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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my cat isn't going to come back home :(

134 replies

Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 10:13

My cat was usually a house cat but we have recently got a cat flap so are allowing him to come and go as he pleases. He has been neutered and microchipped.

Over the last 2 weeks he has started bringing home live mice, dead birds, live birds - basically the animals of farthing wood.

I let him out Wednesday morning and closed the cat flap as didn't want him bringing anything home whilst I was at work.

He hasn't been home since :(

The last time he went missing, our neighbour found him in her garden after him being run over. He was insured but only for £4k, vet bill came to £7k. Still paying that off.

I am pregnant and this is causing me huge distress, I am so so worried about him. I have printed off leaflets for the neighbours to ask them to check their garden sheds, houses etc.

He never goes missing for more than a few hours. Never.

He isn't coming back is he?

I have rang the local vets too but nothing. Last night I walked the streets, looking at side of roads, ditches, gardens and hedges - calling him. I didn't eat last night and I feel bereft!

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 20/12/2019 16:33

Our cat went missing for six weeks. She ran away one rainy day, then just turned up on our doorstep one afternoon six weeks later, quite a lot thinner and very sorry for herself. We got her checked out at the vet and she was fine once she’d been fed and de-flead.
Good luck, OP!

CSIblonde · 20/12/2019 16:37

My cat went missing for 2weeks . I remembered her routine was a 9pm wander for a few hours so timed my search for then: & found her at 9.10 a few doors down in the garden that had access to fields nearby. (owner said they didn't mind me checking as they thought they'd seen her). Don't give up OP.

WatchingFromTheWings · 20/12/2019 16:42

My cat often disappears around Christmas time. Last year for 7 weeks, the year before for 2. Last time she came back fatter than when she left! Had obviously made herself at home somewhere!

Floralnomad · 20/12/2019 16:45

It’s early days if he’s only been gone since Wednesday , fingers crossed that he’s home safely soon .

DontCallMeShitley · 20/12/2019 16:57

Go out at night, when it is quiet and call him, shake Dreamies or whatever he likes, and stay in one place for a while as you continue to call. They often hear but will wander slowly to where you are.

If you move away too soon the moment will be lost. Walk slowly when you move on. And listen very carefully for little meows.

There is a FB group for B/W cats (UK)

And Lost Paws x is well run and seems to have some success.

Original poster
Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 21:45

He still isnt home. I've walked the streets, its quiet where I am. I've shaken his biscuits, I even bought a hot piece of chicken and wafted it about!

OP posts:
Original poster
Vilanelle · 20/12/2019 21:46

Funnily enough I found a lost dog on the road this evening and notified its owner. Hoping the karma repays me.

OP posts:
Lolwhat · 20/12/2019 22:00

Our cat went missing when we moved house, she arrived at our old house nearly 6 miles away, she’s been back 10 years and is 19, don’t worry too much

Murinae · 20/12/2019 22:02

My friend just came back from a Month long trip to America to find a cat locked in her house. They rent and workmen from the landlord had been in while they were away and locked the poor cat in. It ran out when they opened the door and they were left with the poo and wee to clear up. It was locked in the house for 10 days in total!

cosima1 · 20/12/2019 22:04

Fingers crossed for you Vilanelle xx

Our cat once went missing for a year, or so we thought. We later inadvertently discovered the neighbours had unilaterally decided to take him with them when they moved to Wales Hmm. Couldn’t believe it.

Really hope he returns soon for you.

BeanTownNancy · 20/12/2019 23:34

My cat fucked off for 6 months then one day the vet called me to say she had been brought in after being hit by a car 2 roads over from mine. She was fine, just broke a tooth. Dickhead.

Redrosesandsunsets · 21/12/2019 00:07

If he hunts regularly he has probably gone off on a “cat bender”. We used to have a cat that did this and he would disappear for 4 weeks at a time. We would sometimes see him at a nearby water hole and he would ignore us, or we’d see him in some trees and bushes and he’d ignore us. Then we’d not see him for a while I guess he lived wild for a bit. Honestly it wasn’t more than 1/4 km from our home. When he was ready he’d just stroll home again and be all loving and friendly again and stay close for another year or so. No idea why this happened but he was extremely resourceful. Wishing you well and I hope he comes back soon.

Ilovemypantry · 21/12/2019 00:34

I know exactly how you feel OP. My cat Bonnie went missing recently and was found after 22 days shut in my neighbour’s greenhouse. She was ok, skinny and scared but she’s fine now.
Speak to your neighbours and ask them to check their sheds, garages and greenhouses WHILE YOU WAIT as sometimes people say they will check but forget or don’t bother. Most cats that go missing are found not far from home, so concentrate your search in that area.
I hope he’s home safe and sound very soon.

happinessischocolate · 21/12/2019 01:11

Our cat went missing for 3 days after being locked outside the front door, we eventually found him in the bush in the front garden. Still don't know why he didn't come out when we called him? But maybe as a PP said we didn't give him enough time and we'd gone back in by the time he emerged and then he gave up ? I had to get in the bush and pick him up as he refused to come out 🙁

teentree · 21/12/2019 01:17

Have you left the cat flap open? May sound obvious but you didn't say so thought it worth a mention? Also yes to the litter tray! Hope he shows up soon.

lifeisgoodagain · 21/12/2019 01:21

Sometimes cats do just move out ... we have one currently "living" in our shed (broken window) I suspect someone is worried about her but she's always there or taunting my dog through the patio doors, even came in my house a few times, found her eating dog food (he's free fed) when the dog was uncharacteristically off guard duty.

Skyejuly · 21/12/2019 08:11

The unknown is the worst :(

Skyejuly · 21/12/2019 08:14

As a few PP have said...sometimes I have found mine just sat in the bush outside the door but completely ignored all my calls. If it's raining or even a bit windy the wuss just hides until she feels like coming in xx

SuzieSunshine · 21/12/2019 09:06

Everytime I get a notification that there's a new post on this thread I'm hoping it's from the OP saying he's come home.

Ilovemypantry · 21/12/2019 11:45

@lifeisgoodagain
Re. the cat you’ve got living in your shed...is it possible you could get the cat to a vet to be scanned for a microchip? Or a local animal rescue group who would come and scan for you ( I’m a volunteer for a local group and go out to scan any strays ) ...it could be that he doesn’t live very far away or wandered a bit too far and his owners are looking for him. Or post his photo on FB and local groups.

Ilovemypantry · 21/12/2019 11:46

I second the advice about leaving the cat flap open all the time now so if he returns when you’re not there, he can get in.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 21/12/2019 11:48

If your cat has used a litter box, leave it outside in the garsen. I have heard it can work. Have you registered on one of these lost cat sites?

Dowser · 21/12/2019 11:58

Have you got a better photo op
I’ll put him in my radionics machine and send him some jack temple life force
Daughters cat went missing for three weeks this summer...then arrived home at 3 am one morning
Thinner but still well
I had her in the machine all or most of the time.
I got the Dowsers to help but as she moved around all the time, they were picking up her energy in different places and of course she would’ve moved on by the time the family could check the area
I’m useless at finding lost things.

fllinn · 21/12/2019 12:20

We lost our cat for several days (ok 3 days/nights but it felt longer) earlier this year and I was heartbroken. I put a poster up in the village shop, pub, and on all main junctions in the village. I put leaflets through several hundred letter boxes and posted everywhere on Facebook. We went out multiple times day and night calling him. Eventually I had a Facebook message from someone whose elderly next door neighbour said she had seen him meowing behind a fence at the village graveyard two mornings running.

The fence backed into the local school and it seemed he'd managed to get around a series of fences through gaps and round buildings then couldn't work his way back out again in the direction of our house, but could go further away into the fields beyond and back to the school again 🤦‍♀️ It is my children's school but he must have hidden when the children were around in the day. I went up there and rang his bell (he's trained to come to a bell which we'd ring before meals/treats) and he appeared almost instantly, super skinny and jumpy. I put a tracker on him since and realised he goes on two different walks almost daily - one in each direction across the fields near us. One that the school is the far end of and he still goes back and visits the school playground.

Can you look at the google maps and work out where he might have gone if going over fields hunting? Both my cats have a very distinct pattern of walking - they go around the edges of the fields not across the middle. Then trace his possible route looking for anywhere he might get lost or stuck?

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