Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

Why are they not entitled to the same benefits that a senior manager working for the same firm is entitled to? Why are they not deserving of a parking space or as much annual leave?

Because that person is a senior manager whose qualifications and experience has elevated them to a position where the perks kick in. Why should every Tom, Dick and Harriet receive the same for a lesser role? You sound extremely bitter about this and I suspect it's more because you're disappointed in your daughter's choices.

Your very bitter and 26 is hardly just out of school. I’m married with three kids at 26.

I should point out that I have nothing against friend’s DD at all. I’m happy for her of course.

Hahahahaha! Yeah right

YABU to be jealous of your friend's DD. Data protection is a fairly difficult and technical field which many would find boring, so well done her for getting up the ladder.

YANBU to be annoyed about the conditions your daughter faces. I hope you voted sensibly and are vocal about workers' rights, especially in these insecure jobs.

As well as doing what you can to improve the lives of people in that type of employment (and encouraging your daughter to join a union), why don't you encourage her to upskill, apply for promotions, find a role that will train her up or use her skills, do an evening/distance course or similar that will improve her lot? Your daughter has a degree which brings some specific aptitudes that she could use or build on.

She’s senior and has worked very hard for the qualifications.

Sounds like your Dd took a quick job thought of it as a stop gap and got stuck. She needs to rethink her career. There is plenty of time.

and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!
But she's the same age as your daughter, so they've had precisely the same length of time to arrive at their current destinations.

Oh and data protection officer is a really difficult job with tonnes of responsibility. It's also a relatively new position in a lot of companies and one of those where even experienced finance professionals are finding themselves being leapfrogged over by newbies when it comes to recruitment because it requires a specific skillset recently acquired. So there is an element of luck in that she was working in a niche area which has suddenly become very much in demand but that's how employment works. The skills she has amassed now command a high salary. Your dd needs to do the same.

YABU, jealous, bitter and ridiculous.

I think that your friend’s daughter has done absolutely brilliantly and is an inspiration. What’s to stop your daughter trying to do better for herself?

Why are they not entitled to the same benefits that a senior manager working for the same firm is entitled to?

Why is someone who has not been working long in an entry level, unskilled position not entitled to the same benefits as a qualified senior manager who has been there a decade? Surely this is a wind up.

I'm sorry your daughter isn't having much luck after uni but your friend's DD's success is absolutely irrelevant to that situation.

If your daughter is 26, has she not also had the chance to work hard in this firm for around 3 years, too?

If she wanted to do law, she made a bad choice with Criminology and Law - as I don’t believe it’s a QDL (certainly isn’t with the OU, apologies if it is for her course?).

Unfortunately a degree, just any degree, is no longer a meal ticket for life.
The course has to be chosen carefully to lead into a potential career with real prospects.

Extremely bitter. Your daughter needs to move up the ladder if she wants to earn more. Could ask your friends daughter for advice

You’re being unreasonable. Don’t worry about what this girl is doing. It’s only relevant as a useful piece of information about what the market will pay for a particular skill set.

Now is the time for your daughter to focus on herself and take a good hard look at the job market. What can she retrain in that will pay decently down the road?

They may work for the same organisation but they do very, very different jobs.
You're being being very unreasonable

Ok, firstly this thread is embarassing.

You don't sound like much of a friend.

And data protection officer is quite a niche skill market and is in high demand these days. So £70k sounds about right for a senior position.

Your DD on the other hand is doing an unskilled job. Anybody, literally anybody with a bit of will, can pick up the phone. So her salary reflects that.

If she wants £70k, maybe she should talk to your friend's DD, what certification she did, etc. The world is never going to be fair, but in these days and age, most people have some opportunities to better themselves if they pick up themselves, stop grovelling and just do it.
I hope your DD has a better attitude than you.

OP, your daughter is replaceable. Your friends daughter will also be replaceable, but that will be harder to do, so the company pays more and offers additional benefits to keep the harder to replace staff.

Your daughter has stalled. Shes going to have to start again. In a way this is good, 26 is a good age to reassess and start looking at what career you fancy, with a few years of adult life experience behind you, was an age a lot of friends went back to uni to do post grads or started new career paths.

You say your unhappiness is about 'the unjust nature of this with regards to the way in which my DD is treated by her employer vs the pay and treatment which friend’s DD is going to be receiving from the same employer.'

Surely you understand that a role such as call handler is much less stressful/has far fewer responsibilities and is less relevant to the overall organisation than a senior data protection officer, and that's why your friend's dd is paid more? Under new GDPR regs, if a company is found to have broken data protection laws, they can face potential fines of up to 20 million, or 4% of global annual turnover whichever is higher. Can't you see why it would be worth paying a good salary and giving a free parking space in order to get the best candidate to avoid that happening? They are paying your friend's dd for her relevant qualifications and experience, both of which she has, and your daughter doesn't. Don't see how you can possibly resent that?

Your DD isn't getting as much annual leave or as many benefits because she is replaceable. It's an entry level role. Your friends DD, whilst also replaceable, isn't as replaceable.

She seemingly has more ambition than your DD. If yours doesn't sort it out soon she will have no chance in pursuing a law career without further training.

I'm in a similar position to your friends DD. I'm older but have worked my way up. Most of those with degrees in my workplace seem to work in lower grade administration roles whilst those that are more senior have worked their way up.

I think there’s two different issues here. The first is that call centres generally don’t pay a proper living wage and it’s hard to see people struggling. The second is that you’re envious on your daughters behalf and you’re doing the friend down, maybe out of frustration, I don’t know.

Step back, give the friend the credit she’s due for working her way up.

You’re annoyed because someone made different life choices and their salary has turned out better. Plus you think your daughter is immediately entitled to a higher salary because she has a degree. Not how the world works! Would hate to have a friend as jealous and bitter as you.

** Why are they not entitled to the same benefits that a senior manager working for the same firm is entitled to? Why are they not deserving of a parking space or as much annual leave? We are living in sad times if this level of inequality in the workplace is widely considered acceptable.

If your mates DD was 20 yrs older and a man I doubt you’d be saying any of this

And I just read this gem Why are they not deserving of a parking space or as much annual leave? We are living in sad times if this level of inequality in the workplace is widely considered acceptable.

Have you been a SAHM your whole life or maybe live on Mars? The real world doesn't work that way.

You know what's worst😮
I was taking a bit of a piss here assuming it's 99% chance of it being fake.

And then I realised I know people like that 😮 I had people moan to me how unfair it is that they are not progressing at work and then revealing that they clock on always on time, took no extra courses or anything and refused the chance to go to funded company voluntary training because "It's just gonna be boooooring"...

But yeah. Life is unfair, innit...

University isn't the be all and end all. Unless you need a degree for a specific career such as medicine, teaching and so on then a degree in a random subject is a waste of time.