MIL's Xmas present haul

[Squashpocket]

We won't be seeing my PIL between now and Xmas, so MIL has given DH the dc's presents ahead of the big day. I've just had a look in the box and there's loads. An absolute shitload. It's way more than we've bought.

My first reaction was 'wow, that's generous!'. But after a bit of reflection I'm now feeling a bit...pissed off.

I'm not really precious enough to do or say anything, but I'm still secretly annoyed that: 1) we've been upstaged (the dc wont notice who bought the gift)
2) it's setting unrealistic expectations for future years (they probably won't remember)

So, obviously IABU. Anyone else's families do this? Does it piss you off?

Nope. If they have the time and money to treat the gcs then knock yourself out. Make sure there is a thank you back from the kids via a home made card though.

My whole family goes ott at Christmas time, some people just love giving gifts. Doesn’t bother me what DDs grandparents buy (or how much they spend). We do speak to each other about gift though so we don’t buy her the same thing or Santa doesn’t bring her something which some else has already got her.

Nope. Be grateful. ExMIL spends about £10 on Dd, but ten times that in dn.
trouble is dd is now aware that Dn is the favourite...

Wouldn't annoy me in the least, would be bloody lovely! I mean not if it's oversized plastic tat but otherwise great

You will be told you are being ungrateful and "our kids get a bag of poo and a pack of sanitary towels every year, count yourself lucky"...but it REALLY fucks me off that people just won't ask what the kids want for Christmas. My mum is like your ILs just buys utterly useless copious amounts of shit. It's so wasteful (Things like a photo frame, or a key ring for a 4yo). So does their grandad on their dad's side. Their other granny, and their aunty on their dad's side, and my brother however always message me to make an Amazon wish list and they'll buy off that. It's so much easier! I think some people see it as rude though 🙄

If it’s anything like my mils haul, it’ll be tatt.

Could be a load crap wrapped up.

When dds were small we’d spread Christmas over 3 days. Dm celebrated Christmas Eve so they got a haul then, then on Christmas Day Santa’s presents and then everyone else.

Well I buy loads for grandaughters I see it as my privallage as there grandma .they are still pretty young so don't care who gives what .I do it also to help my son and daughter in law .some folk love buying .it's not about showing you up it's probably just live and helping her son

My MIL does this but it’s always charity shop tat. I have absolutely nothing against second hand stuff but she chooses absolute tat none of us would ever use. Last year she bought me a set of vampire books and some gold glittery high heels . DH thought it was hilarious, especially because she made us open them in front of her so I had to pretend to be happy about it. If you knew me you’d know I’m definitely not into vampire literature nor am I a glittery type... She wrapped up piles of crap for the DC, one of the gifts was a filthy Pudsey bear keyring for example .

My Mum is pretty bad for it too. She buys new stuff but it usually majorly misses the mark, rarely something we’d use.

And I always ask what they want not just some random tat

We have a hard boundary of one gift per child from everyone. It took a while for the grandparwnts to take us seriously but seeing all the crap they bought being donated changed their minds

I suspect we’ll be regarded as mean this year. One grandson aged 13 months is getting a wooden toy and a book, the other three who are older are getting Amazon vouchers/money. We tend to buy them presents when we see something they’d like throughout the year.

Well, she won't be there so you can plan how and when the presents are all given. I would give the children yours first while they're still at their most excited and interested. Save hers for later in the day, maybe.

Have a look and put some up for birthdays in the year to regift.

Others put in the stockings - pens crafts etc

This way the haul is reduced somewhat

Then make a pile for then kids to take to grandmas for when they visit.

Job done

I always go overboard with my niece and nephew.

Last year, got 6 year old niece about 20 presents...
This year, she only had about 7 or 8 because one of them is the "lol surprise" which was £130....

Nephew who is 2 has about 10 things this year, worth roughly the same amount...

As they get older i suspect i will only get 1 or 2 things for them as there tastes change and they want more expensive things, bikes, computers etc....

I buy for them throughout the year and if im not seeing them, will send things through the post, these could be anything from art and craft stuff to sweets , stickers, cars, clothes...
Niece has two magazine subscriptions a month semt to her

I enjoy spoiling them... There parents have never said anything, but dont think they mind....

My Mum used to do this when mine were small. She'd turn up with a black bin bag for each child...rammed with gifts. Thing is, some of them were stuff she'd got in sales through the year and might be a bit random or unsuitable.

Mine are 15 and 11 now and no lasting damage has been done. They don't really remember those days. They get about 12-15 things each from DH and I to open and Mum's now got dementia. So that part of their life is over....try to just spread them out over the day perhaps.

Put say 4 or 5 out in the morning.

Then over the day bring another out. You could do that over Boxing Day too.

MIL bought lots of presents for her DGC; what a bitch.

Is FIL not involved in this frightful present buying behaviour?

No of course he isn't. It's just the bloody MIL.

I agree with the plastic issue but find some of the comments really hurtful and nasty. My fantastic grandmother, who had very little money, bought throughout the year. On Christmas day she gave us a pillow full of presents and thought about our individual likes/dislikes. Highlight of our day, still really miss her. Not for the presents just her kindness and love for me and dsis.

I hate stuff I have too much and it makes me uncomfortable. But I like to spoil people so I understand that grandparents feel the need to go over the top. My kids are older now so family just chuck money at them, which I also dislike, maybe I am a grinch.

Yes, MIL does this. A profusion of presents, most of which DD doesn't want or need, and some of which are usually dangerous or inappropriate.

Then come January 1st, it's 'oh, I can't afford to come visit you, trains are so expensive, can you pay for a ticket' or 'I can't skype you properly on this bad phone, can't you buy me a new one so I can talk to my granddaughter?'

It infuriates me because she gives DD acres of tat, and I am sick of clearing up plastic residue, while also listening to her whinge about how poor she is and how tough it is for her to afford anything, when she has spent stupid amounts on presents for DD that are just status symbols.

I always make a point of getting the young ones lots of gifts because of the anticipation and excitement of opening them. Things I know they like but are not expensive.
I am rethinking that now.

God. But too much - trying to show you up. Buy too little - mean grandparents. No one can win.

Oh, and I also hate the argument that 'this is what children like!' or 'this is what I loved as a child'.

Bullshit.

What you loved as a child was feeling loved and cared for, and that is hugely important. But, I doubt your grandmother was so utterly incapable of human emotion that this was the only way she showed her affection. If you are remembering a lovely gran who spoiled you with wonderful presents, chances are you also remember other things about her. Chances are she wasn't just the person behind the sack of presents under the tree.

If you are buying masses of presents for a child out of some shallow memory of 'loving loads of gifts to unwrap!' or 'loving some fun on Christmas day!', then I suspect you have forgotten the crucial elements that made the presents you remember truly special.

Argh! Sorry, I made a bad cross-post there.

@Creepster, you sound lovely and I bet what you do is perfect.

My MIL does this and it’s always pound shop tat, I come from a family where we only got one or two gifts (as adults) but they are carefully thought out and quality items so the first year I found it really upsetting to be given such shit (and I didn’t think I was that kind of person, but apparently I am).

The gifts are so bad that DH now takes her gifts to the dining room, opens them, discards the worst (previous years have been an adult toothbrush for an 18 month old, a packet of off brand Kleenex wrapped in paper with a gift tag and last year a packet of dusters for me) then he rewraps the ok ones for us to open.

I had issues with my in laws doing the same
My kids are pretty humble and would rather spend time doing things than having things. I felt they were somehow “stealing out thunder “ with mountains of gifts... as the years have gone by I’ve realised that they were simply buying gifts they thought the children would love and making themselves happy with the fact they could afford to give so generously
Enjoy it, I’m sure the children will