Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

If the inequality pisses you off so much, surely the fact that nor everyone can go to uni must piss you off. Theres Inequality I that situation.

Seems you are ok with it, if it benefits dd..
You are old enough to have an adult daughter. You dont seem to understand that specialist roles have higher salaries and benefits.

I suggest your dd gets some proper career advice, as you dont seem to be able to help her, if you dont know how stuff works

My point is that DD and the rest of her colleagues work so very hard, for long hours, with very little reward. They are constantly told that they are replaceable and are generally not valued. Why are they not entitled to the same benefits that a senior manager working for the same firm is entitled to? Why are they not deserving of a parking space or as much annual leave? We are living in sad times if this level of inequality in the workplace is widely considered acceptable.

It is wrong for staff to be treated badly and told they are replaceable.

However, you are being, I suspect deliberately, ridiculous here. Obviously low level staff will not have same benefits! Why would someone work their arse off, studied extra and really went for it for 10 years to have same benefits as someone who didn't?

I get that law is super competitive so not everyone can get the training contract right after uni, but if you don't and want to work in law, you take any position as pp mentioned and keep applying. I assume she did her LPC. Some smaller firms actually hire as paralegal with a promise of training contract. They don't reallya dvertise it though. There are ways to get there.

Though if this is real, I suspect the daughter learned from mummy that rather than doing something about your own situation you go and moan about how someone else has it better🤷

Wow. 26 is hardly just out of school and she's obviously worked hard. Getting a degree isn't a guarantee of getting a well paid job.
You seem to have a negative view of your daughter, why do you think she'll never earn more or own a house?
Yabvvu and showing what a jealous person you are. I'm glad you're not my friend.

What the fuck??? Your friends daughter has worked her backside off and done very well so should be applauded. It isn't right people struggle but that's life. I have a degree and work low paid job but I don't resent people for their success you sound rotten

Why are they not entitled to the same benefits that a senior manager working for the same firm is entitled to? Why are they not deserving of a parking space or as much annual leave?

Because they haven’t spent ten years working and doing professional qualifications to get the skills and experience necessary to do a senior managerial role.

Your friend’s DD has skills and experience that are in demand and her role carries a high degree of responsibility - data is one of a company’s biggest assets and its biggest vulnerability.

Call centre staff work incredibly hard but they clock off at the end of the day and go home. There may be no decision making responsibility at all. Your friends daughter will more that likely be putting in at least 12 hour days , making decisions with multi-million pound consequences and be the point of contact for any emergencies. And it sounds as if she’s done her time and taken her chances when they’ve come.

God you sound so bitter! she has worked her way up from the age of 16 and is clearly well trained in her role.

I'm currently doing a degree and even I know having one doesnt guarantee you access to a great job.

It is tough for law graduates. DD has the LLB and a masters from a RG and spent 3 months applying for paralegal roles before being successful. She's also applying for vac schemes and training contracts and the competition is fierce.

From what I can see it's a numbers game, your DD might need to increase her volume of applications?

OP have you ever worked? Because it seems you have zero understanding of the working world.

I would be in awe of a 26 yo who has clearly worked very hard to get herself a good job on a good wage. She wasn’t just handed it fed.

Your DD sounds like she’s making excuses no one will give her a chance’ load of tosh!

Yes I think it's absolutely disgusting that your daughter isn't paid as much as someone that's slogged her guts out and worked her way up to become a subject matter expert from the bottom for the best part of a decade.

The sense of entitlement that just because you've got a random degree means you should earn more?!

Get a grip.

Most apprenticeships are very poorly paid for 16year old and you do understand that a 16year old will basically be doing a 40hour working week plus a day in college for less than probably £200 a week!
Good on her for slogging it out and working her way up from the very bottom with no starting qualifications and making it!! I'd say she probably deserves her £70K a year!

You are disgusted and furious that a senior management role in data protection in a financial services firm requiring professional qualifications and ten years’ experience is paid £70k while a call handler in the same organisation requiring neither gets so much less? Really?

Good on her for choosing an apprenticeship in such a key up-and-coming subject area, she chose well and has worked hard.

Your DD chose a degree in a very very competitive field and is struggling partially as a result of that. Rethinking might be sensible at this stage.

Swans in aka spends 10 years working her way up.
Barely does anything at all aka works on complex data protection projects that she's spent 10 years becoming qualified for
I really hope your jealousy and bitterness doesn't transfer to your daughter, as you're going to make life much more difficult for her if she has to carry am enormous chip in her shoulder

Wow! Sour grapes or what?!

I think you are a communist op without realising it!

OP, you are displaying a huge amount of ignorance (not mention bitterness). Pay levels generally equate to knowledge, experience, responsibility and accountability. Therefore, senior managers do earn more than call centre staff who generally work from highly regulated scripts.

I am afraid that a degree in Law and Criminology is not that much use in the business world. For a reasonably bright student, it is fairly easy to go from school to university, but that does not mean that they have what it takes to forge a good career. Really to make use of that degree your DD probably needs to do additional, more specialized study. Equally, the apprenticeship route tends to work very well with people who do have business aptitude. This is obviously the case for your friend's DD.

Call centres in Financial Services companies are usually closely monitored to identify recent graduates for candidates for professional development. So I hope your daughter is better informed and less bitter than you, so that she has a chance.

Why are they not deserving of a parking space or as much annual leave?

Well at my office, the people with parking spaces are very senior and work longer hours and weekends so they get the secure spaces. The holiday is just length of employment.

Well done that woman!

You could so easily have started a really interesting thread about pay differentials and attitude within a company.

Instead, you decided to be rude about her experience (10 years, several professional qualifications, rude about her “fancy” job and her “swanning”.

I expect that this woman is very hard working, and very smart. I expect that has she gone to a degree and your daughter chosen the apprentice your AIBU would have read:

“AIBU to think it’s unfair that some graduate with no experience just got a management trainee role, putting her on more money than my team lead daughter who has been there 10 years and worked her way up a level?”

Sometimes, we get some luck with our choices. Sometimes, people are really good and will do well whatever route they take.

Fair play to her!

Only assuming here that your DD wanted to be some kind of criminal lawyer? If she did, you'd best get used to the fact that its highly unlikely she'll ever earn anyway near £70k a year anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you were writing this 25 years ago when people were beginning to appreciate that a degree isn't necessarily the route to riches because anyone can get one, I'd be able to understand your feelings of frustration. Your daughter did what she thought was the right thing, got a qualification, likely worked hard and got into a lot of debt for it, and now she's finding that it's not doing her any favours. It's been that way for a long time though, so I'm unsure why you're aghast. Do you not work yourself, that you understand so little about contemporary employment opportunities?

My point is that DD and the rest of her colleagues work so very hard, for long hours, with very little reward. They are constantly told that they are replaceable and are generally not valued. Why are they not entitled to the same benefits that a senior manager working for the same firm is entitled to? Why are they not deserving of a parking space or as much annual leave? We are living in sad times if this level of inequality in the workplace is widely considered acceptable

Bollocks. Your thread title says it all. You are embarrassed that your friends DD is at the same workplace as your DD and earns so much more and has done so much better.

Why are you saying she is barely out of school when she has been training for this role for ten years and is very qualified.

Do you think everyone in an organisation should earn the same amount? Or just people you feel in competition with?

I have a funny feeling the other side of this would be "My friend has gloated over me for years about her DDs university success whilst my DD "only managed an appreniticeship, poor thing" ..........

The difference is the responsibility.
If your daughter makes an error, at worst they possibly lose a lead.
If the other makes an error on DP it can cost someone millions.

You can't compare a baker with a surgeon.
Both fulfil a different need.

And your DD can’t do extra qualifications and look for more senior roles because ....... ???

You sound quite bitter. THe other girl has clearly worked hard to get where she is. Good for her.

I should point out that I have nothing against friend’s DD at all. I’m happy for her of course.

This is obviously bullshit and you are seething with envy. What is stopping your DD doing extra training? Or is she only good for whining like her mother?

and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!

Total rubbish, I had been working ten years by the time I was 26.

I'm cringing with embarrassment on your behalf.

So these board pre Christmas are full of strange things. I sometimes feel the holidays and stress bring out loads of reverses, Attempts to wind people up etc. Or - if this indeed is genuine- then shame on you OP. But then again....