Not kissing baby - AIBU with PFB?

[PalominoPony0]

38 weeks pregnant, FTM. Baby is expected to be early and imminent.

DH and I were discussing how much NHS advice has changed since our parents had us. As an example, MIL refuses to believe ebf babies receive adequate nutrition because that's what she was lead to believe 35 + years ago.

I said to DH that everyone is welcome to their opinion but ultimately as long as they respect current, up to date rules (washing hands, not kissing her face/mouth, not vaping around her (MIL), not coming over if poorly), I have no issue.

He agrees but says that I'm being "irrational, hormonal and anal" asking people not to kiss her face/mouth area. I reminded him of the midwife's advice at our NCT class plus showed him articles etc online which he's completely dismissed because he apparently kissed his now 10year old nephew as a newborn, who was never sick or sorry. He said that there is no way I can police who can kiss her and people will want to do just that. I argued it's general advice that most people are now aware of and if they don't like it, they don't spend time with her. It's quite simple.

I'm so desperate to be the best mother I can be to my baby and it's really stressing me that DH would treat such a basic guideline with such disregard.

Am I being "irrational, hormonal and anal", ultimately U - or not?

I don't think I've ever kissed a baby on the mouth - surely you kiss them on the forehead especially if it's not even your own baby.

Thank you all, this has reassured me that I'm doing the right thing. I have absolutely no issue being firm, especially with MIL, and I'm pleased the general consensus is that I'm not BU.

Saying that, I really do hope I'm not put in the position where I have to ask/deal with strops/reiterate - as I said in my OP, I presumed this was all common sense but again, I do feel less PFB after reading through others experiences.

DH has got the message loud & clear.

I'm so sorry to those of you who's little ones have suffered

I hope everyone has a lovely Christmas x

Handwashing is awkward as it implies you think the person is dirty but phrased carefully it should be fine.
Whereas I'd never take being asked to ask my hands as a sign in dirty. I'd take it as a fairly sensible precaution to avoid spreading germs.
If anyone took hand washing as a slight against them or found it awkward then I'd quietly wonder if they have a complex or whether they were simply the sort of selfis person to willingly ignore other people's wishes.

I do agree phrasing makes a difference, but the types of people who want to insist on hugs/kisses are often the sort of people who'd take a polite "we're asking everyone to wash their hands to reduce exposure to winter bugs" to be a slight (probably because they have a special power to know they have no bacteria or germs in a way that defies all scientific knowledge so the parents' wishes don't apply to them).

I don't know anyone who would even think of kissing a child on the mouth, it's weird. Cheek or top of head.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily I am so sorry you're in such pain and discomfort. I do hope you feel better soon.

Currently breastfeeding my 15 month daughter. Early walker and talker. Lost only 1.43% weight in the 1st week and was born as 2% percentile and has been between the 50-75% percentile since week 3.

It's not up to anyone but you if breastfeed. And you can police if they kiss her or come over when ill.
Just pick up the baby which doesn't need to be passed about like the choc tin at Christmas and walk out the room.

Its difficult but make sure you have boundaries you are happy with. No one wants to risk their baby being ill and his mum is being selfish there and your OH needs to look at the evidence. Why would he even want to risk it?

I'm not on the breast is best mission but informed is best. You are doing the right research with evidence driven data.

My parents and IL are in awe of how developed my daughter is as they thought formula and tins were better as that's what was heavily advertised at the time again 35 years ago. Times have moved on.

Ps I am in No way bashing formula. Formula is medicine thats there as a choice.