them on social media.

I would wonder why he was being such a grouch. Maybe he's feeling emotional about moving on and growing up. That said he should still be polite and kind to his family. I do remember one Christmas when I must have been about 17 being really grumpy and obnoxious. I felt very self righteous about it at the time (god knows what I had a bee in my bonnet about) but looking back now I was being a complete arse. It will pass OP but totally get how you feel!

How could DS1 drive if he hasn't had driving lessons?

He needs to be supervised by someone fit to drive. So if you or your DH wasn't fit to drive, you couldn't have supervised him.

It's a difficult age. They think they know everything and have a lot of criticism for the Adults around them. I find teen boys, in particular are very black and white and selfish, in their thinking.