Using fork in right hand, knife in left..

[AG29]

I am aware it’s meant to be the other way round but I feel most comfortable with my fork in right hand and knife in left. The opposite feels uncomfortable and I was never taught any different growing up. It’s never caused me too many problems. I generally have good table manners.

My OH’s mum is a bit of a nightmare in general. If we eat there (not often thankfully but Christmas next week). She has told me to swap hands before but I don’t feel comfortable that way. To the point I avoid eating there as much as possible. OH reminds me to eat with fork in left if we are going over there too and I’m sick of being spoke to like a child.

Aibu to think they should just leave it be? Does it really matter. It’s not like I’m eating with my bloody hands!

Everyone should be free to express themselves by using their knife and fork in whatever hand they feel comfortable with.
stay strong, and remember when you use your fork in your right hand and your knife in your left hand at the table, you are doing it for all of us on here who do this as well. you are not alone =)

DD can’t use cutlery the right way round because of her dodgy hands. You can’t tell by looking at her. How sad for her she should never eat in public, or get a job where she might dine with clients, should expect complete strangers to assume she is low class and doesn’t know any better.

Pay no attention to the petty-minded bigots on this thread, joyfullittlehippo. Imagine how empty their lives must be.

As I said joyfullittlehippo, a genuine difficulty is a different matter.
What time did you post about your singlehandedness?

My DP uses cutlery the ‘wrong’ way round, and also turns his fork upside down and pushes food into it a bit like a spoon.

It provokes a kind of class prejudice in me that I’m not proud of, so I always suppress it.

Personally I've always quite liked 16th century table etiquette (and yes they were obsessed with etiquette and writing books on it back then too). Carry your own cutting knife, forks not invented yet, left hand for serving from the communal dishes and right hand for holding your own knife/spoon/finger food. Etiquette changes within countries as well as between them... There is no preordained, unchanging 'right' way. As other pp have said I suspect the current usage is a linked to lefthandness being linked to the devil (sinister=left) so when you settle on common form the one that is easier for right handed people is chosen.

Personally I was ambidextrous but settled down into writing with right hand but using knife in left. A few people have noticed in a curious 'oh you have you're knife the other way' fashion but thankful my friends aren't uptight and judgemental!

I was brought up by an Edwardian dad with so many ridiculous rules about this type of thing. And a mother who is fixated on her appearance in Debretts peerage. It has taken nearly 20 years of marriage to a more down to earth, substantially less narcissistic man to recognise a lot of the batshittery for its true batshiterriness!

My DH, who was dragged up and lacks education, has 4 degrees and was a high ranking military officer, where etiquette is usually pernickety. His ability to swap his cutlery between hands does not appear to have been career limiting or socially excluding.

"you're using the cutlery wrong..."
"Who gives a flying fuck?"

That should shut the fucking fuckers up.

ive taught my children correctly

Well then let’s hope you never leave the UK

This is the most ridiculous nonsense I’ve ever read!!
As for being turned down for a promotion because my boss sees my fork in the other hand, I just can’t. If my boss was that much of a dick I’d not want his/her promotion anyway.

My DH, my DS & my DB all eat with fork in right hand, knife in left. It’s just whatever feels right/natural for you.
No one ever makes a big deal out of it. They’ll just sit at the table and as they pick up their cutlery to eat, they just swap knife/fork over.
No big deal. Your MIL is just being picky (& somewhat rude!) by making a thing out of it.

ohhh but obviously I didn’t mean people who have a legitimate excuse for not doing etiquette properly!

@joyfullittlehippo don’t you just love the “oh, but I didn’t mean you, of course it’s ok for you” patronising bullshit.

a genuine difficulty is a different matter.
You couldn’t tell by looking at my DD but would judge her all the same.

Some of the replies on this thread MUST be taking the piss...

@MonkeyToesOfDoom =

Tell her that you Will swap hands if she does. When she tells you no because she is doing it the right way, tell her your way is right for you.
She wants to play a power game, show her she has no power.

As long as the food that you are eating reaches your mouth , comfortably, then it really doesn’t matter.
Given that an enormous percentage of the world’s population uses two sticks, and an even bigger proportion uses fingers, does it really matter?

I do it the way you do. I would never let anyone dictate to me how to use my cutlery!

Why on earth does it matter which hands you use?? Your OH's mother is being very rude, and your OH should support you. YANBU.

Apologies joyfullittlehippo. I would refute the accusation of being aggressive though. Not sure what you mean about dying on a hill.
The most aggressive posts on this thread have been directed at me and one or two other posters who hold their fork in their left hand!
Anyway, as I said, it’s been an eye opener.

Although taught “correctly” how to use cutlery DS prefers to use his fingers. He assures me he uses a knife and fork when visiting friends houses. He assures me Thais is for my benefit since he is saving time on washing up.

I have 4 dc and they all hold the fork in their right hand - they're all right handed. Mil used to make a fuss about not tracing them the correct way to use cutlery! Dh and I both hold fork in our left hands. It never crossed my mind to tell them it was 'wrong'

I have never ever and never ever will understand how it’s considered ‘bad manners’ to hold your knife and fork in the ‘wrong hands’.

It’s not objectionable or disgusting like talking with your mouth full, it’s not got the potential to knock things off the table like if you have your elbows on the table.

I also use mine the wrong way despite being right handed - however my left handed son uses them the other way! Go figure.

I think some left handed posters (me included) are having a very strong reaction to this because it implies there is something wrong with being the way we are. Forcing me to eat the ‘right’ way round would for me be the equivalent of forcing me to write with my right hand. Why is it that the cutlery configuration associated with left handers is the one that’s seen as ‘wrong’ or lesser?