AIBU. Is anyone else also strugling this christmas ?

[LidiaM]

I am so depresed,
me and my husband are strugling this year as my maternity has finished and hes got his pay from work today which menas that the next one will be on the 30th of January ..
I am sooo stressed out, my hair has fallen down from the amount of stress.My nails are cracked and I have been getting spots lately.
I AM LITERALLY LEFT with £200 for 6 weeks incl food, nappies etc
my little girl turns 1 next 2 weeks and I have only bought her one cheap present incl christmas too, we are not going to have a party for her either as I cant afford it !!
we are not getting any benefits and everything is soo expensive.
rent, council , electricity, I cant do this anymore :(((
I am cant borrow any money from friends or family because I am so ashamed and I feel lile a failure.
I even considered setting up an anonim fund me page to get £100 or £200 and put my mind at ease as I cant live like that.
I am stressing out too much and my body cant take anymore.

Whatever you do do not borrow any money. Baby does not need a present. Treat next week as a normal week you do not have to do anything you can afford

of couse I could have done something but I didnt and its now too late. My hisband usually gets paid on the last Friday of each month and yes, the money from previous pay has been spent on things like second hand sofa, bed as we have moved in to a cheaper rent where it was empty so we had to buy literally everything for every day living.

Wow there’s some nasty judgemental comments on here!

Op have a look at money saving expert website especially the debt free wannabe board, you should be able to get some ideas for saving money there. As others have said your one year old won’t understand it’s Christmas/ her birthday so no need to spend anything on presents but you can pick things up cheap in the charity shop. For food do a meal plan of cheap filling meals and try to cut down on meat.

It sounds like your money problems are due to having just moved, @LidiaM so with any luck things will even out in the New Year.

thank you some of you for your support,knowing that I can manage it somehow makes me feel a bit better.
Have a Marry Christmas Everyone.
x

Not sure if this will help OP, but I've had some very tight months money wise, and with a weaning baby had to find ways to stretch it as much as possible! A few tips I found helped:

• frozen veg, iceland do 5 1kg bags for £4, they last ages and actually taste as nice as fresh
• Frozen fruit, works out much cheaper, and there's no wastage as it doesn't go off. I bought apples and bananas fresh, but things like blueberries and strawberries which were perfect for babys porridge were so much more affordable
• If you have a slow cooker or can get hold of one second hand, they're a game changer. The cheaper cuts of meat, or frozen meat tastes much nicer; plus you can make some really tasty but cheap meals like chili con carne really easily. They're also cheaper to run that an oven.
• Reduction time at supermarkets, I used to go on a Sunday at 2pm as that's when they'd do the reductions, and pick up frozen bits. You could usually get a pack of mince for 29p and pizzas for cheap.
• Find an own brand which you like, I really like Asda smart price stuff, and it's really good value. Some of it actually has less salt and sugar in than the branded stuff, which is good for baby. I also used their own toilet roll which was fine, 12 rolls for about £2.
• I found loads of recipes for 'basic' items such as eggs online, and find ways to bulk them out- like a cheesy omlette with frozen spinach works out at a reasonable price and is nice and balanced.
• Meal planning before shopping saves not only time but definitely money and helps reduce wastage.

It's not a fun way to live, but there are options and hopefully you can find some which work for you.

OP sorry to hear you’re so miserable. Can you go to your GP for help if you’re slipping into a depression? Ask about your hair and nails while you’re there. Might be a vitamin deficiency if you are not eating properly.

Personally, I find potatoes and porridge are more nutritious and filling than pasta.

Little children love playing with empty boxes - put her present in a box big enough for her to sit in, wrap it with bright paper and she’ll be happy enough.

the worst thing is that the £200 is not even my money its bank as we have an overdraft of £2000 and we constanlly live and depend on it financially, Husband gets paid, it goes to 0 then we pay rent and all bills and here we are again , £-1800

@LidiaM I tried for 15 years before falling Pregnant with my first Baby. Ended in a chemical pregnancy took another year for my second one my Christmas Day loss and the other 2 followed on pretty quickly but also lost them as well. My most recent one probably hit us both the hardest because we got to 9 weeks and I had scans. Not that there was much there to see cos Baby didn’t grow much past about 7 weeks and never had a heartbeat @FestiveFavourites thank you

I am afaraid it is very hard to get out of this circle and I hate it ! but hopefully once U am back to work.. things can improve masivelly

There are food banks out there for when people are hard up... go to your GP for a referral. Also can you look at picking up an evening or weekend job?
Paid weekly would give you some extra money...... are you planning on going back to work as long term how will things get better?

You need a new year plan.

Ah missed your update you are going back to work.

Speak to your GP or health visitor.... and don’t worry about presents, baby will never ever remember!!

Might worth asking bank to freeze your overdraft and start paying them back slowly. Rather than living in your overdraft, it’s a massive trap to get out of. Your little one is only one they won’t have a clue so don’t feel bad. £200 is do-able to live off but there’s food banks you can go to if it doesn’t last.

@Lozz22 it is heartbraking, my deepest sympathy goes to both of you....x have a peacfull Christmas my love

At 1 she won't understand the concepts so I wouldn't worry about presents. Use the money for nappies food etc, essentials. Presents at that age are purely for show.

I think it’s fairly common to live off your overdraft - I do! I count -£2,000 as zero balance!

Scarsthelotno I havent lost baby last year christmas ! we have had a lot of losses over the past FEW YEARS and we have been trying FEW YEARS. get over

I know. I was telling a poster that thought you were that it wasnt you.

Anyway if your partner gets paid last Friday of every month, that's not every 4 weeks.

I am sorry its crap for you. But its only going to get better if you get back to work

This time of year can be rough OP. Dont stress about presents and pay for your essentials. It will be rough but you'll get through it.

@TheReluctantCountess I am sorry, what do you mean ?

@Scarsthelot ok. sorry for being "loud"

I got into the whole of my overdraft every draft, is what I mean.

There’s that lady. Who can cook for like £1 a day?

I forget the name. She has a tv show? She’s absolutely brilliant!!!

@TheReluctantCountess Arent you worried that the bank will take it away amd what will you do then ? because I worry all the time. We depend on it :(

If the bank take it back I’ll be buggered - but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. There’s money going in every month and the account is active, and they get interest from me every month, so I doubt they’ll stop the overdraft.

On my daughters first and second Xmas and birthday I was so insanely broke we got her bubble wrap and a card board box; she LOVED it :) as for birthday... bake a cake and have some friends over for a play date. Instead of presents ask the other mummies to bring a plate of food to share. You can do it!
I’m on maternity leave again and it’s hideous xx