Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my cat isn't going to come back home :(

134 replies

Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 10:13

My cat was usually a house cat but we have recently got a cat flap so are allowing him to come and go as he pleases. He has been neutered and microchipped.

Over the last 2 weeks he has started bringing home live mice, dead birds, live birds - basically the animals of farthing wood.

I let him out Wednesday morning and closed the cat flap as didn't want him bringing anything home whilst I was at work.

He hasn't been home since :(

The last time he went missing, our neighbour found him in her garden after him being run over. He was insured but only for £4k, vet bill came to £7k. Still paying that off.

I am pregnant and this is causing me huge distress, I am so so worried about him. I have printed off leaflets for the neighbours to ask them to check their garden sheds, houses etc.

He never goes missing for more than a few hours. Never.

He isn't coming back is he?

I have rang the local vets too but nothing. Last night I walked the streets, looking at side of roads, ditches, gardens and hedges - calling him. I didn't eat last night and I feel bereft!

OP posts:
Chanel05 · 20/12/2019 10:18

Could you post on your local area Facebook page asking people to check sheds and garages if living near to you? Hope your kitty comes home soon.

Original poster
Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 10:20

I have done this :(

OP posts:
TreadLightly3 · 20/12/2019 10:21

My sister’s cat was found in a back garden alive and well, if a bit skinny, a few months after he went missing. The key is that they are microchipped, so I think there is a fair chance your car will return eventually. It’s only been a few days so I don’t think you need to worry too much yet. Could you go round the streets calling his name?

adaline · 20/12/2019 10:22

If you have any, try putting his used litter outside the back door - he should be able to follow the smell.

I hope you get him back for Christmas!

TreadLightly3 · 20/12/2019 10:22

Sorry I mean cat obvs!!!!

Original poster
Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 10:23

Could you go round the streets calling his name we did this last night.

I have heard about the litter thing, whilst we have a litter tray in the house, he hasn't used it since having a cat flap (about 6 weeks) so litter is clean.

OP posts:
Beamur · 20/12/2019 10:26

Chances are he is nearby but may have got lost or shut in. If he's only recently started going out he may be exploring a bit further afield.
Keep the flap open and put out some smelly food to entice him home. It's only been a couple of days, don't give up hope yet.

User1483098432 · 20/12/2019 10:26

My mums cat once turned up 2 years after going missing! Try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know) but hopefully he will be back soon. Is he chipped?

fedupandlookingforchange · 20/12/2019 10:26

He’s probably spending his time lying in wait for the little creatures and then eating them and then sleeping it off before the cycle starts again. Do you know where he’s catching them? Go and look for him there.

Original poster
Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 10:32

No idea where he is catching them, we do live fairly rurally and also have a lot of big gardens surrounding ours.

I just can't imagine him being close and not coming home. We have had terrible weather. He loves his home comforts. He is a bit of a lazy boy as demonstrated in the photo!

AIBU to think my cat isn't going to come back home :(
OP posts:
adaline · 20/12/2019 10:36

Cats like to go out and explore. There are often cats on our local FB pages who have been out for 2-3 days and they've always been absolutely fine.

If he's only recently been allowed out, he's probably still exploring and discovering his new home.

Batinahat · 20/12/2019 10:38

When one of my cats went missing we found her through a local lost and found cats Facebook page, it was brilliant. I had no idea how active these pages are, definitely worth looking.

Original poster
Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 10:39

@Batinahat I have joined all those groups and keeping a close eye!

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 20/12/2019 10:40

He might - he might be a bit put out at having been locked out; and gone off to explore his newfound freedom! One of my childhood cats came back after three years... mostly they would disappear once or twice for a few days at a time.

I hope he's back soon Thanks

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 20/12/2019 10:54

If it's any consolation, my cat spends long periods of time out of the house at the moment. I think there are a lot of mice out and about as it's been quite mild. Cats are really good at looking after themselves, you cam see that from feral colonies who live outside in freezing temps. Our cat will literally sit and wait for a mouse for days without food or drink. We know where he goes now and we go to him with raw chicken which is the only thing he will leave his mouse watch for.

Your cat is probably doing the same somewhere. If he's managing to catch food and has found somewhere to shelter he won't be that bothered about home comforts. The thrill of the catch comes before everything.

Don't give up going out and calling him. Take smelly food with you and wave it around as you walk.

Wishing him home soon, or even if he's not home just a sighting so you know he's ok xx

thecatsthecats · 20/12/2019 10:55

I just can't imagine him being close and not coming home.

Ahhh, we thought exactly the same about our furry DICKHEAD who took himself off for four days. He's elderly, and he's obsessed with cuddles (literally does not give you a moment's peace) - we just couldn't imagine him not wanting to be back.

Silly sod was found almost a mile away (or rather when he got bored of exploring, he found a kind woman and demanded to be returned).

Try:

  • a blanket with YOUR scent in the garden - smelly socks were recommended
  • blankets with his scent
  • local cat groups
  • local vets
  • local neighbourhood watch
  • speaking to neighbours
  • posters near schools at child height if you're near one (I came home passing a child talking to her mum about looking for my cat!)

Our cat sitters helped us find our idiot boy - they love cats so much that they'd probably even help a non-customer? I cried every day for that furry bastard, but they reassured me that cats roaming is completely normal, and the vast, VAST majority will find their way home or be found.

(in fact, our rural cats would regularly bugger off for up to a week!)

Skyejuly · 20/12/2019 10:58

I hope he comes back soon :(

EnglishRain · 20/12/2019 11:03

I hope he comes home soon.

I don't have any cats now but our boy vanished for a few days a couple of times in his lifetime. He was always around and about but literally vanished. Even now have no idea where he went or what he was doing. The first time he turned up as we were walking home having put a missing cat poster in the local shop!

imcuriousok · 20/12/2019 11:07

Aww I really hope he comes home soon. A few months ago my cat disappeared for 2 days and the weather was atrocious! He came back completely dry and didn't seem hungry which makes me think he'd made himself comfortable in someone's houseHmm

I'm sure he'll come back soon xx

Poorolddaddypig · 20/12/2019 11:14

Don’t lose hope! My cat came back after three months once - like yours a house cat who had just started going outside. Also during winter, a year where there were particularly awful storms and lots of weather warnings. I was so upset but one day I went downstairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water and he was there! After months of nothing. Skinny and a bit pissed off looking, but there. I sometimes wonder if ex housecats get a bit carried away when they get a taste of freedom and go on a little journey of self discovery when they’re allowed out. Maybe that’s what your cat is doing too Smile

Backtoreality1 · 20/12/2019 11:20

My cat disappeared for four weeks....came back skinny and claws scuffed, so figured had been shut in somewhere. If people have headed off on their Christmas break he could be shut in a garage somewhere. Might be worth putting notes through doors asking people to check sheds/garages etc just in case.

cosima1 · 20/12/2019 11:21

Really hope he returns OP and I think he may well do. Sometimes they walk across another cat’s scented territory, or there is another cat on the prowl blocking them from their normal return route. Builders or machinery can also put them off.
Sometimes a “kind” neighbour may decide to take your “stray” cat in.
Another thing to mention - people are going away this time of year and often cats go in through one-way cat flaps, only to find they can’t get out. This recently happened to a friends cat who was respond in an empty house for three days.
If they’d had been a road accident, you would know by now if your cat is chipped because someone would have taken him in or found him. This is a good sign, I would say.

Fingers crossed for you!!!!!
Our cat recently went missing for two days. I was beside myself so I know exactly how it feels. He did return. God knows where he was.
Are there any garages locally?

Ozzie9523 · 20/12/2019 11:26

Mine disappeared for a few days last year, I put leaflets in all the doors and discovered he had a "second home" around the corner. He looked quite shocked when I turned up there to collect him! It's quite common apparently. Hope he turns up OP.

Ozzie9523 · 20/12/2019 11:27

Also maybe post this on The Litter Tray section, lots of knowledgeable cat owners on there x

easyandy101 · 20/12/2019 11:30

One of mine went on a 3 month tour

One day just walked back in and whined there was no food out