Am I in the wrong for this?

[Gxoxo]

Hi all, not sure we're to post so hoping I will get some advice here. (Already posted in chat but think this topic is better suited)

A week ago I went to see my gp regarding a mark I have on one of my breast's, she seemed a bit concerned but told me to wait a week to see if it disappears and if not to come straight back the following week to see her. I felt she really listened and understood how I was feeling regarding me being worried about this mark, a week passed and the mark is still there so I make another app to go back and see her today, I go to my appointment today and it's with a male dr who completely brushed me off and acted asif I had nothing to worry about even though my previous app with the female dr told me to come back so she could refer me to the breast clinic. The dr said he could refer me to gynaecologist if it made me happy! I left the appointment quite annoyed as I felt I had been ignored and referred to the wrong place. When I was walking to my car I seen the female gp I had previously seen. I went over to her and asked if I could have a quick word, she quickly and abruptly brushed me off saying 'I am off duty, I am sick, I have a daughter to worry about I can't speak to you' to which I seemed a bit shocked and said I only wanted to query if a gynaecologist was the correct person I should be seeing following our last app. She rolled her eyes and said yes. She made me feel completely humiliated as there was someone standing right by us. In my previous app with her she made me feel like she cared and she needed to see me again. Then when I do see her and simply wanted some advice she was completely rude, I am right to be annoyed by this? Or am I in the wrong for speaking to her outside of her office?

Tbh I just thought it was human decency to help someone who is clearly worried about something that you have previously helped and advised them on.

Why didn’t you make the follow up appointment with her?

Dr A and Dr B would have done the same job. Sexist much.

I'm just struggling to understand that people think because they are out of work it makes it ok to be rude, so your saying if you was my sons teacher and I approached you outside of school you would be rude to me? Any parent I think would then put a complaint in about you

I personally would not be rude to anyone if they was clearly worried and concerned. Yes she was off duty but she didn't need to be rude, it's simple. Maybe that's just me and other decent people? Thanks anyway guys

MERRY CHRISTMAS

@TeddybearBaby thankyou! That is all's I'm trying to say but seems like people on here are struggling to understand. Can't think of anyone who wouldn't be worried about something like this, also can't think of anyone who would appreciate there dr being so rude. Merry Christmas x

She was short with you - but not rude. You had approached her out of work, and then, when she told you this, you continued to chunter on at her. And you are still confused?

Really, OP - she's not the one in the wrong here

@MorganKitten I did, but when I arrived it was someone else

I assume that was about me?

If you met me on Christmas Eve and I was off work sick and there was something wrong with my child then yes I may come across as rude. If you said "hello, how are you?" I wouldn't be, however a "do you remember last week when x/y/z happened/can I ask about homework/tests/behaviour" then I would definitely say "I am off work sick, this isn't an appropriate time or place, make an appointment" and if it came off rude then so be it.
If a parent wanted to complain that I didn't stop to answer their questions at their beck and call, outside of my work hours, when I am not well and I have my own things going on then so be it. My Headteacher would not be on a parents side in that case.

If you wanted the same doctor you should have asked for her. Imagine if every patient wanted a quick word outside of her work hours.
Also she said she was sick and had a sick child to worry about.
Even doctors are allowed to be off duty

And she's not paid to be 24/7 support for your health anxiety, even if she indulged you in surgery time. Get over yourself, do the practice a favour and change GPs.

MERRY CHRISTMAS back at you.

YANBU to be upset that the male doctor brushed off your concerns

However YABVU and yes rude to have accosted the female doctor in the way you did. She probably gets loads of people doing the same thing and was stressed about her ill child, so you got a brusque response, but she wasn’t wrong to refuse to discuss it in the circumstances

OP your problem is that you cannot see that you were rude. It is rude to approach someone in those circumstances. It is even worse to further question then when they have said no.
As another poster said, she wasn't rude she was maybe short with you but again you don't know why.

You are the type that will always minimise your own actions.

@mummyway FYI I did ask for her

She isn’t paid to deal with you when she is off duty and in a car park. How can you honestly not see that you are not reasonable in expecting her to do so.

She owed you fuck all and you wanted her time and her expertise. If all her patients did that she’s never get home. She needed to be rude to get you to go away and leaver her alone. I feel so sorry for her, it must have been a shit position to be in with her other concerns, which she told you about and you STILL thought you were more important.

Merry Christmas indeed.

I think it’s understand you approached her, but you have no idea what made her snappy - “being worried about her child” could mean anything. The child could be really ill.

Somebody approached me outside work about their bloody appointment time when I had just found out I had had a missed MC. I didn’t actually tell them to fuck off, I didn’t care about their fucking appointment because my baby was dead, but I certainly thought it. I’m sure I was pretty abrupt with them. Doctors are human too, and we don’t always react like robots.

@Petrichor11 I understand

@ChristmasCarcass sorry to hear that, I totally understand what your saying. I do feel like a idiot for approaching her, my obvious health worries got the best of me as I've never went through anything like this before and I just felt like she was approachable due to our previous apps. How wrong was I

Op if you asked for same doctor and got a different one you could have asked why. And then when you saw the female gp and she said she was off sick the fact that you still wanted an answer..... No one is expected to be on call 24/7.
You were very clearly in the wrong to accost someone, whether teacher or doctor or any other profession outside of their work hours and expect them to answer. If you cannot see why and how you were in the wrong then I don't know how else to explain it.

You were the one who overstepped, forcing her to be firm and correct you. That’s not her being “rude”, as much as I sympathise with your predicament.

@mummyway have you read any of my responses? You don't need to explain anything. I have agreed multiple times I shouldn't of approached her.

"it seems people just want to try and make out I'm a terrible person" ... OP whether you recognise it or not, overstepping the mark is rude. Also do you always play the victim?

She quite clearly tried to swerve you, yet you proceeded to ask her your questions. You are rude at best, utterly ignorant and selfish at worst.

I'm torn here. Yes op to overstepped the boundaries, talking to her about your complaints in Christmas Eve in the carpark wasn't your finest hour although I get you were worried.
However, I teach and I've been accosted several times by parents and kids wanting to know something about school/work/kid's behaviour and actually to DO have to be polite and professional.
"Make an appointment for Monday and we'll have a good chat" whilst keeping moving towards the car, works for me.
Sounds like she was ill and worried though so I'd cut her some slack.

I’m a counsellor and have clients messaging me all the time - I really get it but I kindly respond that we can talk about that in our next session unless they feel they need to make an earlier appointment. Wouldn’t dream of making someone feel shite who obvs needs some support.

Having said that, perhaps she was worried about her daughter / having a bad day and didn’t mean it.

I think you should step away from this thread now and chill out 😘

@GlitteryGracie I agree, we both could of went about it differently I think

persoanlly

Also just to add. I've had a few health scares recently which I've been referred for, if I saw my gp on the road I would never dream of demanding a second opinion outside of their work hours and outside of their work environment. That's just how non entitled people behave, by not expecting everyone to drop everything they are doing and 3xpecting themselves to be top priority

@TeddybearBaby I understand she may have had several people doing this to her, I should of thought it through before doing it, I may be being sensitive towards her being dismissive with me as I was just clearly worried and didn't think she was going to react like that. I think I am saying she is 'rude' as I personally would never react to someone like that who is clearly worried about there health. Maybe that's just me though