To request Xmas turkey served before 7pm

[askingaquestion1]

Going to Xmas at my Dad's. He wants us to eat our turkey meal at 7pm because I think he wants the kids to be in bed so his meal isn't disturbed by the cherubs. I'd like to eat with the kids as think it's an important family tradition plus 7pm is too late to eat such a heavy meal. Kids range from 5 to 3 months. He says not possible to eat 4.30ish as turkey won't be cooked before then. Has he got an exceptionally poor oven or a very large turkey? Or is it just an excuse?!

His house his rules. Your choice to go as an active participant or decline the invite.

If he wants a child free Xmas dinner he shouldn’t have invited people with young kids. And obviously the turkey can be ready at 4:30 if he puts it in the oven earlier. I wouldn’t go. It’s ridiculous to invite your grandchildren on Xmas day and then try and exclude them from Xmas dinner.

Just book dinner at Harrods hun X ?

Seems odd to me to leave the 5 year old out. Won't they realise they're not having Christmas dinner? I certainly would have done

I probably wouldn’t go, actually. Christmas Dinner is a daytime meal in our house and I wouldn’t want my kids to be left out. Obviously if they were “spirited” I would understand his viewpoint more.

OP, when you say 'kids', how many are we talking about?

It would be a no from me too. How can you sit down to a family Christmas dinner without family?

My children, even when they were so young, really enjoyed Christmas dinner. They don't get bored through meals, they enjoy them with us! No iPads in sight either!

There's no guarantee that with with all the excitement of Christmas Day and sleeping at Grandad's house, that the five year old will even go to bed for 7pm so while the adults are tucking in to dinner, you'll be stuck upstairs tucking in a kid who won't go to sleep. Not a great sounding Christmas dinner for you I'm afraid. Well, you or your DH of course.

I would say if your dad (reasonably) wants a child-free meal, then it needs to be later.

Picnic tea for kids in front of Christmas film at 5pm. Kids in bed for 7.30pm, adult meal at 8ish I would say.

If he wants a child free Xmas dinner he shouldn't have invited people with young kids
This.

I wouldn't be happy about my DC being excluded (the older ones that is - obviously the 3 month old won't care). Try to find a compromise (eg 6pm?), otherwise I think you'll have to decline the invite.

No I wouldn't go.

Have lunch at home and tell him a turkey sandwich at supper time is fine....
Is he The Grinch op?

No way the kids will be asleep for 7. So it will be more like 8 when you eat. I think it's very mean spirited of him; to be honest I'd make it clear I won't be eating Xmas dinner without my kid/s and if that means not going, so be it.

My 5 year old is always in bed before 7.

I'd feel really mean not having Christmas dinner with the kids.

7pm is a weird time as surely you will be in the middle of putting kids to bed at that time and the eldest might still be awake, but too late for them to eat.

I dont think your dad is being unreasonable to want a child free dinner and if he is hosting and cooking it is his choice really.

I agree with Rhyming - it's a weird time.

If we were going out to eat as a family, we'd be eating about 7 - kids have always been fine with it, then put to bed when we get home. If dinner was at 7 there's no way I'd get the kids to bed earlier (bedtime has always been 7:30, apart from when under about 1.5 years - when it's whenever I could get them to sleep, and now the 9 year old is allowed to read for half hour or so (he's reliable and can be trusted to stop when he's sleepy).

We always used to have a kids table. No good for the 3 monther, but from as soon as they can sit for a meal and be policed by the older kids a little bit, whilst in view of the adults, I'd do that if he can't be moved from the 7pm time.

So what are the kids going to eat? Are they very young?
There's still time to get a turkey yourself tomorrow morning..

I am always amazed that some people eat that early in this country. We are having a Christmas Eve dinner party and I don't think starters will be served before 9pm.

Past my bedtime. 😴 💤

So what will the kids eat? Very late to eat Christmas dinner.

Tbh I wouldn’t go.

With a young family, I'd probably choose to visit first thing or Boxing Day. Spend the day with your children, enjoy them and create the precious memories they will enjoy as adults. If he wants a child free meal, he needs to not have children there.

I wouldn’t want to eat a Christmas dinner at 7, no chance. It’s the biggest, richest and most indulgent meal of the year and to be honest by 7 I want the plates cleared, the dishwasher on and to be sat down watching Gavin and Stacey with a mint Baileys.

He absolutely can cook his turkey tomorrow, slice it and warm it though in the gravy, if he doesn’t want the kids there he doesn’t get you.

the three month old might get indigestion from a full on Christmas meal.

How on earth could a three months old have a full on Christmas meal? 😂

I'd have no chance to digest my dinner and pudding if I started at 7pm!
Cheerily tell him you'll make sure the kids have a nap before they come round to his so they'll be fine for dinner at 7!

That's absolutely ridiculous. When my dc were small and we went to PILs for Christmas dinner, we had it at about 1pm.

How miserable. There's so much time for adult Christmases and so little for children's ones.

I find it odd to like turkey more than grandchildren's company but then I'm not that keen on turkey.

ps I am always amazed that people can sit down to dinner at 9pm when it’s been dark since 4 and some of us have been awake since 5am 🙄😛🤷‍♀️