Am I in the wrong for this?

[Gxoxo]

Hi all, not sure we're to post so hoping I will get some advice here. (Already posted in chat but think this topic is better suited)

A week ago I went to see my gp regarding a mark I have on one of my breast's, she seemed a bit concerned but told me to wait a week to see if it disappears and if not to come straight back the following week to see her. I felt she really listened and understood how I was feeling regarding me being worried about this mark, a week passed and the mark is still there so I make another app to go back and see her today, I go to my appointment today and it's with a male dr who completely brushed me off and acted asif I had nothing to worry about even though my previous app with the female dr told me to come back so she could refer me to the breast clinic. The dr said he could refer me to gynaecologist if it made me happy! I left the appointment quite annoyed as I felt I had been ignored and referred to the wrong place. When I was walking to my car I seen the female gp I had previously seen. I went over to her and asked if I could have a quick word, she quickly and abruptly brushed me off saying 'I am off duty, I am sick, I have a daughter to worry about I can't speak to you' to which I seemed a bit shocked and said I only wanted to query if a gynaecologist was the correct person I should be seeing following our last app. She rolled her eyes and said yes. She made me feel completely humiliated as there was someone standing right by us. In my previous app with her she made me feel like she cared and she needed to see me again. Then when I do see her and simply wanted some advice she was completely rude, I am right to be annoyed by this? Or am I in the wrong for speaking to her outside of her office?

Tbh I just thought it was human decency to help someone who is clearly worried about something that you have previously helped and advised them on.

If a GP walked past a toad accident without stopping to help, as they were ‘off duty’, would peoples reactions be the same I wonder? She was in the car park and could easily have spared 5 minutes of her time

So the poor Dr should forget about being sick herself, forget about her daughter and speak to everyone who chooses to grab her when she’s trying to get in the car and get home? No. That’s what appointments and a private room are for. Being approached in a car park is totally different to a road accident

Hey OP, I understand what it’s like to feel frightened re: health . She was rude to you and equally how were you supposed to know she had a sick child ? She should’ve just said ‘I’m off duty but if you go and talk to reception they’ll make you an appointment with me’.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing and you’re aware now you shouldn’t have approached her but in the moment it seems like the right thing to do .

I hope you get answers
ATB
Xx

I don't think you are a terrible person, just someone worried about their health. However at the same time, approaching someone outside of their workplace, when she is on her own time, expecting her to basically work, is actually pretty self centred and shows a lack of respect of boundaries. The woman probably works her arse off as a GP, which is an extremely stressful job, so no wonder she was pissed off when someone walked up to her in the car park pressing her for medical advice. It was rude, I do appreciate that rudeness wasn't your intention, however it was rude.

If you're not happy with the other GPs advice, perhaps go back to the female GP. During a scheduled appointment.

I hope everything is fine. I'm sure it will be, it simply sounds like a skin problem if they are considering referring you to dermatology, as opposed to anything more sinister (however I'm not a doctor or a nurse so don't know for sure).

@whiteroseredrose

"How awful would it have been if I'd ignored the children in my class or previous classes if I bumped into them in the supermarket just because it wasn't in work time."

Would you have felt quite the same if the parents of every child or previous children that you have taught stopped you outside of work time to ask how their child is doing in class, if they had any issues, what is your recommendation to deal with said issue, tips on how to help a child with something they are struggling with, wanting to discuss any family problems that the child is experiencing etc. Constantly while you are trying to go about your business.

I don't think Sammy meant they didn't want children saying a quick hello. I think they were more referring to patients going up to them outside of working hours asking for medical advice. That must be completely draining.

@whiteroseredrose saying ‘hello, how are you?’ is one thing, and a mere social pleasantry. Expecting her to dish out professional advice, that she would no doubt be held accountable for, with no access to the patient’s notes/chart etc having been ‘caught on the hop’ in the car park when off duty, sick and worried about her own child, is another matter entirely. I avoid going to the supermarket now for this very reason, and do click and collect or online delivery. My personal time is just that, personal.

Yabu - she may have been rude but you dont know what was happening in her life just then. She did try and warn you off by saying she was sick and off duty.

I disagree with pp saying they wouldn't have spoke to you like that, that's easy to say from a calm, comfortable place at home. If you'd heard the worst possible news that day, were stressed and worried bout yourself or your family, had been approached by a random patient who you didn't really remember who was asking a question when you don't have access to their notes or the other consultation your response may have been quite, quite different.

Dont think of it any more op, you overstepped the mark and know you shouldn't have but you always apologise when you see her next but I doubt she'll remember.

YANBU to be upset with the second GP.

However, your first GP was not rude, she was short and to the point, expressing the fact that she would not be able to speak with you. She had pressing matters to attend to, and is not actually allowed from a liability viewpoint to give you medical advice outside of the clinic. You however continued to speak to her anyway, which made you the rude one.