smoking drinking & xmas

[Cocktailsxandxdreams]

give just had a baby, dont want any drinking or smoking around her (i also have other young childre),how to i tell family memebers this who are coming up xmas day?
Am i being too over the top?
Advice needed on how to sort this.

But as others have said, it’s a bit late to drop this on people.

What harm do toy think will come to your child if other people drink?

I'd stay home. I enjoy a drink before and with my Christmas dinner. It is your right to have the rules you want in your home. Others have the right to not come - or leave.

It's your house, your rules.

It's also their choice if they attend or not.

Why have you chosen to host Xmas with a newborn?!

I think YABU with the drinking but I'd absolutely not have smokers around my children.

I think it would be best to tell them your “new rules” now so they can decide whether or not to attend. FWIW I think you’re being quite precious re the drinking. I could understand if they became aggressive/argumentative but unless you’re planning quite a drip feed here then you’re being completely ott. It’s not unusual for some people to get tiddly at Christmas and while obviously I wouldn’t allow them to hold the baby it’s not actually going to do you or dc any harm.

Due to what i just said about cot death the drinking part due to i dont want drunks around my newborn. This is my parent and partner so i diddnt invite them they just have came to me the past 6years so they just take it they are coming and really cant afford to do their own xmas dinner.

its at my home so think my rules should be upto me esp since im paying for it all

You need to tell them your rules now so they can decide if they still want to come or not, sounds like they like a lot of drink and may not be happy being unable to have one.

You need to decide which is more important to you. Spending Christmas with your parent and partner or making some point with some over the top rules.

No smoking in the house is fair enough and pretty standard for the home of a non smoker but the rest is just petty

You sound like you're determined to have the the most miserable Christmas you can possibly muster and under no circumstances will you allow anyone else to enjoy themselves. Feel really sorry for your guests.

I’m sober and tbh I don’t really like the idea of other people drinking in my home. I’m absolutely fine being around other people drinking but in my own home feels different somehow. That said, I wouldn’t ever invite people over for Christmas and expect them not to have a drink. And if that’s something you want then I think you’ve left it far too late to let people know now.

Smoking rule I agree with, the drinking rule is ridiculous. If they're only there for a short time they shouldn't be rolling around drunk anyway. I think you're being precious and you're likely going to look back at this and cringe if you go ahead.

Its more the partner than my parent that gets drunk. Im close to my parent so i dont think they will be too botherd maybe the partner would but maybe your right about the drinking part i should let them have ,im not against drink i just dont drink myself but i am against smoking.
Just wanted peoples views good or bad.
Just for me xmas is all for the children not for me but family is important so i wouldnt want to spoil anyones day.

I don't drink or smoke but I think you should rescind the invitations to your home. You're being unreasonable to expect other people not to drink. Smoking? Fine - they shouldn't smoke in your home but having a drink? Many people like to drink and particularly at Christmas and there's nothing wrong with that.

If you're really in knots about it then the kindest thing to do would be to tell everybody now that you don't want them drinking or smoking whilst at your house so that they can make other plans. You have a newborn and you feel protective, use that as your excuse.

Honestly, this is the most precious thing I've ever heard- smoking is one thing but your baby can't get passively tipsy.

Unless these people are drinking to the point they're out of control and not safe, this is really very silly indeed.

Drinking & smoking dont make a amazing christmas its who your with that counts.we always have a fun xmas with the children its for them thats what i do it all for. Its a kids xmas we have not a adult one
If i dont say anything then i will be worrying about it.
If i say dont drink so much or dont smoke as much as they go out about 15/20 x in the short space of time they are here.is that still being over the top?

I think you're being way over the top and you're not a good host if you will not allow guests who would like a drink, to drink.

Better that you say that you'll send them over some food - or they can come and collect it- and stop pretending that you want them to come when you'll barely tolerate them.

It would be nicer for all of you - them and you.

.. and if Christmas is 'just for kids' then stop involving and inviting adults to yours. It doesn't sound very relaxing for guests so just have yourself and your children, that's the simplest solution.

Yeah you're being over the top
Don't invite them if you don't want them to smoke outside or drink. Wow. Sounds like a fun christmas.

fuck me xmas sounds well boring in your house lol

Why did you invite them then decide all of these restrictions if they drink and don't eat just why are they there

Fair enough with the smoking but you have left it very late to make new rules on drinking - if someone tried to dictate to me I couldn't drink on Christmas Day (other than my doctor) I would find alternative Christmas plans, and I'm not a huge drinker it's just the one day of the year I'm not driving!

I think you are getting in a muddle here. First , and important, no smoking in the house, people understand that. Second, unless people are drunk and behave badly I would have no idea why it would be a problem. They dont have to handle your baby and you can keep him/her safe. The craziest idea you have is that Christmas is for children, how many children will be there? You have a new born baby who will not have the slightest idea what is going on. It sounds to me as if you really dont want to host, in that case make some excuse and cancel

Did this never occur to you with your other children? If you've allowed it with them around before yabu to expect everyone to be ok with your new ott no drinking rules at such short notice.

Fine to say please don't get drunk or smoke in my house, smoking outside and washing hands, leaving coat outside is often acceptable.

I understand the smoking, but no drinking is a ridiculous rule.

You're coming across very precious.

Tell your 'guests' the rules you've just made up and I think you'll find yourself in a much easier position, seeing as they probably won't come.

Christmas can (and should!) be a fun, relaxing time for both children and adults.
For you to attempt to police grown adults having a festive drink is ludicrous.

(Also, your name includes the word 'cocktails' which is odd, seeing as you can't even stand alcohol to be in your home.)