smoking drinking & xmas

[Cocktailsxandxdreams]

give just had a baby, dont want any drinking or smoking around her (i also have other young childre),how to i tell family memebers this who are coming up xmas day?
Am i being too over the top?
Advice needed on how to sort this.

You're getting a really hard time here which is a shame as you clearly have good reasons to feel the way you do.

If you've grown up with an alcoholic who ruins every special occasion by drinking to excess then it's understandable that you might a) feel really strongly that you don't want your kids to have the same experience and b) feel that protecting your kids from said shitty experience is intrinsically linked to being a decent parent in your mind.

I wouldn't want to spend Christmas with an alcoholic. I like a drink on Christmas day and wouldn't want to go without but we all know that isn't the same thing as getting so drunk you ruin it for other people.

My ex was an alcoholic and he used to get so drunk he'd pass out (more than once while eating a meal) and then piss himself. No fucking way would I want that around my kids on any day of the year! It's not the same as having a drink as part of the festive fun.

Katherine then maybe they should go to rehab instead of a house with a newborn then because if you need drink to have fun there's obviously a serious dependence on alcohol.

Gosh you sound like such a fun sponge. I understand you not wanting people to get blathered on Xmas day but think yabvvu to begrudge people a glass of wine with their dinner. I think if you don't want them to come you should have just told them instead of making up antisocial last minute rules in order to put them off.

Smoking I understand PFB with the drinking I'm afraid

I don't drink and don't buy or handle alcohol. I'd be really uncomfortable if someone brought alcohol into my house.

Re the smoking - not BU

Re the drinking - YABU.

By the end of the meal they are drunk dont even eat pudding they take that away with them.

^Can you not restrict the drinks so they can have some but not up end drunk?

**we dont need drink to have a fab xmas.

Maybe they do.**

^Pretty sad if someone needs drink to have a good time

No smoking is reasonable. No drinking isn't.

Is it a blanket ban on alcohol or ban from being totally inebriated?

Amazed at the people here who cannot fathom that a person can have one or two glasses of wine or beer or whatever with Christmas dinner and then stop. There is a difference between enjoying a glass or two then stopping and getting pissed.

I don’t serve alcohol if my alcoholic relative is visiting. His presence means my household is dry for the duration. This isn’t a surprise though. It’s not for his benefit, it’s for mine. I won’t be around him when alcohol is in the mix

I also don’t invite guests who think it’s ok to smoke in the garden and then come into my home smelling like smoke.

So obviously, I think you are perfectly entitled to set rules for your home. It’s very close to Christmas though so you need to get it sorted.

Like many people have said, not smoking inside your home is perfectly reasonable.
the drinking seems a bit strange - can you not just restrict alcohol - eg not topping up wine with lunch over frequently? - and just not having more than a bottle if it's just 2-3 people drinking?

If your guests are in no financial position to afford their own Xmas dinner, as you say, then surely they won't be able to afford to bring a massive amount of alcohol?

Tell them that you will provide drinks then just buy an amount that is acceptable to you.

If they are only there for a short time, for dinner itself, then a glass on arrival, a glass with dinner and maybe a third glass of something would be enough. They'd be happy, and you wouldn't have to worry about drunkenness around your baby.

You say that they prefer drinking to eating but in your house, you control the agenda. If they don't like it, they won't come next year. If it is awful for you, tell them from about March onwards that you won't be doing it next year.