Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

Of your post is about how poorly call center workers are paid; the gross difference between top earners and everyone else; that salaries are in no way a reflection of the value to society of the services performed - YANBU.

I hope you voted for Corbyn and voted Remain, OP. If you didn’t, on either front, then not only are you naive you’re also a hypocrite.

That's life, I'm afraid.

Still time for your DD to retrain in another field, or take her career in a different direction.

I manage the graduate and apprenticeship programmes and recruitment at work and have recently taken the decision to stop taking grads and expand the apprenticeship programme.

At the end of a 4 year advanced apprenticeship programme, they are on £23k, just about to start a (free) degree and are absolute assets to the business.

The graduates on the other hand, rock up with no work experience and expect to be paid £25k plus. I had the one complain that an 20 year old apprentice was earning more than they were. His degree was worth nothing against 4 years experience and a great work ethic.

There are lots of higher and degree apprenticeships that offer amazing opportunities for bright young people and it's amazing for a 26 year old to be earning £70k. 10 years work experience and clearly very focused and hard working.

Very disingenuous on your part

surely this is a reverse? I can’t imagine anyone speaking in such a vile manner about a young woman who works hard and worked her way up to a good career? surely not?! Because if this is real, god help us all, there’s no fucking hope for humanity

Does the OP need 23 pages of being told they are unreasonable?

YABU in your attitude towards your friends daughter.
YANBU in thinking that a company that is able to give such benefits and pay to senior staff should be able to treat frontline staff much better.

Hmmm, I can see how unjust it seems but that is life.
There are lots of degrees that don’t automatically mean amazing pay. I’m a doctor, I’ve had no payrise in 5 years, current working standards are shit and my peers I went to Uni with who are dentists are taking in the ££££ for a lot less stress than me. No sour grapes here- but then I could never have spent a career looking in manky mouths!

"Does the OP need 23 pages of being told they are unreasonable?"

Do you know how AIBU works? 🙄

Is your friend winding you up ? Ppl tend to brag about their kids but not everything is as it seems .

If she really earns what your friend says , believe me she will not have an easy day at work , it will be high pressure and stressful .

Only read the OP so notwithstanding a mumma of a dripfeed over the next 23 pages... YABU and sound bitter & twisted; not the best look.

Try and forget about this and enjoy Christmas.

How dare she work hard and get qualifications and earn a good salary 🙄. Some people just aren’t academic. A degree doesn’t make you any better or any more entitled to earn money.

As someone whose career path was fairly similar to your friend's DD, I say good for her!

Carers get £9 a day.

Shes worked hard and moved up the business ladder. Get over yourself

If your DD up and quit her job she could easily be replaced by one of a hundred ready and willing and capable candidates. Little skill, knowledge or experience required for her entry level role (hence the low pay). It would be much harder to fill the data protection role and they must pay a competitive rate to someone who has lots of options and opportunities based on their skills, certifications and years of experience.

Anything is possible if you have drive and ambition. Your friend's dd seems to have more than your dd. I left school with nothing, studied as a mature student whilst working 50 hours a week, started at the bottom of the ladder and more than doubled my salary in 5 years, all during the recession.

Have you talked to your dd about what she actually wants in life and how she can achieve it? Maybe she doesn't want the responsibility of all the things you're sad she might not have...

You sound jealous and bitter. The woman has obviously worked hard - you don't get £70k for nothing!

I get your point op. Inequality in salary in this country is awful. 70k is more than the vast majority of people could ever hope to earn. The company needs everyone, including those in the call centre. Yes there should be reward for skills and responsibility, but it shouldn't be so much.

Yep,we all fall for the idea that the degree will be a golden ticket to a decent salary.

My DS had a good 2.1 in a non Mickey Mouse subject from a Russell group. He just couldn't land that graduate job, worked crap temp jobs, went travelling, dithered about doing a masters and ended up in a call center.

In two years he's had two promotions and is very much on a level with the grad scheme intake in terms of salary and opportunities.

Your girl just has to keep at it. Remember that it's not a race or a competition.

Hm. I am of the opinion that great divisions in income are immoral, and a sad indictment of a society where inequalities are set to continue to grow. All of our time is precious and should be remunerated fairly. I would love to see a society in which this was reflected in earnings. How much do people actually need to get by? My friend is a hospital cleaner; hardworking and conscientious, long hours of back-breaking, physically demanding labour in service of the important work taking place in the theatres and wards. Another friend is a city actuary, who is no doubt assessing risk just as conscientiously, while essentially serving corporation and capital. Salary difference approx £100k. Call me naïve, but I just don't see how one is worth that much more than the other.

It's nothing new. It's the age old difference between the Indians and the chiefs.

I’m so sick of this kind of shit. Life isn’t fair. Stop being so jealous.

It is ridiculous that someone doing an unskilled job with little responsibility ought to earn a similar amount to someone that invested a lot in their professional development and carries a lot of accountability. While I believe in fair wages and a decent minimum wage, I am sick and tired of people disrespecting someone’s professional achievements.

It's just the 'luck of the draw' in life and career choices.

I only have 12 GCSEs and 2 NVQs, I dropped out of A Levels and sadly said goodbye to going to uni. But I earn more than some friends with degrees, however it's taken me a while to get to where I am, from the bottom up.

It's all relative, so depends on where the skill gaps, what the market demand is, at that time.

Your daughter is young. She's plenty of time to earn more money.

Bear in mind the head start the other girl has had by being in employment all those extra years.

Stop fretting about others, it isn't healthy to worry about what others have / you don't have.