Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

"who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Oh do fuck off, OP.

At 26 I was a national Health & Safety manager for a similar company and inc bonus probably earned close to your friend's DD. I started working there at 18 as a call centre agent and worked my way up, worked for my qualifications while working full time and eat slept and breathed that company for a decade. And guess what, I don't have a degree 🤷‍♀️ because they generally mean fuck all unless you're already in the job they're relevant to.

Your Daughter is the only one responsible for her progression in life.

Get a fucking grip you absolute bitter crank.

This can't be serious. Who actually thinks everyone who works for th same company should be paid the same, irrelevant of the role they perform.

So she started at the bottom and worked her way up?

Yet your daughter didn’t do the same. Yet you expect her to be paid the same? For less years there?

And this is why I tell my DD not to bother with Uni unless it's essential for the career she wants.

@Bluntness100 never have I stated that they should be paid the same. What I have said is that I believe the gap between the highest and lowest paid should not be so wide within one company and that the same benefits should be made available to all staff.

Op, im not going to go into the horrendous jealousy that your post is dripping with, dressed up as faux concern for inequality.

What does your DD actually want to do with her degree? Does she want to become a solicitor or does she have her sights set elsewhere? (Genuine question, I'm a solicitor with a law degree yet few of my friends decided not to qualify after their law degrees and have gone into other areas and are doing very well too so I may be able to suggest some ideas for your DD"s advancement if she has any ideas.

Incidentally, my DH did an apprenticeship at 18 and has been earning the amount I do now since he was 22. He still out earns me, having been a highly skilled manual worker for 13 years with industry qualifications and experience, and I suspect he always will, although I'm a 3 year pqe solicitor, granted I don't have further aspirations right now for career development.

Blimey, OP! You just keep making yourself sound worse with each post. Who would expect an entry level employee to have the same benefits as someone who has been there for 10 years?

My dd's friend did a law degree and worked extremely hard after she got her first, doing a lot of voluntary work in the field. She's just turned 25 and is on £60k. Your dd needs to apply herself if she wants to use her degree.

Envy is the thief of joy

I think it’s all about the car parking space.

Because your daughter is replaceable. If they don't offer her a good enough offer and she leaves they'll have someone else in her seat tomorrow.

Your Friends DD speciality is probably more in demand. So it would be harder to find the right candidate. They need to be wooed.

Your daughter chose the wrong degree. Now she needs to work her shit out.

Having worked as a secondary teacher for 28 years until 2015, I saw many many young people encouraged to go to university when this would not necessarily lead to a good job.

I can understand how you feel, but you do come off as jealous, and transferring your disappointment for your daughter onto your friend's DD, which is not going to help anyone.

I personally blame Tony Blair whose policies encouraged the massive expansion in Universities grabbing as many students as possible with little regard to value for money for them in the long run.

What I have said is that I believe the gap between the highest and lowest paid should not be so wide within one company and that the same benefits should be made available to all staff.

Why? Your odds job is important to the company. But it doesnt take much to train someone to do it. The friend has been working 10 years and her experience cant be trained in a few weeks.

Salary alone doesnt keep employees that you would struggle to replace. Which is why perks are important and given to staff they can not easily replace.

I can understand your frustration at this situation and maybe your daughter could have applied for the same apprenticeship post degree.
To be fair, there are still many roles in many industries where only a degree will suffice.

My husband’s line of work is degree only and no apprenticeships are available for his job , as it requires many years of experience alongside a degree and so ultimately your daughter may go on to a role that supersedes your friend’s daughter’s.

I think you’ll just have to suck it up for now and maybe your daughter needs to rethink her current role.
What’s your daughter’s degree in? Why did she apply for a call centre job if she has a degree? Is her degree relevant?

I’m sorry that you’re getting flamed OP... I’d probably feel the same as you if I’m completely honest.

OP you really cannot be this dim. Do you work yourself? Have you ever worked?

There probably isn't the right IT for a call centre worker to work from home DD wouldn't get that benefit. If there are 50 parking spaces and 300 staff then everyone cannot have a space.

Employers offer enhanced salaries and benefits packages to get the staff that are difficult to recruit. It is basic demand and supply. Do you get this?

Do you sit at home wondering why it costs so much more to holiday in Hawaii than Blackpool?

This is why uni isn’t the be-all and end- all and I wouldn’t encourage my children into it unless they wanted a specific job roll

I wonder what extra curricular activities your DD did not do during uni... You can have first from great RG uni, but if you have done nothing else, you will lose out to people who did...

OP, is either winding us up or not very bright.

I really hope that your daughter isn’t aware of your attitude.

What do you do for a living op?

Having a degree does not make you more employable nor more able in a lot of cases. nor are they superior to professional qualifications

As a disclaimer there are degrees that are more useful than others

What degree and result did your daughter get btw

Your friends daughter has worked hard to gain professional qualifications no doubt at a financial&emotional cost to herself and your begrudging her her salary which is deserved and has been worked for?

It's not her fault your daughter is on a much lower rung of the ladder unfortunately and doesn't have the same qualifications.

Is your daughter actively searching for an alternative job with a better salary and hours?

I should point out that I have nothing against friend’s DD at all. I’m happy for her of course.

I’d hate to think what your thoughts towards your friends daughter would be if you weren’t happy for her or just a teeny bit annoyed 😒 .

To all the people saying they advise DC not to go to university and not to do an arts subject, this isn't always the case. I work in a very lucrative industry (tech) and I wouldn't be allowed to interview anyone for a role without a degree (marketing department) even if it's irrelevant to the job they would still expect it, usually linked to their expectation of how well you can write. A junior marketing exec would usually start on £22k but this can quickly rise, I was on £60k at 25. My degree was history so not vocational at all.

I don't personally believe this should be the case, when I was hiring I would have happily taken an 18 year old and trained them but I wasn't allowed.

You are hilarious OP. A degree does not guarantee a better pay scale ... sounds like your daughter did a degree that does not have a lot of jobs available and she isn't doing well in interviews. I'm far more impressed with your friends DD working her way up. You sound like a brat. Maybe your daughter is as bad, who knows, but you aren't helping her.

I believe the gap between the highest and lowest paid should not be so wide within one company and that the same benefits should be made available to all staff.

So do you think your DD should be getting paid more for her unskilled, entry level job, or that your friends DD should get less for her highly skilled, highly experienced role?

OP do you work? I find your views on the workplace odd to say the least and I can't figure out if it's genuine, or because you're trying to backtrack to not sound so bad after receiving a pretty unanimous YABU verdict.

You said yourself your DD friend started working at 16 and has completed loads of qualifications! No one forced your Daughter to do a degree with little job propects!! Good for her friend, such an odd thing to be angry about