To request Xmas turkey served before 7pm

[askingaquestion1]

Going to Xmas at my Dad's. He wants us to eat our turkey meal at 7pm because I think he wants the kids to be in bed so his meal isn't disturbed by the cherubs. I'd like to eat with the kids as think it's an important family tradition plus 7pm is too late to eat such a heavy meal. Kids range from 5 to 3 months. He says not possible to eat 4.30ish as turkey won't be cooked before then. Has he got an exceptionally poor oven or a very large turkey? Or is it just an excuse?!

His house his rules is such a cop out. No, it's rude and if you think like that, you probably are too. OP, YABU for pandering to your dad. Why do you do it?

adamski
Great that staying up works for your kids. No way would it have worked for my dd at the ages of ops dcs. My friend’s ds would have been beside himself. I would have thought most preschoolers would struggle to eat and stay up late as a treat.

did you seriously say 7PM ?!

Agree it's a cop out. Imagine being invited for Christmas dinner then being told you were going to eat at 2am but it would suddenly become a problem.

Kids don’t care about Xmas dinner
Feed them at 5
But we’ve never had our dinner til 6/7 so wouldn’t be that big a deal for us

I don’t understand how someone could exclude family from a family dinner regardless of their age. And it’s Christmas!
Bah humbug I guess.

@amaryl

If your kids don't care about Christmas dinner then they're very unusual. I've never met a kid who isn't excited to have their Christmas dinner with family.

7 would be an early dinner, we barely hungry by then.
To me eating at 3 or 4 is neither lunch or dinner, it's a Christmas themed meal at some random time.

Excluding the kids is mean though, especially the 5 yr old, who I dare say won't be asleep at 7 lmao

His house, his rules - or does that only work one way?

I agree. He can do what he likes .
OP can choose to join in or stay away.

(I'd be staying away)

Next year you'll know not to accept his invitation. Maybe he finds the whole thing too stressful anyway.

How are you going to feed the children though? I bet the kitchen will be out of bounds and look like a war zone...

I couldn't cope with a big meal like that after 6pm let alone 7 so YANBU. We have always eaten at lunch time on Christmas Day so that everyone can be a part of the day . It's only one day, surely your Dad could be a bit more flexible with his arrangements.

Pigs in Blankets are Small Sausages wrapped in Bacon and are gorgeous. We put ours in with the Turkey.

We have our Meal at Lunchtime so that we can walk it off when we take the Dog our for his walk then we can have a leisurely present opening session. We prepare all the veg the day before and the only thing we have to do on Christmas Day is put the Turkey in early in the morning. I couldn't contemplate starting a meal as big as this in the evening. We tend to have turkey sandwiches and Snacks in the evening but only if we are hungry.

Our first Christmas as parents we went to my in laws. It was also my first away from my family. The tree wasn't even decorated when we arrived late on Christmas Eve and it was obvious no prep had been done. My brother in law traditionally decorated their tree so they'd left it for him. Unfortunately, on Christmas Eve night he instead drank a whole bottle of brandy and fell asleep under the tree. Early the next morning there was a terrible scene about this, they then had some people round for drinks and still noting had been prepped. I kept asking could I do something to help (peel potatoes etc) no no no. Meanwhile, my in laws drank more and more. By early evening our 10 month old was beside himself with tiredness so he went to bed with marmite sandwiches. I helped my MIL in the kitchen and we finally ate at midnight by which time I was being violently sick after eating some spotty looking olives ( I thought they'd be ok). It was a complete disaster! Needless to say we never went again for Christmas and entertained them thereafter.

Did you go, then, @askingaquestion1 ?

@askingaquestion1 OMG op did you go?

This was the most mean spirited post I have read about Xmas in mumsnet, what a Xmas,
I would hate Xmas dinner so late kids or no kids. I can’t imagine leaving children out, Xmas is for children.

I have always cooked enormous turkeys, 4-5 hours, always had it at 12.30pm when children small then after lunch naps fir the tiny ones whilst you can still linger over dinner. Then after dinner games, playing with toys,presents and finally chilling with a film and a full tummy.

What on earth would you do until 7pm, waiting to eat all day. Eat other things so you are too full for Xmas dinner.

All sounds like the craziest of plans just to purposely leave out children. Nothing and no one would make me do things for the detriment of my children lives. You accepted as didn’t want to cause a row, your miserable, selfish DF would have caused the row with his bah humbug attitude. You’re a mug for accepting his ridiculous conditions.

So we went. Fed kids pigs in blankets with mash gravy and veg at 5.30. Followed by mince pies and chocolate. Kids had a lovely day as lots of presents and were exhausted so went to bed like angels before 7. They didn't know any different.
But for me it was a bit of a problem. Felt a bit like we were hanging around all day and was exhausting washing up so late. We actually didn't eat till nearly 8pm! And I woke up at 3am with indigestion although luckily gaviscon meant I got back to sleep. Sister in law and I have agreed we will raise the subject more forcefully next year and if dad won't change we will do something together probably at mine. Thanks all for advice

scubadive - you could have a light lunch or a late brunch, go for a walk, watch a movie, call relatives on another continent, look at books you got for Christmas, play some board games, peel potatoes with the cook. That's what we've always done.

@mathanxiety so basically brunch or a light lunch, keep yourself hungry all day, waiting all day for the main event. Resisting mince pies, chocolates, Xmas cake otherwise won’t enjoy dinner. Then go to bed on a full stomach and get indigestion like the op did. Sounds lovely.

Also ops post was about small children, surely you are not advocating your routine for small children too!

scubadive What is your problem? I have two young kids. One is five and the other is four. We didn’t have Christmas dinner until about five, they certainly didn’t starve ffs. Also, if your kids can’t snack and still enjoy a Christmas dinner then that doesn’t sound good or your Christmas dinner isn’t that good? My four year old is tube fed so she had her routine of milk and yoghurts etc and then had some mashed potato with us when dinner was ready, even she managed to finish her bowl and loved every minute of it. The five year old had snacks and chocolate throughout the day as well as a big bowl of cereal after opening presents, didn’t go hungry and still enjoyed her Christmas dinner. Your routine sounds bloody weird if I’m honest.

Resisting mince pies, chocolates, Xmas cake otherwise won’t enjoy dinner. Then go to bed on a full stomach and get indigestion like the op did. Sounds lovely.

Oh no, nothing like that.

Brunch was potatoes O'Brien, sage sausage, rashers, scrambled eggs, OJ, coffee/tea, toast and cinnamon rolls.

Throughout the day we had prosciutto, smoked salmon, crackers/bread, leftover cinnamon rolls and rashers from breakfast, a bottle of beer or two or glass of wine, cookies and chocolates as and when anyone felt like nibbling, and still managed to polish off a plateful each of roast beef, roast potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, carrots, Brussels sprouts with a balsamic and mustard glaze, home made gravy, croissant style rolls, stuffing, and a glass or two of wine, with dessert about an hour after dinner consisting of tiramisu and/or pumpkin pie with sweetened whipped cream.

This is how Christmas has always been in my home, though I used to roast a turkey. We got a bit tired of turkey twice in about four weeks (we have one at Thanksgiving). My family (five DCs) have always eaten dinner between 7 and 8 and Christmas is no exception.

I've had indigestion twice in my life, never at Christmas. Or Thanksgiving - another big roast dinner day.

I didn't see this thread before christmas. I definitely wouldn't accept an invitation to a Christmas meal where the kids aren't welcome. if you stay a couple of nights then you can have a nice adults-only dinner on Christmas eve or boxing day.

next year don't try to make your dad have a personality change. just make the arrangements to host a family-friendly Christmas either at your place or your brother's (if sleeping space is limited look on airbnb from ~July for somewhere appropriate to sleep within walking distance of one or other house.). let dad know he is very welcome to join you but he will need to put up with kids at the meal table.