Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

IMO this is an example of two problems in the UK.

1. Entry level jobs get shit pay. I know they're entry level, but a full time job ought to be paid a living wage.

1. Too many people are doing degrees. Degrees in themselves are not necessarily a good thing. There should be fewer people going to university and more people doing apprenticeships or other vocational training. And fewer pointless degree subjects (the ones which are neither academically demanding nor useful in the working world).

70k at that age? She's clearly a hard worker so well done to her. Your daughter didn't really chose a degree that was useful if she can't find a job relating to it, why don't she go back and get a masters degree and see if that gets her further than what she's currently doing? Seems a shame to waste 3 years of education

Need to point out that I was also working for a financial service call centre at 26 and by 35 was earning six figures for an investment bank. I didn’t have a degree but did have motivation - hopefully your dd sorts herself out soon OP

YANBU to wish your DD was paid well for her hard work, or even to privately feel angry. However, unless you're going to take this up with the employer, there's nothing you can do.

I do think your friend was unreasonable to tell you about her DD's salary. Why is it anyone's business but her DD's?

My cousin is as thick as a brick but a damned hard worker. She went into a factory at 16. I went to university and then did other academic style stuff

I teach now, she's in admin. Earns loads more than me, has a detached house. I'm in a rented flat. Not jealous of her, or think the money she's earned is disgusting. That would make me a right bitch.

You are very strange OP but at the same time should maybe be encouraging your daughter to look for a better job. Most of us did "menial" jobs during and after university. Not all of us settled there and allowed it to turn us into the green eyed monster. I worked in a shop for three years and brought home less than £100 a week.

What was her degree in?

@Pfefferkuchen I 'm talking about the CEOs that get millions for top jobs rather than the middle layer like the friend' s dd. The sort of job that gets a million pound bonus even when the company is doing badly.

70k? Yeah I’ll believe it when I see it.

Different roles therefore different compensation. Makes sense, no?

I actually think it’s great that the company is judging your friend’s daughter on merit, rather than what she did in school and kudos to her for working her way up through hard work and achieving something good for herself at 26

Instead of being jealous why not focus this negative energy into something positive

You sound bitter. I say well done. A degree doesn’t guarantee success and it’s about time young people started to realise this.

There is nothing unjust about it. Your friends DD has many years of actual work experience that your daughter lacks.

Professional on the job qualifications are worth more in a specific industry than a generic degree.

Your DD just needs to work hard and find a job where she'll be exposed to more opportunities.

I never went to uni but I got a job as a banking cashier at the age of 17 and I worked my way up to a financial advisor by the time I was 23. I've had my own property (without parents help) at the age of 18 because of my life choices.

Nothing about the World is fair. Babies starving in Africa IS NOT FAIR, children seeing bombs going off in their neighbourhood IS NOT FAIR, women not having access to sanity wear IS NOT FAIR. Your DD not earning enough money compared to your friends DD is called life!!

GET OVER IT!!!!!!!

My grandson is doing very well in his job whereby he changed his mind about going to Uni and instead started at the bottom of a company.

He has done sheer physical demanding hard work for 18 months and now has had a big promotion and a large pay rise. He deserves it.

Uni does not ensure an easy, well paid ride through life. Life is about pure effort and determination, being conscientious, being loyal to the workplace and commitment most of the time.

I would advise apprenticeships personally.

Who needs enemies when you’ve got friends like you OP?

So you haven't mention what your Dds degree is in

Why cant your DD work her way up?

Higher positions look "easy" but come with a shed load of responsibility

I worked in a call centre environment when I bought my house. Because I didn't piss money down the drain at uni or by renting..

OOOh! The jealousy is strong in this one!

Well done on your friend's DD working her way up! Too many people think that university means that you'll get high wages straight away.
Everyone should start at the coal face and work their way up.
That's the only way to sort out the workers from the wasters!

it sucks that your daughter is not flying high despite having done all the rights things. i understand. a lot of people are in your DDs position at 26 and even 36!

going against the grain, i dont think you sound bitter but more disappointed that things haven't worked out for your DD.

you also sound unaware of how business works. people who make money, save money, have specialist skills and manage risk are in demand.

day to day routine skills that everyone has are not specialist and wont be paid as much.

life is not fair and some people are in the right place at the right time with the right experience. its a combination of hard work and luck.

your DD needs to decide what will improve her prospects for the long term and commit.

Free market.

Everyone earns what they can.

If your DD thinks she’s worth more she can always move jobs to one that pays better.

I’ll bet you felt superior that your daughter was at university studying for a degree and your friends daughter didn’t and now you can’t be anywhere near as smug.

With a friend like you she won’t need enemies

In general the differences in salaries in the UK are disgusting. I say this as a 26yo high earner.

But you seem very angry that this woman is young and successful in spite of not having a degree. Sounds to me like she is highly competent, driven and savvy personally.

Yes it's wrong that low wage workers are exploited. We should all earn more equal salaries. But you don't seem to have an issue with the system in general, rather that someone you deem unworthy has benefited.

Haven't you got any presents to wrap OP?

Senior Management Data Protection role vs call handler. Can you not see there is a significant difference in the roles, responsibility and accountability? It doesn't matter how they got there, there is no one path to success.

Your dd might be working hard but her dd is working smart. Saying she probably doesn't do a lot just makes you sound bitter.

Your dd has a degree which puts her at an advantage. What is she doing about it?

It took my niece, with a first class honours degree, nearly 2 years of working in a call centre while constantly applying for ANY role with prospects, or researching any companies and sending CVs out splatter gun approach before she landed a graduate role, even then it was only by chance. She got an interview for an apprentice civil engineer with a very basic salary and when there they looked at her CV and said wait a minute you have a first class honours degree we have something else that might suit you better and she got a job that wasn't even advertised. She now earns a great salary with a company car and benefits.

A bit of it is luck, but luck wont come looking for her she needs to be working hard at finding something, and not stop, and she will get there.

I'm in data protection and this makes me happy that there are some great paying jobs in my future. I can imagine at her level that she has a hell of a lot of pressure and responsibilities for the companies data protection. It is in no way an easy job that anyone can walk into having done the qualifications, the 10 years of experience has probably had more to do with it.

Welcome to Tory Britain

Yes, a country where people can leave school at 16 and reach a highly paid senior position with ambition and hard work. Sounds pretty good to me.

Pfefferkuchen

There are companies that restrict pay between highest & lowest paid, Canada and Spain both have a couple.

If you take the principal tha a pot washer is the lowest paid and general manager is the highest paid, if you take away the pot washers job as unimportant- how do you think the restaurant will run? Will guest be ok if there aren’t any dishes or plates to eat from?

Where pay scales are restricted, I do believe they found the companies were successful, it wasn’t detrimental to the company turn over