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Original poster

Am I in the wrong for this?

132 replies

Gxoxo · 24/12/2019 20:37

Hi all, not sure we're to post so hoping I will get some advice here. (Already posted in chat but think this topic is better suited)

A week ago I went to see my gp regarding a mark I have on one of my breast's, she seemed a bit concerned but told me to wait a week to see if it disappears and if not to come straight back the following week to see her. I felt she really listened and understood how I was feeling regarding me being worried about this mark, a week passed and the mark is still there so I make another app to go back and see her today, I go to my appointment today and it's with a male dr who completely brushed me off and acted asif I had nothing to worry about even though my previous app with the female dr told me to come back so she could refer me to the breast clinic. The dr said he could refer me to gynaecologist if it made me happy! I left the appointment quite annoyed as I felt I had been ignored and referred to the wrong place. When I was walking to my car I seen the female gp I had previously seen. I went over to her and asked if I could have a quick word, she quickly and abruptly brushed me off saying 'I am off duty, I am sick, I have a daughter to worry about I can't speak to you' to which I seemed a bit shocked and said I only wanted to query if a gynaecologist was the correct person I should be seeing following our last app. She rolled her eyes and said yes. She made me feel completely humiliated as there was someone standing right by us. In my previous app with her she made me feel like she cared and she needed to see me again. Then when I do see her and simply wanted some advice she was completely rude, I am right to be annoyed by this? Or am I in the wrong for speaking to her outside of her office?

Tbh I just thought it was human decency to help someone who is clearly worried about something that you have previously helped and advised them on.

OP posts:
Fieldofgreycorn · 24/12/2019 23:33

No one here can tell you if the mark should be seen at a breast clinic or by a dermatologist.

GP is not able to give you advice about your health, or comment about the practice of another GP (essentially a second opinion, which you are entitled to ask for) in a car park or outside of an appointment. Not under any circumstances whatsoever.

She might have been a bit rude. She was off duty. Sick. Worried about her child. SHE IS HUMAN!! You’ll have to forgive that.

Just make an appointment with her or another female GP as soon as you can. As others have said it’s most likely fine but you’re right to follow up on it.

AlexaAmbidextra · 24/12/2019 23:35

this is the 1st time I have ever done anything like this as my worry and concern for my health just took over, clearly most people in this thread have never had that feeling

Oh stop feeling that you’re so special. I bet pretty much everyone on here has had some sort of health worry at some time. Many will have been through tests to exclude cancer and some will have been diagnosed with it, or some other serious illness. You really aren’t some exceptional case.

ToLiveInPeace · 24/12/2019 23:56

Sorry for the confusion - I mentioned indentation because another poster mentioned a mark that looked like it was made by a bra.

OP, please try to forget about these events, make the most of Christmas, then set your mind at rest by following up as soon as you can.

LudoFriend · 25/12/2019 00:19

OP, does googling this bring up similar marks?

Cherry Angioma

HTH Flowers

LudoFriend · 25/12/2019 02:04

BTW, I'm not saying you shouldn't get a second opinion/see dermatology, but I had a quick Google as I've two on my breast and didn't think anything of it until your post. I'm 99% sure that's what mine are, and if that takes some stress out of Christmas and New Year for you, great.

fluffyjumper · 25/12/2019 02:50

Gp was not rude she was sick as she stated. You dont in what way she was sick, but you then continued to badger her. She had her child to worry about too. You have no grounds to feel annoyed about her reaction.

Kisskiss · 25/12/2019 03:25

She gave you all the salient information you needed, immediately- off duty, sick, worried about her child. Surprised that you didn’t get why she seemed abrupt? (Which she was, but given her reasons, seems fair, she’s only human too?)

Think you’re getting schtick on here because you seem a bit unempathetic yourself.. your updates about how people mustn’t have had health worries ever is a bit telling- I’m guessing a lot of people on here have experienced health scares or been affected by some serious health issue.

It is annoying to be delayed in diagnosis, but instead of ranting about that poor gp, gp get another appointment ASAP. Frankly the dermatologist will be able to refer you if it turns out that they are not the right specialist as well. But you should decide if you want to wait till you see him/her to do something

Countryescape · 25/12/2019 03:52

I think you got off lightly considering you bailed her up in the car park! What makes you think you’re so special? Imagine if everyone behaved as terribly as you. She has her own life! I would have been furious! Patients would sometimes do this to me when I was trying to do my grocery shopping. I hated it.

MiniGuinness · 25/12/2019 04:10

This reply has been deleted

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eaglejulesk · 25/12/2019 04:13

People are being completely harsh and rude on here, I hope they never have to go through the worry and stress I have went through the last 2 weeks

I'm sure many of us have worried about our health at some time, I know I have, but we generally stick to the appropriate way to deal with it - which is not accosting a doctor in a car park!

ElluesPichulobu · 25/12/2019 04:55

you were absolutely unreasonable to approach the other GP when she was off duty. that is not on.

Chefwifelife · 25/12/2019 05:17

Hey @Gxoxo sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. I think if you put a different spin on it; when you saw the first doctor she was kind and made you feel listened to. Then how she acted when you saw her in a different capacity was very different. Why may that be? Something has brought her to that point and she sounds like she was in a bit of fight and flight mode herself. Anxious people make anxious people anxious. Although you may not agree with how the doctor handled it, it doesn’t mean it’s right or wrong. It’s just what happened. The other PP is right about her not being covered legally to give you advice in that situation.

I think the main crux of your situation is that you felt that the second doctor didn’t listen. You didn’t feel cared for as you expected. And understandably you’re concerned.

We are all people. We are all inherently good deep down. You didn’t do anything awful but will learn from this.

I wish you a happy and healthy NY x

sammylady37 · 25/12/2019 05:49

I think it’s hilarious that one week after you attended her, you expected her to a) recognize you b) remember what your issue was and c) recall her treatment plan and give an opinion on someone else’s plan despite not having been at the second consultation. Do you have any idea how many other patients she saw in that week since she saw you? And the range of presentations she will have dealt with, from the inappropriate attendees with cough/colds to the terminally ill to the suicidal to the utter tragic. And guess what, all of the people in front of her will have been worried about their health. In a GP clinic that doesn’t make you unique.

It’s shit like this from people like you that makes me dislike being a doctor at times. Outside of my work hours I just want to get on with my personal life like everyone else. I don’t want to be accosted in the work car park, the supermarket or anywhere else. I have my game face on for work and outside of that I’m not public property, so leave me alone.

whiteroseredrose · 25/12/2019 07:54

Sammylady I'm glad you're not my GP. Fortunately ours are lovely and will say hello and even dare to say 'how are you' to their patients if they see them around.

How awful would it have been if I'd ignored the children in my class or previous classes if I bumped into them in the supermarket just because it wasn't in work time.

BrickTop999 · 25/12/2019 08:14

I used to get worried over health a lot. I hardly do now but I do understand where you are coming from. One GP says one thing, the other completely contrary. Its not like the GP was in Tesco’s ! She was in her work car park. In a worried perhaps irrational mind, I may well have done the same.
Forget the GP and focus on getting it checked, but neither doctor thought it was urgent to refer you straightaway so its likely nothing, but insist on it being checked as we are always advised to. Relax and enjoy Christmas Flowers

Ocomeocomeimaginaryfleas · 25/12/2019 08:29

You were completely wrong for approaching her outside work. Sounds like she had plenty of worries of her own.

But don't let it spoil your Christmas, she'll forget about it, so should you.

Teachermaths · 25/12/2019 08:38

@whiteroseredrose I wouldn't ignore students. I just wouldn't talk shop with them or their parents. There's a difference between smiling and saying hello, and expecting professional advice. The latter should be reserved for appointments.

larrygrylls · 25/12/2019 08:43

Doctors are professionals and should act professionally. Any professional worth their salt would help someone for 10 minutes if they were distressed.

If a GP walked past a toad accident without stopping to help, as they were ‘off duty’, would peoples reactions be the same I wonder? She was in the car park and could easily have spared 5 minutes of her time.

OP, I would ask for an urgent referral to the breast clinic and mention lawyers if it is not forthcoming.

larrygrylls · 25/12/2019 08:44

That is, obviously, ‘road’, not ‘toad’...

Teachermaths · 25/12/2019 08:47

This wasn't an emergency or an accident. Why should any professional offer advice outside of their paid working hours?

You wouldn't expect Tesco to serve you 10 minutes after the store shut.

KindnessCrusader · 25/12/2019 08:50

You can't approach Drs off duty, that was unfair of you. I'm sorry you're worried and I hope the dermatologist can help.

Ocomeocomeimaginaryfleas · 25/12/2019 08:56

She was in the car park and could easily have spared 5 minutes of her time.

But you don't know what other stuff was going on in her head once she left work. Doctors are entitled to down time too. They're dropping like flies as it is. Let's try and look after the ones we have left.

tableanadchairs · 25/12/2019 09:02

Approaching GP in car park- wrong
Complaining about male GP - absolutely
Make a further appointment to see female Gp - yes
Being referred to dermatology- possibly wrong probably beast clinic more appropriate
Assuming that female GP won’t remember consultation of a wee previous - rubbish. With the help of computer notes as a brief reminder she would remember and will do when you return to see her.

WillowSummerSloth · 25/12/2019 09:07

I'm a GP. I'm a good, empathetic GP. This would have hugely overstepped my boundaries. Most GPs are teetering on the edge of burnout and I think her reaction reflects this. I am happy to say hello in passing to patients but you were undoubtedly rude sorry. Why not send her a card to apologise?

Dontdisturbmenow · 25/12/2019 09:08

Totally feel for your stress but you were definitely wrong approaching her. My friend is a GP and this happens to her all the time to the point that she tries to avoid going into town.

It is very easy to do, when we get together, I sometimes am tempted to start talking about my, or my family issues, but what she wants is a break from work, so I don't, or if I do, it will be in the context of our discussion.

You have to remember that she sees anxious patients every day, and some who are in a worse situation than you. If all accosted her when she is off, rushing somewhere, dealing with her own stress, she would herself end up with anxiety.

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