To request Xmas turkey served before 7pm

[askingaquestion1]

Going to Xmas at my Dad's. He wants us to eat our turkey meal at 7pm because I think he wants the kids to be in bed so his meal isn't disturbed by the cherubs. I'd like to eat with the kids as think it's an important family tradition plus 7pm is too late to eat such a heavy meal. Kids range from 5 to 3 months. He says not possible to eat 4.30ish as turkey won't be cooked before then. Has he got an exceptionally poor oven or a very large turkey? Or is it just an excuse?!

Well it's absolutely not what I would want to do, but it seems a bit late to start discussing this ?

Surely he knew you had dc before teatime on 23rd ?
Surely you were aware he wanted to sit down to a late evening meal rather than a mid day meal on Christmas day ?
Why didn't you discuss all this when you were deciding where to go / what to do ?

I couldn't be bothered with main meal at 7pm, it's too late. I'm not sentimental about stuff and don't let people dictate. Rather have my own Christmas than be subject to odd timings.

Perfectly normal to have Xmas dinner not lunch.

Are these cherubs particularly badly behaved?

We have our meal late atour own home and find it works well but if we were away we would happily eat our main Christmas meal at lunchtime or in the evening according to our host's preference and would even try to adjust the children's usual eat and sleep times to suit but we certainly wouldn't be accepting an invitation if our children weren't invited to the meal.

Could having the Christmas meal at the children's usual evening meal time be a compromise that includes everyone as he gets to eat later but th children are included

Even if the two oldest children miraculous go to bed by 7pm the baby is not going sleep through. More likely one of you will be up rocking a baby or feeding and the other supervising the other two or up and down trying to get them to sleep.

Well my kids would be hangry as fuck by then and probably be worse behaved.
I’d also be hangry and probably vile.

I wouldn’t have agreed to this in the first place though, I actually like my children and enjoy being with them I’d cook at home then go to his later and nibble. But I would tell him that’s what we were doing, to be fair

What a miserable old cunt

lol exactly.

Miserable git. 7pm for me is fine for normal dinner but too late for Christmas dinner. By 7pm I’m into the leftovers.

Some sympathy with your father. 80% of the day can be child-centric. They'd rather be playing with toys than having a slap-up meal anyway. The last few hours of the day can be for the adults.

if you believe half of what is written on MN don't, half of the posters will stay in their Christmas pjs and watch tv all day anyway, so am not sure why serving the children their diner earlier would make such a difference

I wouldn’t be going either. Trip to the supermarket, lunch at yours. Job done.

Some people don't like to go to bed on a full stomach.

Just about everyone over 30 falls asleep after their Christmas meal. It makes a lot more sense to do that at midnight than at 4pm!

I come from outside the UK and our Christmas dinner is religiously at 6PM not 5:59 or 6:01. And then we open presents after dinner and have desert at around 9/10pm.

Even as kids. Never understood the too late to have dinner. Even my 11 month old doesn’t eat until 8pm most days.

Just about everyone over 30 falls asleep after their Christmas meal. It makes a lot more sense to do that at midnight than at 4pm!

We don't and again, some people don't like to go to bed on a full stomach. It's a weird time to eat a big meal like that. Do you all just starve yourselves all day for it?

Christmas dinner is a family meal surely, and it would be a shame for the kids not to get Christmas dinner.

7pm would have just meant my 5yo was fractious and getting tired but not actually in bed yet. So not a great idea really.

I have to say I couldn't wait til 7 for my Christmas dinner either

Hi so I'm the OP. The kids actually should (!) go to bed at 7pm as it's their usual time and will be tired. Mine is the 5 year old only just 5 -but has been sleeping 11.5 hours since starting school. (Much improved from before!!!) My bro has the 3 year old and 3 month old. I also have a 15month old. I'd say the kids behave ok. All kids are used to eat with their parents early so know about table manners. My oldest will want to be involved in the conversation and won't sit there quietly whilst adults have an adult conversation but then I get annoyed if my dinner companions have a conversation I can't contribute to. My 15 month eats very well but occasionally throw food if he doesn't like it. But that's rare.
I think the issue is both my brother and I like eating early as a family with our kids but my dad wants a very civilised affair. We are also so used to eating earlier so fear indigestion for eating a full on Xmas dinner so late!
We live too far from my dad to just pop round for part of the day.
I think I might just have to suck it up for Xmas this year as too close and will cause a row but need to put my foot down earlier next year. (This year have adopted a softly softly approach since sept).

grisen, if you don’t open your presents until after dinner, what do kids do during the day? I’m curious, do they open their presents at 9 or 10pm then go to bed?

So your children are being left out of Christmas dinner?

I'd not go along with that. Christmas is a time for families being together regardless of age. Why are you going somewhere they aren't particularly welcome?

I'd have my Christmas dinner at lunch time and then do relative visiting after that. If relatives were too far away to do that, I'd either host or visit them on another day after Christmas.

Never understood the too late to have dinner. Even my 11 month old doesn’t eat until 8pm most days.

It's an English thing. My parents would ideally like to have their main meal at 11:30am. Eating is the evening is somehow regarded as a sign of laziness, decadent and "peculiar". A bit like topless sunbathing, watching BBC2 or voting LibDem

It seems a bit churlish of him.

Compromise and eat at 6 with the children, or have a nice child friendly evening meal for them between 5 and 6 and then eat dinner proper at 8.

We have always had dinner between 7and 8, with Christmas no exception. I can't imagine packing away such a big meal any earlier. My DCs are night owls though.

Yanbu.
It sounds miserable waiting to eat that late. Late food and no dc's around .

I would be starving by 8pm! You'd hate our dinner time at 5.30!

We have ours in the evening but its generally just a main course and a light pudding (not christmas pud). The in laws think that is a dreadful time to eat, along with not having turkey...means they never come to us on Christmas Day. Its great

@Pfefferkuchen I like my dinner in the middle of the day and as someone has already said by 7 we are troughing the leftovers with pickles and supping Baileys but then again we are unashamedly dead common and uncivilised