To think that messaging someone at 4am is unreasonable

[Macaroni46]

So I've started chatting to a guy online. He seems very keen. Lots of flowery language, you're so beautiful etc lol but literally had only been messaging a few hours.
Gets to around 11pm I say I'm going to sleep now. Lots of flowery night nights from him but finally the messages stop.
Fast forward to 4.15am. I'm fast asleep and am abruptly woken by a message on my phone. I panic and think something's up with the DC (early 20s) or my ageing dad who's had some health scares recently.
I reply to the guy saying why are you messaging me at this time, you've woken me up? He replies saying what's my problem and he only wanted to wish me a good morning. (Or words to that effect). He goes on to say I should be grateful and happy he's thinking of me and I should apologise for being short with him (I told him I was not happy about being woken up). Told me in the country he's from a woman would be grateful to be woken up by a lovely message. I told him I didn't think so and that he'd disrespected my boundaries. I won't be continuing the conversation or meeting him as he sounds unhinged!
I'm now wide awake, fuming cos I'm awake and wondering, this isn't normal is it? I'm not unreasonable for being f'ing furious for being woken in the night (he argued that technically its morning) and for feeling creeped out?

Pardonwhat
Nope I just believe I shouldn't have to change something in my life so as to prevent people waking me up who don't have the common sense to know that 4am is a stupid time to contact anyone unless it's an emergency or crisis of some description.
Luckily neither me nor anyone I know have ever felt the need to do so yet still manage to keep in touch with each other at more reasonable times.

He sounds like a knob but I’d have my phone in do not disturb overnight if I don’t want to be woken.

I'd say you're totally unhinged 😂🙈

Listen to your gut. You have told him how you feel about his actions and he has invalidated them. This is gaslighting. No one gets to tell you how you feel about their actions. As all have said red flags.

Sounds like a total arsehole!

He sounds like a bonkers, psycho, controlling unbalanced nutter. And to everyone who thinks it’s okay to send a text while someone is most likely asleep it’s NOT. The sound always wakes me and I feel furious.

Willow2017

Luckily no one I know is as hysterical as you and would either a) turn over and go to sleep b) put their texts onto quiet of an evening in future

You were BU to kick off at him for disturbing you.

He was BU responding in the way he did.

sounds like a scammer.

there was a program on TV recently hosted by Kim something, singer can’t remember her name. Anyway, all the flowery language and ‘you’re beautiful’ stuff before he’s even met you sounds just like that. Loads of women being duped into ‘helping’ these men financially. Loads of lovebombing and outrage when challenged. He’d have been having a crisis to ‘get back home for a family emergency’ or some bollocks and asking for money from you within a week, by then you’re hooked.

Stalker. Block the number.

You could put your phone on silent if you don’t want to be disturbed, but his reaction makes him sound weird.

Hmm, I think you both over-reacted. But you perhaps did so first. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if you'd said "That was very sweet, but it woke me up, as I don't keep my phone on silent. Thanks, but please don't send me messages in the middle of ther night again." His response may be a flag-waving one, but then maybe he just felt hurt.

As for keeping your phone on during the night ... I get overnight text messages reminding me of appointments for the doctor and dentist, and alerts from the bank and other organisations. I assumed that everyone turns the phone on silent overnight.

@Christmasgravy didn’t realise you could do this!

Has he asked you to send him money yet!? It’s a con, sorry

Next he’ll be asking you to send money! Block!!

Pardonwhat, I really don't see where Willow2017 is being "hysterical". It's easy to see why you would leave your phone on, e.g. so you could be reached in case of emergency (as the OP was when her dad was rushed to hospital).

The fact he messaged at that hour wasn’t a red flag but his response was. So I think block!

Ooh Red Flag OP. Dodged a bullet there. Ive chatted to similar arrogant obnoxious needy and controlling. Abort mission asap!!!

@Willow2017 Of course you don't have to do anything. But if you refuse to leave your phone on all night, don't complain. We all have choices.

Imo turning the phone off is better for the environment, less gradual wear on the battery, and less electricity needed to charge it all the time (and don't get me started on those who always have their phone on recharge no matter what! )
Turning your phone off at night is good for the environment, good for your phone, and good for your sleep. Health and wellness studies recommend turning it off while you sleep. But it's your choice.

*But if you refuse to turn your phone off and choose to leave it on all night

arsehole filter not withstanding, phones should not be in bedrooms anyway. Turn the thing off or leave it downstairs. If you are someone's emergency contact then you should have a landline, a smartbrick is not reliable for this.

alarm clocks are available.

Thanks, Mencken but I’ll do what I like thanks.

@MysteriesOfTheOrganism Yep, I get those doctors and specialists referral appointment reminder texts, too. And I read them in the morning, when I turn my phone back on. I myself have in the past, texted people late at night, with the expectation they would read the text in the morning. It never occurred to me they would keep their phone on all night and it would wake them up.

Then you have to accept what comes with that, FlamingoAndJohn.

GET RID!