To request Xmas turkey served before 7pm

[askingaquestion1]

Going to Xmas at my Dad's. He wants us to eat our turkey meal at 7pm because I think he wants the kids to be in bed so his meal isn't disturbed by the cherubs. I'd like to eat with the kids as think it's an important family tradition plus 7pm is too late to eat such a heavy meal. Kids range from 5 to 3 months. He says not possible to eat 4.30ish as turkey won't be cooked before then. Has he got an exceptionally poor oven or a very large turkey? Or is it just an excuse?!

Christmas dinner in the evening is fine

Not having the main Xmas meal with your grandchildren and not wanting your children to be able to have Xmas meal with their kids - weird. I imagine the parents of any babies, esp the 3 month old might well be excluded too at that time.

Formal dinner parties are for the other 365 days of the year.

If his oven’s that bad he can put it in the night before. Many people do turkey overnight in an aga.

‘His house his rules’ is only for people who have no manners or consideration for their guests.

If he invited you all over for a family Christmas he should provide a family Christmas meal. If he doesn’t want to eat with the children, that’s fine, then he can invite you round for afternoon tea instead!

(yes oven = excuse)

because I think he wants the kids to be in bed so his meal isn't disturbed by the cherubs

The OP guesses he doesn't want the kids at the meal. She hasn't actually heard him say it

'kids range...' implies you have at least 3, one of which is a baby. What makes your dad think the house will be peaceful in this situation?

the childfree don't eat at nursery hours but obviously children do, and so do those who will be up at 5 with the baby. Something has to give.

I just wouldn’t go either. It sounds like your children would be left out of one of the most important bits of the day.

Of course its unreasonable to want a child free dinner on Xmas Day when you're inviting people with young children.

And 7p.m is far too late for Christmas dinner.

What does he expect the 5 year old to eat? Beans on toast? I couldn't imagine not having a family meal at Christmas of all times.

Has he said what he thinks the children will be getting to eat, @askingaquestion1? It would be really sad if they didn’t get a special meal too, imo.

I’d go with it. It sounds like a good plan.
Have a high tea with the kids when you want it. There is no reason everyone can’t join in and have fun. It can be nice an informal - much better for tired kids. Have crackers etc. Then have an adults meal later. The kids won’t even realise they are being ‘left out’.

Last year Gdcs were only 2 1/2 and 3 3/4 - we had dinner at 5, it was fine.

Will do the same this year. They won't eat much, will soon want to get down and play or watch TV, but will enjoy it for a while - and of course the crackers.

I don't know what your FiL means about the turkey not being cooked.

Even a big turkey would not entail getting up at anything like the crack of dawn to have it ready for about 5.

We've had Christmas dinner at 5 ish for years - far less of a rush for the cook.

Things change once you have kids and Xmas day is about the kids and spending time with loved ones. I would not be to happy about excluding the dc for the Christmas meal like that.

ps I am always amazed that people can sit down to dinner at 9pm when it’s been dark since 4 and some of us have been awake since 5am

some of us have breakfast AND lunch before diner, and have electricity and/or gas at home so don't have to go to bed when it gets dark outside, it helps

Seems harsh. But then I hate all this feed the kids something beige before hand then have your dinner when kids are in bed. Xmas is probably the one time a year where most people unless they are emergency service or hospital staff are all off. Seems such a shame to not include them. But then in my house we only bother with xmas for the kids. If it was just me and dp it would be pizza and a movie.

Of course he can do it earlier turkeys dont take all day to cook.

Well you can ask for it to be earlier on the basis that you will be keeping the kids up to join in the meal, and they’ll probably be grumpy by then and will spoil his meal.

But then I hate all this feed the kids something beige before hand then have your dinner when kids are in bed.

why? We used to love that as kids - not going to bed, we were watching movies or playing or whatever, and my kids love it too. I don't know any child who is terribly happy to have to seat for hours at diner with adults, even when they haven't been given separate table, they tend to disappear after starters and come back for deserts anyway.

Adults meal are boring for children. they are boring for some adults too

What kind of miserable so called grandfather doesn’t want his grandkids included in Christmas dinner? It’s one of the most important parts of the day. You need to confirm with him the reasons for doing dinner so late.

What a miserable old cunt

But then I hate all this feed the kids something beige before hand then have your dinner when kids are in bed.

You can feed your kids early without feeding them beige food! Our son eats the same as us but we eat ours later with peace and quiet and a glass of wine.

I get heartburn at bedtime (10pm) if I haven't eaten by 6.30/7pm at the very latest, which doesn't make for a comfortable night.

Christmas Dinner is served around 2pm at ours. Plenty of time for breakfast, presents, the first alcoholic drink of the day, a bit of telly (as I'm surrounded by Heathens who think fresh air is an abomination) as the spuds are prepared, etc. Which leaves the rest of the afternoon to fall asleep before picking at stuff in the evening.

There's no point the kids being there if they aren't allowed to have the proper Christmas Dinner - they might as well stay at home and then go there for turkey sandwiches on the 26th.

See I hated the kids table. The adults can just spend hours at the table with cheese biscuits and poker later on when kids are in bed.

Theres no way I could sit with a nice meal while the kids ate freezer food.

But then my expectations have never been super high anyway. I would never expect them to sit for hours. Obviously you eoyod have to be realistic with the children and let them.get down after and go and watch a dvd.

I am always amazed that some people eat that early in this country. We are having a Christmas Eve dinner party and I don't think starters will be served before 9pm

Some people don't like to go to bed on a full stomach.

OP there's still time to sort out a dinner at home. Go visit for a couple of hours then bring them home for bedtime. You don't have to go.

I'd eat with the kids at home tell him you'll see him Boxing day

^totally.
Did he pack you off to bed and just eat Christmas dinner with your mum when you were small? Seems odd to invite family but then not want them to join in a family meal.

Christmas Dinner is served around 2pm at ours. Plenty of time for breakfast, presents, the first alcoholic drink of the day, a bit of telly (as I'm surrounded by Heathens who think fresh air is an abomination) as the spuds are prepared, etc. Which leaves the rest of the afternoon to fall asleep before picking at stuff in the evening

Same here, without the falling asleep.

If he wants a child free Christmas, he can have one - just don’t go. Christmas dinner is a family meal.

Whip round the shops tomorrow, you’ll be able to get everything.