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AIBU?

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Original poster

To request Xmas turkey served before 7pm

249 replies

askingaquestion1 · 23/12/2019 17:47

Going to Xmas at my Dad's. He wants us to eat our turkey meal at 7pm because I think he wants the kids to be in bed so his meal isn't disturbed by the cherubs. I'd like to eat with the kids as think it's an important family tradition plus 7pm is too late to eat such a heavy meal. Kids range from 5 to 3 months. He says not possible to eat 4.30ish as turkey won't be cooked before then. Has he got an exceptionally poor oven or a very large turkey? Or is it just an excuse?!

OP posts:
TriangularRatbag · 23/12/2019 21:01

Has the host been a guest of yours in the past? Has he politely eaten at 1:30 while presumably secretly thinking that it's much too early for a large meal, and that he isn't really hungry? That's what nice guests do - fit in with their host's plans, and not expect the timetable of the household to be upended to accommodate their own usual pattern!

SarahTancredi · 23/12/2019 21:02

Well of course if kids are snacking all afternoon they wont be hungry. But then if they had meals at sensible times they wouldn't need snacks...

Plus leave it too long they go past it and dont want anything to eat.

Besides these kids have got to eat at some point. If the ovens full then all that's left is shit like crisps and peanuts or beans on toast, cans of soup or a sandwich. Fuck that. My standards are low but even I draw the line at tomato soup on xmas day

circleorsquare · 23/12/2019 21:04

@jazzandh that's what I was thinking!

@Flashinggreen how is a roast dinner not a children's meal? Sad that some people don't want to eat together. We eat around 2pm and have done, having children didn't change that! Mine would be very cross to miss out even at the age of 5!

My youngest would have been 3 months at Christmas her first year but I can't remember it being an issue, she may have had a nap or either me or my husband would have held her. She was a nightmare at that age sleeping so she wouldn't have gone to bed at 7 then even had I wanted her to.

RaininSummer · 23/12/2019 21:06

Seems a mean thing to do as christmas dinner is more than the food alone. It's the nicely decorated table, the crackers, glasses, wine and a bigger family gathering than normal dinner for a lot of families.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/12/2019 21:06

Even my 11 month old doesn’t eat until 8pm most days.

So when your child is school age... 8pm start eating, say 8.30 done (I'm being generous here). Wind down/digest for half an hour, bedtime routine is half an hour (song and story). At the earliest 9.30 bedtime. We're up to get ready at 7am and that's not enough sleep for little brains.

nokidshere · 23/12/2019 21:08

OP has no idea why her dad wants to eat at 7 other than the turkey being cooked. He hasn't said he doesn't want the children there, she is just assuming that.

Just speak to him and say that's a bit late and could you have it earlier please.

rainywinterday · 23/12/2019 21:08

I think you need to find out when and what he's providing for the children....or is he just assuming that you'll make a separate dinner for them and he doesn't have to factor them in??

I wouldn't mind if it was well thought out and he's planned meals for the children and when they will eat etc.

Dinner at 7pm is a nightmare though as the kids will be needing to go to bed but in no way will be settled so you'll be running up and down the stairs and everyone will be getting annoyed.

Pfefferkuchen · 23/12/2019 21:10

Well of course if kids are snacking all afternoon they wont be hungry. But then if they had meals at sensible times they wouldn't need snacks...

well kids are used to their routine.
They don't finish school until 3:30, so by the time they are home it's 4pm. When they have clubs it's even later. Of course you can make them have diner 2 or 3 hours earlier on Christmas Eve, but why would I want to do that? I'd rather them stay up later and sleep later in the morning! No one wants a 5 or 6am start on Christmas Day Grin

Pfefferkuchen · 23/12/2019 21:12

MrsTerryPratchett

when I had an 11 months old, I was on maternity leave and they didn't get up until 9am. It was bliss.

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/12/2019 21:14

When did he tell you his stupid plan?

PlasticPatty · 23/12/2019 21:15

Bloody ridiculous. Keeping Christmas and pushing the children out? It's all about a baby, you know.

Shoxfordian · 23/12/2019 21:24

I think your dad has a point, noisy 5 year old, baby chucking food about, sounds really annoying

Flashinggreen · 23/12/2019 21:26

@circleorsquare I fully agree with you, but was thinking of how to compromise with the OP’s dad

LemonPrism · 23/12/2019 21:27

Xmas dinner is served at 3pm at this house... like a Sunday lunch not a tea, wtf

Flashinggreen · 23/12/2019 21:32

When we go to my in laws only stockings are opened before lunch- strictly at lunchtime. I’ve done it for years when we go, back his year I rally fancy letting the 11YO and 14YO open everything when they wake as I did as a child. I’m such a conformist it goes against the grain... g ET together with your brother and work out what you want to do.

pallisers · 23/12/2019 21:33

I think your dad has a point, noisy 5 year old, baby chucking food about, sounds really annoying

I wonder why he invited them then.

LemonPrism · 23/12/2019 21:35

@Pfefferkuchen my friends and I tend to eat between 8-9pm but not on Xmas day! And not with small children... what you'd keep your kids up until midnight to have dinner?

It's a Christmas Lunch... not a Christmas adults only dinner party

KareyHunt · 23/12/2019 21:36

I wonder why he invited them then.

I'm guessing for the (many) elements of Christmas that don't involve a sit-down meal Grin

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 23/12/2019 21:36

That would be a deal breaker for, it’s the children’s Christmas too and I wouldn’t be eating the main celebratory meal without mine.

When my oldest was tiny at Christmas, she would nap at grown up lunchtime and so I made her a blitzed version with chicken I’d roasted in advance, but that was the last year she didn’t eat with us. She was too young to know anything about it, the same could not be said for a 5 or even 3 year old, Grandad should be renamed Scrooge.

Zucker · 23/12/2019 21:39

You'll be doing bedtime with the kids while the dinner is being served? How will that work? I presume the children don't have an off switch that allows them to sleep on command.

DecemberSnow · 23/12/2019 21:46

Are all gonna be in bed by 7pm?

DecemberSnow · 23/12/2019 21:47

Are all the children going to be in bed by 7?

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/12/2019 21:47

It’s one day - christmas. Doesn’t grandad want to see the kids :(

7pm too late for me let alone kids

They need an xmas dinner

I like to eat about 2 for Xmas lunch

TwoOddSocks · 23/12/2019 21:48

Wow that's really mean spirited not to include the kids. I would have family at home next year.

CottonHeadedNinyMuggins · 23/12/2019 21:49

We generally eat half 5/6 but our Christmas dinner is usually served about 1pm. I couldn't imagine trying to get comfortable in bed whilst digesting such a large meal to be honest - and that's without children being around (this is the first year that there is a baby in our imediate family since my brother and I were children).

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