Feeling disgusted by friend’s DD’s salary

[DisgustedParent]

Best friend’s DD is the same age as mine (26) and we’ve known each other since both DD’s were born. My DD went off to uni but struggled to find a job after her degree and has ended up working in a call centre (financial services) where she is paid very poorly, has to work unsociable hours and is not treated well by management at all. It’s awful to watch her struggling to get by after rent and bills, knowing that despite working long hours, she may never own a property of her own or be able to afford to do all of the things she wants to do in life. My friend knows all about DD’s struggles and my worries for her as we are very close.

Her DD went straight in to an apprenticeship after school at 16 and landed herself in a role in Data Protection. Over the years she’s completed all sorts of professional certifications in the field and worked her way up, but never did a degree. I hear today from my friend that she has just accepted a senior management data protection role at the same large financial firm where my DD works. Friend has gleefully told me that her DD will be earning an eye watering £70,000 per year along with all sorts of benefits such as home working, health insurance, allocated parking... all of which of course aren’t available to my DD despite working for the same employer.

AIBU in feeling absolutely furious about this on DD’s behalf and thinking that there is something so very wrong about a company which pays its front line workers the absolute minimum, with no benefits whatsoever, whereas those with more ‘fancy’ job roles who probably don’t do an awful lot at all (and friend’s DD at 26 is still barely old enough to be out of school!) get to swan in to the company earning an astronomical amount, with lots of benefits on top too. Friend’s DD has already bought a house, has a brand new car, is always on holiday and draped in designer clothes. Meanwhile my DD and the rest of her call centre colleagues are threatened with redundancy regularly and are frequently told that salaries will not be increased as cuts have to be made.....How can this be justified?!

Is your dds degree relevant to the job??

My son is in a similar situation, did arts in Uni because he didn’t know what to do.

His degree will stand to him but not in a call center and he STILL doesn’t know what he wants to do (23)

Some kids are more clued in and savvy, I think the friends dd is one of them.

YABU to compare what sound like very different people. I also don’t think you’re much of a friend.

You sound so bitter and twisted OP.

She’s not at all happy in the call centre and is regularly applying for other opportunities, in particular, those which are relevant to her degree. Each time she’s up against a huge pool of candidates and the role is always given to someone else with experience. DD can’t gain experience in her chosen field as no one will give her a chance!

I hope it's a reverse otherwise you are bitter as fuck!

And if she has a degree in criminology and law why is she in a call centre? I don't believe for a minute she couldn't have got a job in her own field.

I'm not sure how much experience you have of the world of work.

Don't diss the call centre job. I work in a large FTSE100 with large call centres. Many of those on the graduate scheme applied successfully from a role in the call centre ( they already have a good understanding of the business and its customers). And they usually have masters degrees too.

So please encourage your daughter to see this as entry level and an opportunity to work her way up in the company to that salary- I've seen it happen many times. But only to those with the right attitude...

Sounds like there is good prospects in the company so I would put my head down do every qualification they allow and put my hand up for all extras

She’s doing a completely different job...?

The advantage of an apprenticeship is you are trained to do a role and progress. You stand out because you are an apprentice. You have access to mentoring. You usually gain a qualification at the same time. Going to uni and getting a low level job doesn't really impress anyone. So right from the off your Dd is at a disadvantage. I got my degree and post grad whilst working full time, started as a YTS. Much better way to get ahead imo. If you DD isn't progressing that is more to do with her than your friends DD

Quite surprised at all the vitriol going the OP's way on this thread. It's well known that there are massive pay gaps in companies and the more ethical ones try to reduce those gaps (not gender pay gap - between lowest and highest paid).

Call centre staff have to put up with a load of rubbish.

Data protection is all the rage, but front line staff are surprisingly poorly trained in it, so hopefully the OP's friend's dd will do something useful to earn her generous salary.

However I agree with the recent pp who asks why, if your dd has a degree in criminology and law, she can't get a job in that field. Yes it's difficult to train as a solicitor but there are a lot of allied jobs such as eg data protection compliance where you don't necessarily need to be legally qualified.

The OP is right to be annoyed at the pay gap, but her dd isn't stuck in that job.

Each time she’s up against a huge pool of candidates and the role is always given to someone else with experience. DD can’t gain experience in her chosen field as no one will give her a chance

Voluntary work in a CAB, law centre, working for Lawworks?

She’s not at all happy in the call centre and is regularly applying for other opportunities, in particular, those which are relevant to her degree. Each time she’s up against a huge pool of candidates and the role is always given to someone else with experience. DD can’t gain experience in her chosen field as no one will give her a chance!

Well she spent the last 2-3 years in a call centre and not progressed. Not pursued further qualifications. Didnt follow her friends example.

She is now competing against people fresh out of uni or people with experience.

Just having a degree means nothing.

Yabu, jealous and sound ridiculous.

Your DD is letting herself down, no one owes her a career or big salary she needs to earn it and work for it.

I started in a frontline call centre role at 17, then became a team leader, floor manager and so on. I'm now on 50k and in line for an increase to 65K by March.

I did t stay in the same role more than 2 years, just kept climbing. The longer she stays frontline, not using her degree the less likely she will get a role in that field.

What volunteering is she doing specific to her degree, what top up courses has she done to keep her knowledge up to date, what industry/networking events does she attend, what professional bodies has she joined?

And what job does she want to do?

Just in case this is a real post and not an explosion of the green-eyed monster here is my tuppence .....

Your friend's DD has been lucky - but 99% of luck is hard work. The other 1% was probably starting in Data Protection which is shit hot right now. She has worked her ass off to get professional qualifications whilst working and sound like an ambitious mover and shaker.

Your friend's DD sounds a lot like me. I was offered my first choice at university but declined it and was soon working at entry level in financial services, got a shedload of professional qualifications, attained Chartered status, achieved rapid promotions and had my own home by age 26. I worked my ass off. Then as there was uncertainty in our industry I went to college by night and got my degree purely to have some job security in the future.

A degree is all very well and worthy - but you could have a degree in almost anything from anthropology to zoology and you could only expect an entry level position in financial services

Presumably your daughter graduated about 4 years ago, has she picked up any qualifications relevant to her industry whilst working?

Many call centre staff move on after a couple of years, whatever else you and your daughter may have to complain about at least the employer has been brutally honest in relation to the prospects at the Call Centre. It's up to your DD to listen to the warning bells or not

I have done a Law degree and if I'm honest, it hasn't been that helpful. What was helpful was seeking a career that I could develop myself in with professional qualifications, which is what increased by base salary by over 150% in three years. I am a year older than your daughter.

Law related degrees are a dime a dozen, with thousands of candidates out there chasing after training contracts/pupillages/paralegal/legal assistant jobs.

What did she do during university to get into Law? Did she do vacation schemes? Has she done unpaid work experience, relevant volunteering etc? Law is not a career you crack by getting a 1st unless you have extra cirriculars or experience behind you. The latter is gained as an extra during university, so therefore recruiters ask for experience, whatever that may be.

If she isn't making a success at law, she needs to look at other career options. Graduate schemes or even other training schemes which will fund other professional qualifications.

It is not as simple as saying 'I have a 1st, give me a good job/salary' you have to build up a good profile of yourself. Get her volunteering. Get her applying for schemes. Get her applying for trainee roles in a vocational role. Get her on LinkedIn and out there.

Academics only get you so far as a tick box exercise. The rest is how you sell yourself. If she is not getting interviews or assessment centres, then your daughter needs to reassess her strategy and find out what is going wrong, and work on it.

Just to point out that some call centre jobs do need experience, have a LOT of responsibility, risk etc
They aren't all the same. Some are incredibly stressful and the call handlers need strong support and often counselling
People tend to assume they're all very similar

YANBU to feel you’ve been lied to. Lots of young people have done degrees and have huge student debt only to discover it’s a complete waste of time because the graduate jobs aren’t there at the end of it. It’s time we stopped encouraging people to go to university - I certainly will be recommending that my own DC give it a miss.

What is she actually trying to get into? Is it a niche & v popular area in that field? Is she being realistic?

If the area is simply law, did she intern while at university? Many of the jobs go go former interns before graduates apply. And define "very good university". Has she got A grades/equivalent in A levels, in traditional subjects (e.g. English, history, geography, maths, sciences)? Is the university one of the following: Oxbridge, ucl/kings/lse/imperial, Edinburgh, Warwick, Bristol, Durham, Birmingham, Manchester, Leeds etc? Law is terrifically competitive and only the best graduates get training contracts. Swathes more end up as paralegals, in accountancy firms, or shifting to completely unrelated areas.

Your friends DD would be a great example to speak to local schools.

My daughter is on an apprenticeship and is currently earning a good wage while she has friends at uni. But she works bloody hard, has a reasonable commute and already a lot of responsibility. Work hard, earn the money. University is not the only route to a good job.

Your friend's DD seems to have worked a lot harder and focused her ambition. Well done to her - she deserves it.

Your DD is probably swinging her legs a bit if she can’t get herself some relevant experience in the last 5 years. She may hate the call centre but there’s really no reason for her to still be there with that degree in her pocket unless she’d done SFA about it. Which I suspect is the case. Perhaps like you she prefers to whinge and moan.

It sounds like your friends DD has been very clever and worked smart as well as hard.

I went to a top 5 university and studied Chemistry, husband has no A levels and earns 6 figures - much more than me - in his late 20s. He trained in a profession and then moved strategically several times.

What’s stopping your DD doing some development or moving to a company which will develop her more? My husband works in Financial services and some of his colleagues started off in ops in the call centre. They moved sideways, developed with part sponsorship from the company, and - if value adding - were promoted several times.

Sorry, OP, sounds like sour grapes. Your friends DD has a lot of responsibility for a decent salary - if your DD wants to earn more maybe she should ask for mentorship or move back in with you and take a trainee role in a better field.

I sometimes wish there was a prerequisite for people to go to work for a bit before Uni. Both my sister and I picked chemistry because we had 4 As at A Level and didn’t really know what else to do but in retrospect I wouldn’t have bothered with uni until later in life (I have friends who went to Oxbridge who say the same!) With respect, googling “criminology and law” comes up with lots of OK-ish Universities but nowhere which will impressive discerning grad schemes. Without a clear path to a career it probably wasn’t the best way to spend £9k a year!

YABVVVU clap when others win and teach your dd to do the same.