Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

You sound a bit bitter tbh.

Your friends dd is obviously ambitious and has taken steps to further her career. If your dd wanted to she could find herself opportunities. Surely there must be other employers who pay better, courses she could do to further herself in a field she’s interested in? She doesn’t have to just plod along in a call centre for ever more.

Having a degree isn’t the be all and end all and your dd isn’t entitled to earn more than your friends dd just because she has one. Your friends dd has relevant experience and has a lot of vocational qualifications under her belt, I would suspect that some of them at least are degree level.

Be a good friend and be happy for her dd, her hard work has paid off, good for her. Stop moaning and support your dd to find a career she is happy with too.

Life isn't fair, get over it.

Your daughter is qualified for other jobs of she applies.

I hope your daughter doesn’t sense your disappointment in her.

Maybe your daughter isn’t working hard enough

Really???? They took different paths & have ended up in different situations. It is what it us. Both worked hard but that's just life. You're coming across as very bitter & unpleasant.

Is this a stealth boast and the girl on 70k is actually your daughter?

Your DD needs to be a go getter and "not settle" if a higher income is important to her.

At the moment she's just accepting her lot, and in that case, people will step over her to get what they want. What is your DD going to do about that?

I agree with @PooWillyBumBum, I also googled and noticed the universities which offer that subject are mainly pretty mediocre.

Your DD needs to be applying for junior roles in the compliance / legal / project departments and aiming to work her way up too. She could also demonstrate her commitment by doing the professional qualifications that’s your ‘friend’s’ DD by self study.
Maybe then she’ll be able to claw her way out of the low paid job and your jealously will abate.
I’m encouraging my DS to do an apprenticeship too- a degree is a gamble these days and may be an expensive millstone.
I really hope this is a reverse btw.

A degree isn't an automatic path. Depends on the type of degree. Personality goes a long way too (not being disparaging of your DD).

Is this a reverse?

Success in life is about luck and hard work, your friends DD's had a bit of both. Fair play to her, she must deserve the salary, companies don't just give it away!

Your daughter has loads of time to catch up if she is driven enough.

What’s happened here is that OP’s dd has followed the traditional route to a “good” job and has run into the coal-face of an anti-intellectualism that’s prevalent and has been building for some time. Further, there’s an oversupply of graduates who’ve been fed into the system to make sausages, incurring debt along the way

OP’s friend’s dd has been fortunate enough to have accessed a great opportunity and training - and she’s embraced it, fair play to her!
I can’t blame OP for being bitter. But I believe a good education stands to you over a lifetime.

I thought you were going to reveal that her DD was being paid minimum wage. YABU. Good for her, maybe she could give your DD some pointers.

What degree did your dd do?

Apprenticeship to £70k is great!

DD can’t gain experience in her chosen field as no one will give her a chance!

I did a lot of voluntary work in my chosen field. One of those led to my first relevant job.

You sound very jealous. And a 26 year old woman is not "barely old enough to be out of school". I'm a 26 year old, married, home-owning solicitor. Am I barely old enough to have left school too?

My point is that DD and the rest of her colleagues work so very hard, for long hours, with very little reward. They are constantly told that they are replaceable and are generally not valued. Why are they not entitled to the same benefits that a senior manager working for the same firm is entitled to? Why are they not deserving of a parking space or as much annual leave? We are living in sad times if this level of inequality in the workplace is widely considered acceptable.

Unbelievable post, I would be ashamed if I was you OP.

There is a lot of completion in many fields these days OP. If your daughter is trying to get a training contract, for example (because you said her degree is in Law), there is a lot of competition and those with experience might have a better chance but there are ways to get experience. Paralegal roles is one way. There are also other ways to qualify such as CILEX. I’m familiar with the legal industry as you may gather but expect the principal is the same in other areas - your DD might need to try a bit harder but there is an element of luck involved too. That’s just life.

Your daughter picked a dime a dozen degree which you don't need great a levels to do so what did she expect?

I was your dds friend, post kids I couldn’t return to my job as it’s very unfamily friendly. So now I’m screwed as I don’t have that degree to convert into something else. I couldn’t afford uni at 18 and certainly can’t afford it now.
She’s done well, just a different route. Life is a long time.
Put it this way, I can’t afford a pension or house now

Why are they not entitled to the same benefits that a senior manager working for the same firm is entitled to? Why are they not deserving of a parking space or as much annual leave?

OP do you really not understand that different roles attract different levels of benefits??

You sound absolutely awful, so jealous and bitter.

Wow.
I have literally just joined mumsnet to post on this thread. What an absolutely envious and bitter thing to say. So your friend’s daughter has worked her way up to a senior role over 10 years and has done comprehensive on the job training, your daughter has completed a 3 year undergrad degree (though, interestingly you don’t say what in) and is doing an entry level job, but you think it’s unfair that they’re not paid a similar wage?

Absolute madness!