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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

smoking drinking & xmas

114 replies

Cocktailsxandxdreams · 21/12/2019 14:01

give just had a baby, dont want any drinking or smoking around her (i also have other young childre),how to i tell family memebers this who are coming up xmas day?
Am i being too over the top?
Advice needed on how to sort this.

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 21/12/2019 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Likethebattle · 21/12/2019 14:08

Smoking you can stop but what’s wrong with a few drinks, it’s not like they’ll be trying to feed it to the baby. Unclench!

Original poster
Cocktailsxandxdreams · 21/12/2019 14:09

I just dont drink and dont want drunk ish people around my newborn, i dont let anyone smoke it my home but even if they smoke outside the smell still comes in.

OP posts:
Thurmanmurman · 21/12/2019 14:11

Fair enough about smoking but you are seriously going to ban drinking at Christmas? Sounds like really good fun at your house

Original poster
Cocktailsxandxdreams · 21/12/2019 14:12

These family members drink rather than eat the christmas dinner which is annoying so another reason why i dont want drink in my home, my babies 1st xmas and its at my home so think my rules should be upto me esp since im paying for it all.

OP posts:
TheNameGames · 21/12/2019 14:13

I smoke sometimes but never allow people to smoke inside my house. They can do it in the back garden with the door firmly shut, baby or not. I don't want to subject my non-smoking guests (or myself) to smoke in the same room.

Unless your family is going to get blind drunk that they would harm your baby by falling on top of them or they would be holding your baby and doing five shots in a row, I think that's BU.

NameChangeNugget · 21/12/2019 14:13

Totally agree with the smoking but, think you’re being a bit precious about the drinking.

Your baby, your call though

Original poster
Cocktailsxandxdreams · 21/12/2019 14:13

Christmas in my home is about the children, we dont need drink to have a fab xmas.

OP posts:
IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 21/12/2019 14:14

The smoking they will understand, however if you are going to have an alcohol free house for Christmas you should have told them a while ago so they could decide if to come. It wouldn’t bother me as I don’t drink but many can’t seem to go without one and may be unhappy.

I do get not drinking in front of the children or whilst in charge of them.

TheNameGames · 21/12/2019 14:15

@Cocktailsxandxdreams
These family members drink rather than eat the christmas dinner which is annoying so another reason why i dont want drink in my home, my babies 1st xmas and its at my home so think my rules should be upto me esp since im paying for it all.

Well, of course. If you don't want alcohol in your house, tell them it's not welcome. And expect them not to come.

Interesting username, for someone that doesn't want drink in their home, btw.

redcarbluecar · 21/12/2019 14:18

Most of my family don’t drink and there’s no alcohol around at Xmas. I drink, but don’t mind not doing so for the duration, as it’s understood that it doesn’t happen. If your family are coming to you expecting to have a drink, I don’t think it’s very fair to police them. You could ask people not to pick your baby up if they’ve had a couple of drinks.

TigerOnATrain · 21/12/2019 14:18

I picked YABU, because it's unfair to stop people having a drink of alcohol.

Just because YOU don't 'need a drink' to have fun, why spoil everyone else's fun?

Most people don't NEED a drink, but they want one. So what? Confused

WhereverIMayRoam · 21/12/2019 14:18

I wouldn’t allow any smoking in the home but agree with pps that you can’t ban everyone from enjoy A Christmas drink, that would be really uptight.

Saying that you refer to these family members drinking rather than eat Christmas dinner which suggests they get pissed or have I misunderstood? If that’s the case then I’m confused as to why you’re having them for Christmas in the first place?

12elve · 21/12/2019 14:18

But Christmas isn't just about the children, is it? Maybe you shouldn't be inviting adults if they aren't allowed to have a drink or a fag outside.

Sirzy · 21/12/2019 14:20

Please tell people in advance so they can go somewhere they can relax and feel comfy!

singymummy · 21/12/2019 14:20

Yabu to tell them this 4 days before Christmas
And being very precious

Original poster
Cocktailsxandxdreams · 21/12/2019 14:20

Its a close family members ,they dont have anywhere else to go, if they choose not to come then i will just drop off xmas dinner to them ,i diddnt really think of the drinking and smoking until now,i will just say something and see how it goes down but they can smoke and drink when they go home they only at mine for the food during the day.

OP posts:
MsChnandlerBong · 21/12/2019 14:21

You're being precious and ridiculous if you think someone having a festive bloody beer is going to affect your kid!

DancingPyjamas · 21/12/2019 14:22

I agree with the smoking OP but to ban alcohol too is a bit much.
If you know that they enjoy a drink then why invite them to begin with, especially at Xmas.
If they asked to visit then you could have said when they asked that they can't drink, and left the choice of if they still want to visit to them.

TheNameGames · 21/12/2019 14:22

Well... then tell them that. I would love it if I could smoke and drink on Christmas day and then have a Christmas meal delivered straight to me Grin

chloxox08 · 21/12/2019 14:23

YABU about the drinking - it's Christmas fgs. But if it's your house then it's up to you

Original poster
Cocktailsxandxdreams · 21/12/2019 14:24

By the end of the meal they are drunk dont even eat pudding they take that away with them.
I havent long gave birth so this wasnt on my mind until i read about 2nd and 3rd hand smoking around babies and cot death.

OP posts:
plunkplunkfizz · 21/12/2019 14:25

It would be very rude to announce these new and quite unusual rules a few days before Christmas. A polite host would make people aware of any non-standard parameters of a visit well in advance.

WarmSausageTea · 21/12/2019 14:25

Your home, your rules.

Advice on how to deal with it? Tell people ahead of the day. Be totally clear about it, give people the chance to decide whether or not they want to visit you, and don’t be offended if they decide not to.

Sirzy · 21/12/2019 14:25

Just uninvite them so they can have a relaxed Christmas!

If you have other young children then why is it suddenly an issue?