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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my cat isn't going to come back home :(

134 replies

Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 10:13

My cat was usually a house cat but we have recently got a cat flap so are allowing him to come and go as he pleases. He has been neutered and microchipped.

Over the last 2 weeks he has started bringing home live mice, dead birds, live birds - basically the animals of farthing wood.

I let him out Wednesday morning and closed the cat flap as didn't want him bringing anything home whilst I was at work.

He hasn't been home since :(

The last time he went missing, our neighbour found him in her garden after him being run over. He was insured but only for £4k, vet bill came to £7k. Still paying that off.

I am pregnant and this is causing me huge distress, I am so so worried about him. I have printed off leaflets for the neighbours to ask them to check their garden sheds, houses etc.

He never goes missing for more than a few hours. Never.

He isn't coming back is he?

I have rang the local vets too but nothing. Last night I walked the streets, looking at side of roads, ditches, gardens and hedges - calling him. I didn't eat last night and I feel bereft!

OP posts:
Winterdaysarehere · 20/12/2019 11:31

Dcat once went for 6 months!! Had been living rough and eating mice and birds. Been seen but nobody could catch her.
Another dcat was missing for 10 days. Returned with a smashed leg.
Dcats are sent to test us op.
Sadly it's a waiting game.

SirB0bby · 20/12/2019 11:32

He might be enjoying his new found freedom. A bit like my teenage son who I hardly see since he got his own car and then turned 18. Try not to worry, he'll probably rock up soon as if nothing's happened!

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 20/12/2019 11:32

Sorry to hear this. I have often lost cats, one for three months so never give up hope until you have to. It is so upsetting

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 20/12/2019 11:33

Mine has previously been missing for longer and returned safely. Definitely post on social media, even if you don't have an account. They is an army of cat people out there who will share widely.

Our success came through a combination of social media and leafleting. We'd leafleted the houses on the streets that we knew were in her territory, thinking that people might take more notice of a hand delivered leaflet than a poster on the street. A woman a couple of miles away posted about a cat visiting her house, and one of my neighbours shared the leaflet with her. She kept our cat in and called us to collect her.

HouseworkAvoider10 · 20/12/2019 11:34
Sad Grin at some of the replies.
Original poster
Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 11:34

Thanks everyone, you have instilled some calm into me for now. I know he is PROBABLY ok but I can't help thinking the worst. He is an asshole. He has been gone for around a day and a half before.

He is loving the hunting right now so maybe that has distracted him.

Interesting about him being blocked from coming home via a usual route because of another cat in it's territory. He is a scaredy cat and I have seen him avoiding neighbours cats before. I want him home for xmas or I will be sad!

I have a gender scan tomorrow and should be getting excited for that!

OP posts:
Fr0g · 20/12/2019 11:38

what an awful time of year for this to happen, hope that he turns up soon.

Candyapple49 · 20/12/2019 11:40

Please don’t give up hope . My 6 year old cat went missing for 2 months . We were distraught . One day at work my neighbour called and said “ guess who was sitting at the op of your path . I’ve taken her in .”
She was skinny and matted . She happily lived another 10 years without anther disappearing act .
I have my fingers crossed for you x

CorBlimeyGovenor · 20/12/2019 11:43

I feel a lot more optimistic than you! If he's used to being indoors a lot he could be hiding up somewhere. It's only Friday! It's just that, when your cat goes missing, every hour seems like a day! Read this. I found it helpful. Hope he returns soon! I'm sure he will!

www.missinganimalresponse.com/lost-cat-behavior/

Original poster
Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 12:01

@CorBlimeyGovenor Thanks for that link, again it has calmed me a bit. I know in all likelihood he is probably going to be back but my head is spinning right now.

OP posts:
cosima1 · 20/12/2019 12:02

Op, do you think you could knock on your neighbours doors and ask if they have cats or a one-way cat flap? Your cat could be hiding in someone’s house, unknown. Or ask if you could look in their sheds or garages as, despite leaflets, people often don’t get round to this in rainy weather.

Bang the food dishes loudly in the garden.

Does your cat wear a collar because these can sometimes get stuck in undergrowth etc?

Are there any ponds or marshes that might have flooded and blocked the route back temporarily?

junecat · 20/12/2019 12:07

Definitely worth trying the litter tray. Mine had just started going out and pottering about the garden mainly with us and wouldn't go far. One day he went missing for hours, walked the neighborhood looking for him and nothing. I put his litter tray in the garden and hung my worn clothes on the line and he was back very quickly. I think he went for an explore and got lost or scared and was probably very close xx

dayslikethese1 · 20/12/2019 12:14

Aw OP, my cat did this when she was new to us and was not meant to go out yet (broke out during a storm), luckily she came back 3 days later very wet and sorry for herself.

gwilt · 20/12/2019 12:29

I have my paws crossed for you.

Our 2 did the same after moving house.

One was back after 6 days, waiting on the landing when we got back in. Another was located by microchip 3 miles away after 3 months, living in a coal scuttle!

Cats are funny things :)

SusanneLinder · 20/12/2019 12:47

DH's cat ( when we were dating), lost his cat. He was distraught. Wee arsehole was found two gardens away about 10 days later.
I fell in love with him then, because I knew that a guy who was so upset about a kitty was a keeper...

Damntheman · 20/12/2019 13:04

Oh I am sorry OP, cats going missing is so stressful! One of mine went missing for two weeks right after my first child was born. I didn't sleep AT ALL! Total zombie. I'm pretty sure he got shut in somewhere, he was pretty skinny when he came back. Likely the same has happened with yours. Cats are pretty good at finding warm places to curl up in, hoping yours comes back safe and sound soon.

GuineaPigPosie · 20/12/2019 13:10

Please don't give up hope, OP. He's probably thrilled at all the time he has hunting and will be home soon enough for some love and normality!

I have an old lady cat who would spend days, if not weeks, out hunting in her prime. I know it's so hard, but try and stay positive for both you and baby! (Congratulations btw!!)

One of my late cats was missing for 20 months before she was located! She just loved exploring and hunting. I have everything crossed for you Flowers

DinaCaliente · 20/12/2019 13:24

Mine came back after 9 months.

He was skinny and ragged but thank goodness for microchips.

Fcukthisshit · 20/12/2019 13:30

Go knock your neighbours doors and ask them to check sheds and garages and keep shouting him and shaking biscuits outside as often as you can. My cat was missing for 2 weeks - Same situation as you - mostly a house cat but we had just started to let her out and about. She turned up very skinny and dehydrated but otherwise fine so don’t give up hope x

MsBananaHammock · 20/12/2019 13:31

I have heard if you empty the contents of your vacuum in the garden (it will smell of your home) will help bring your kitty home.

Original poster
Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 13:33

@MsBananaHammock I guess it is worth a try!

OP posts:
FlossieJEM · 20/12/2019 13:38

My cat regularly wanders off for extended periods. He has even been away as long as 7 weeks before and then just pops up! I think male cats especially like to roam around.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 20/12/2019 16:17

My cat escaped hours after we moved to a new house. Went missing for two days. Was convinced that I'd never see her again. Day three and she strolled in!

slipperywhensparticus · 20/12/2019 16:19

Rattle the biscuits bang the tin?

I8toys · 20/12/2019 16:26

Its horrible when this happens. Our girl came back after 3 days - she been knocked by a car - now has no tail. Whereas her son was also knocked and came back straight away - partial tail and £2500 vets bill.

I can understand your worry and I would be the same. Hoping he turns up and has just been a eating at some old ladies house!