Using fork in right hand, knife in left..

[AG29]

I am aware it’s meant to be the other way round but I feel most comfortable with my fork in right hand and knife in left. The opposite feels uncomfortable and I was never taught any different growing up. It’s never caused me too many problems. I generally have good table manners.

My OH’s mum is a bit of a nightmare in general. If we eat there (not often thankfully but Christmas next week). She has told me to swap hands before but I don’t feel comfortable that way. To the point I avoid eating there as much as possible. OH reminds me to eat with fork in left if we are going over there too and I’m sick of being spoke to like a child.

Aibu to think they should just leave it be? Does it really matter. It’s not like I’m eating with my bloody hands!

Gosh.

Can someone explain exactly why it is poor manners to hold cutlery in the opposite hands? No one is talking about using a knife like a pen or any other issues but simply holding a knife and fork the opposite way around to usual.

Why is this rude, ill mannered or uneducated?

It’s clearly some thing a number of posters on here feel strongly about - i’d Very much appreciate an understanding of why they believe it to be so as I am not rude I’ll mannered or uneducated so don’t quite fit with the assumed stereotype and would like to know what the judgement is based on.

Or is simply a snobbery-marker that causes no harm to others, and is not actually reflective of a person’s education or manners, but one that some people use in an attempt to feel superior?

I also wonder how many of the judgemental posters done internationally or with people of different abilities? Do you also consider these people poorly educated and ill-mannered?

Veterinari I've asked that question a couple of times, including 'who decides?'

No-one seems to know. It's as though they just follow the 'rule' like sheep

One of my old school friends eats this way, her parents are chartered accountants and she’s a scientist/lecturer with a PhD. I must be sure to tell her she lacks education, class and social skills.

I am extremely left handed and have always eaten the left-handed way. Not a single person has ever commented on it or tried to correct me.

Anyone who publicly passes comment on how someone else holds their cutlery (provided they’re eating tidily) is a tedious Hyacinth Bucket.

Can someone explain exactly why it is poor manners to hold cutlery in the opposite hands?

It's not in the real world.

This is another of those MumsNet things.

Well, if you were never taught correctly by your parents or school - it's a bit late now!

veterinari An earlier poster did ask about holding knives like pens, but I don’t think anyone responded.

If mil says anything again I’d stab her hand with the fork. CF.

I think an earlier poster is probably correct to say that this is a hangover from the days when being left-handed was seen as a fault that needed correcting. If you actually take the time to think about it, there is nothing which makes holding your knife in your right hand ‘better’ - it’s simply a mixture of convention and prejudice.

What nonsense. American style — which is perfectly ‘correct’ in etiquette terms — involves cutting up some food with the knife in the right and the fork in the left hand, then laying down the knife on the plate edge, switching the fork to your right hand, and eating what you have cut up. Other way round if you’re left-handed.

These things are pretty arbitrary.

A couple of my colleagues do this and I do think ‘dragged up’ . I blame my Father as he would correct me doing exactly this or holding my knife like a pencil, or any other supposed etiquette breach... and he’s infected me!

I'm left handed and hold my fork in my left hand. I do everything with my left hand. Im amazed how many people on this thread hold such outdated views on social etiquette. I've been trained in using silver service, social decorum ect and come from a long line of such people. The only difference is I don't hold to the old church belief of right handed dominance due to lefties being of the devil.
Op, I'd seriously tell your mil that she is forgetting herself and is being rude, if manners mean that much to her

Oh another charmer I see .

My parents DID try to TEACH me . Its not a matter of knowing or not, for me, its how I EAT .
Christ , I am going to a restaurant on Thursday and hope no judgy pants MNers are in there glaring at me for eating differently to them.

Dragged up ? Charming

Is it really that important how you use your knife and fork? As long as you aren't picking your nose and scratching your arse with them at the table why does it matter?

Due to my aforementioned disabilities I often have to eat with just a fork. Should I stop eating in restaurants because it's seemingly so offensive?

Panicovereveryone Put your armour on..
I felt like you. This has been a real eye opener for me - so many people feeling it’s irrelevant and unimportant.
It’s difficult to shake off the behaviour that was expected of you as you grew up.

Dragged up ? Charming

Well it’s what pops into my head, not what I say out loud. We are all products of our upbringing. I think it more of an affliction, but take offence if you wish.

‘Dragged up’? I’m sorry but fuck off. I have siblings who eat the right-handed way, and my upbringing was identical to theirs - the only difference is that I am left handed and find it easier to cut food using my dominant hand.

An obsession with ‘etiquette’ is terribly non-U, you know.

I couldn't give a stuff what hand one uses for what utensil..

However Debretts tells us all manner of things about dining and generally speaking the reasons for all the rules are, consideration for the other diners.

So you hold your knife with the handle hidden and not like a pen (hiss spit boooooo) not because it looks nicer, but because you cut more effectively and are less likely to send food flying across the table if held properly.

If we all hold our knives and forks in the same hands, we are less likely to inadvertently clash elbows with the persons seated to either side of us.

If we keep our elbows off the table, we don't risk encroaching on the space of the person beside us.

And whilst doing something 'the wrong way' may be frowned upon, I am fairly certain Debretts has stronger words for those who would take it upon themselves to be so rude as to actually comment on someones errors!

An affliction?? Good Lord. Mumsnet never ceases to amaze me.

joyfullittlehippo - my post at 2000hrs.