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Original poster

Boyfriend cheating.. just found out..

871 replies

Beebeezed · 18/12/2019 21:19

Omg, I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend has gone out on a work do. I kept hearing a pinging coming from his office so I went in to mute whatever device it was and it was his iPad. Went to mute it and saw the message ‘can’t wait babe’ on the home screen. Obviously I opened it and have now found hundreds of messages between him and another girl. No idea who she is. Haven’t even looked into that yet. Just read the messages. He says he loves her. I have an 8 month old baby I feel sick please what shall I do from here? He’s just text me saying he misses me and I can see on the iPad he’s text her saying he misses her

OP posts:
EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 19/12/2019 06:58

You’re amazing OP, you’ve got this! Flowers

roiseandjim · 19/12/2019 07:00

@Beebeezed good luck well done for leaving! Your mum sounds amazing and like she will be your rock throughout this time x

Goodnightjude1 · 19/12/2019 07:01

Thank god for Mums eh?! Hope you get some rest OP. You’re handling this with amazing strength 💐

showmewhatyougot · 19/12/2019 07:02

Don't ever feel embarrassed! You have done nothing wrong! You have given this man 11 years and a baby! He's the one that should be embarrassed to be a stereotype looser!

Seriously well done for not putting up with this crap! So many women seem to loose their dignity and try to make excuses and stay with the cheating man! You will obviously be brave enough to find happiness again :)

Good luck and merry Christmas x

Ballstothisdotcom · 19/12/2019 07:02

OP you are doing really well.

I know exactly how you feel. And right now self care is the most important thing for you. You have had a huge shock so won’t have an appetite please try and eat little and often. You and the baby are the most important people in this right now and luckily you sound like you have an amazing mum.

God men are shit why are there so many of this in this position?

PosieParkerIsAHero · 19/12/2019 07:04

Hope you managed some sleep OP Flowers

OfMe · 19/12/2019 07:05

Well done OP - you've conducted yourself brilliantly, maturely, and sensibly which (from experience) I know is hard when your whole life is turned upside down by someone being so selfish and unthoughtful. Hope you manage to get some rest, and I hope you get the support you need from those around you to deal with this ... spineless jelly ..... of a man. I learnt the hard way, over a 12 year period, that cheating men rarely change, and all that forgiving them does is erode who you are until you are unrecognisable and it takes you a decade to get yourself sorted. Make sure you don't let him take financial advantage of you, and try to keep things as amicable as you can for the sake of the baby, but it's more than he deserves, really. Best of luck.

Hotpinkangel19 · 19/12/2019 07:05

I'm so sorry OP. Let your mum look after you ❤️

666onmyhead · 19/12/2019 07:08

I admire your classy exit . Sleep and stay strong.

elliemcx · 19/12/2019 07:08

you're so brave. sending love X

TrueRefuge · 19/12/2019 07:08

God what an absolute shit, I'm so very sorry. And for the way you found out... Just ugh!

You sound super strong, with your head screwed on; your little one is so lucky to have you! Remember him (I think you said he was a little boy?) And think, who do I want him to be when he grows up? Certainly not a spineless two-timer like this guy.

You are worth so much more than him. Well done you, you should be so proud. And I'm so glad you have what sounds like a wonderfully supportive mum. Hang in there, you have reacted brilliantly and you are going to come out of this with your head held high. Unlike some people....

FlowersCakeWine whichever you need!

FreshStart01 · 19/12/2019 07:12

Wow. So sorry you're going through this. Whatever he says, you are not in any way responsible for his behaviour which is contemptuous to say the least, and you are a strong, proud woman with self-respect who's setting a great example of how you should behave for your DS. I'm so glad you've got your DM, she sounds amazing too! You got this. Stay strong. Flowers

pollysproggle · 19/12/2019 07:15

Stay strong OP! You've done the right thing- utter bastard. Xx

Fcukthisshit · 19/12/2019 07:28

So sorry OP what a horrible thing to go through x

Horsepants · 19/12/2019 07:28

Being following this since the start. We'll done OP. Glad you have a lovely mum to support you. You sound strong even if you don't feel it at the moment. At least you found out. [flowersBrew

Sexnotgender · 19/12/2019 07:29

Fuck, I’m so sorry, what an absolute cock.

I’m glad you’ve got someone in real life with you.

MamaWeGotThis · 19/12/2019 07:36

I'm glad you've got your mum for support Thanks

OldEvilOwl · 19/12/2019 07:42

What a shock for you. So glad you have your mum for support. What a nasty piece of work he is, there is no lying his way out of this one

ChristmasSweet · 19/12/2019 07:43

You've nothing to be embarrassed by. He is the twat who cheated and has now lost everything apart from his bit on the side. He should be embarrassed.

WifOfBif · 19/12/2019 07:44

Let your mum look after you now and rest. Your update brought tears to my eyes, be strong and lean on people when you need to.

It’s his loss, I promise you that Flowers

Saddler · 19/12/2019 07:47

All the best to you what a horrible situation

Shauna044 · 19/12/2019 07:47

This is heartbreaking. I have a 5 month old. Also babies first Christmas. And if it isn't hard enough raising a baby. You have to deal with that. But even though you want to pretend everything is ok. For the sake of the baby and your happy family. You deserve better. Be strong. Pack his shit and bye bye. How did you get on?

Onescaredmuma · 19/12/2019 07:48

Well done op I think you handled the situation with complete dignity and grace. Mumsnet is a great place to get support in those late hours of the night and when you can't face real life but I'm really glad you had your mum able to come and be with you and that you've gone to hers. I hope you're getting some sleep. Try and not put a lot of pressure on yourself at the moment take your time to decide what you want. Mumsnet was amazing when my DH let me down awfuly (not cheating but debt that we will be paying of for next 11 years) and I'm sure loads of lovely ladies will offer the same to you. Let your mum take care of you today and just spend the day enjoying your baby.

MNHQ
MichaelMumsnet · 19/12/2019 07:50

Ta for the many reports, and big thanks to the Nightwatch for stepping in.

We've removed that post and banned the troll. We've also removed some of the stronger reactions and hopefully now the thread can continue on track.

Niki93 · 19/12/2019 07:51

Ive woke up this morning and read this to catch up. I went to bed thinking of you OP as ive experienced this before and its heartbreaking. But you’ve done the right thing. Well done.

You’re such a good role model to your son and he’s lucky to have you. It takes a bigger person to be calm an rational, im not sure i could have contained my self! Hats off to you. Go get your ducks in a row and stay strong xxx

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