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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

UCAS utterly unfair

626 replies

Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 18:25

My third child is filling out his UCAS form and as happened with his sister he has to put the highest earner in the household on the form, which will affect his loan, this isn’t me it’s my DH who is not father to any of my children.

He is still paying maintenance for his own children and is not financially responsible for mine, how on earth is this fair?

OP posts:
FizzyIce · 17/12/2019 19:03

It will be hard going and by 3rd year practically impossible as the uni work load is just crazy along with revision .
It’s tough and people just don’t really understand, you can’t just magic money up from somewhere , I have another child to support too

HowDeepIsYourGlove · 17/12/2019 19:04

@Trewser no OP and the children’s biological fathers are financially responsible for them. No one else, not in the eyes of the law either, only for student finance apparently.
It’s unfair really.

Trewser · 17/12/2019 19:04

HowDeepIsYourGlove as I said, i thought they had three kids in total between them, sorry got that wrong.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 19:05

I can’t register him with his dad unfortunately as he’s “between homes” atm Hmm

OP posts:
SarahMused · 17/12/2019 19:08

howdeepisyourglove is correct. Register him at his Dad’s or get him to help out with the necessary payments to top up whatever loan he gets. Don’t forget, it is residual income that is used in the calculation, SLC take account of dependent children including those at university when the loan is worked out.

titchy · 17/12/2019 19:08

The alternative would be separated parents both having their incomes determining loan amount - I'm sure most of us have seen enough MN threads about absent uninvolved fathers to realise that wouldn't work.

So the system uses the same criteria as all other income dependent benefits.

SarahMused · 17/12/2019 19:10

Sorry, cross post. But he has a while to get and address. You can make changes to the application right up to when the loan is paid.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 19:10

It would make sense if it was based on the RP’s income.

OP posts:
ThemoonisanAmericanism · 17/12/2019 19:10

A step parent is a resident parent.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 19:10

He has just sold his house with his current wife and is moving quite a long way away to live with family.

OP posts:
Tinkobell · 17/12/2019 19:11

I agree it's unfair and actually very outdated. But in fairness to UCAS I can't begin to think how systems could be set in place to ensure that your DH doesn't give you any money at all from which your DC's could be beneficiaries? It would be near impossible to police and I suppose the government have to have some way of ensuring the funds go to the neediest even though the tool is very blunt.

Tinkobell · 17/12/2019 19:14

Given the astronomical rates of compound annual interest that these students have to repay, I'm amazed they're so choosy over the awarding criteria.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 19:14

A step parent isn’t a resident parent, he has no legal right over my son and tbf he is forces so lives elsewhere to complicate things further.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 19:15

DD didn’t go in the end, she opted to get a job and do an OU degree.

OP posts:
theunknownknown · 17/12/2019 19:16

No but whilst he is your DH and he is the main earner he does have a moral obligation to your children I think. He married you which extends to a responsibility to them imo. (And the same the other way around of course)
But the unfair thing about this is that the application is asking for the income details of a step-father who may have thrown his hat in and taken responsibility for the op's children. But if the children are applying to uni, they will be 18 at the time that they start. They are adults. I think the process is a complete joke.
In our case, I am a widow, I earn too much for my daughter to be eligible for a full loan but not enough to help her make up the difference.
The system is a total joke - in no other scenario would this be acceptable. I can't even phone my GP to make an appointment for my daughter because she is an adult. She can marry, she can join the army. But apparently I'm still financially responsible for her.
I do everything I can to support my daughter and I do not subscribe to the common mn mantra of once they are 18 you don't need to parent. But this system is shite.

HowDeepIsYourGlove · 17/12/2019 19:17

@Iwasneveragoddess so? Your son can still be registered at their address.
If he gets ill you can take him to an nhs walk-in centre if he’s registered at a doctors near his dad’s home.

And no @ThemoonisanAmericanism a stepparent is not a resident parent. They may be a caregiver but legally they are not classed as a parent unless the biological parents agree for them to have parental rights legally.
He is their mothers husband, their stepdad but not their parent.

IdiotInDisguise · 17/12/2019 19:19

You are right to say it is very outdated, in these times of “gender equality” and high rates of divorce, where women are expected to keep separate accounts and pay their half even when most of us earn far less than men in the same roles, the people from student loans are expecting the man to be an affluent gentleman who will take all financial worries away from the poor damsel in distress and her kids.

ThemoonisanAmericanism · 17/12/2019 19:19

Resident parent isn’t about legal rights though. It is simply about who the child lives with.

The law treats married couples incomes as joint in very many situations. It is one of the main reasons marriage exists as a legal institution.

If people want to treat their finances as separate for personal reasons, as long as their partner has their basic needs met, that’s their choice.

But that shouldn’t alter how the law treats married couples, or women will lack protections when it comes to divorce.

GiantKitten · 17/12/2019 19:20

My kids are in their 20s & 30s now but when they applied, 3 of them had friends with wealthy (very wealthy) but divorced parents

In each case the mother was with another wealthy man, but didn't work so had no income, & wealthy stepfather's income didn't count.

The fathers were also wealthy, but they didn't live with him so his income didn't count either.

They all got max finance and at least one of them thought it was hilarious that they got more than my kids when we were more or less skint Angry

These students were applying in approx 2000, 2006 & 2011.

Have the rules changed?

Trafalger · 17/12/2019 19:21

I work in HE and I agree that the system is bonkers. You are expected to support your son/daughter at uni but if you called up and asked how they were doing on their course that you are part funding you are not allowed to be told any information as they are adults and its not your business. At the most it should be based on the residential biological parent.

I would say 90% of students have a part time job. Even in their final years. Most parents can't afford to completely subsidise the costs at uni more than the odd food parcel and stuff.

HowDeepIsYourGlove · 17/12/2019 19:22

@ThemoonisanAmericanism it has nothing to do with marriage.
If I lived with my mother then her income would be taken into consideration for my children’s student finance applications.
DP lives with me, no plans to marry and his will be taken into consideration.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 19:22

It doesn’t make any difference if you are married or live together, and “living together” doesn’t always mean living under the same roof in the eyes of the DWP.

OP posts:
krustykittens · 17/12/2019 19:22

I agree, OP, it is ridiculous. Adults applying for finance should be judged on their own income, not their parents and certainly not that of a step-parent. I wonder how many people end up not going to uni because their parents cannot afford the contribution? Part time jobs are not easy to find these days either.

Soontobe60 · 17/12/2019 19:23

You marriednthis man, for richer for poorer. If he can't step up and help support younwhilst you support your DS then he's not the man for you. That's blended families for you 🤷🏼‍♀️

HowDeepIsYourGlove · 17/12/2019 19:23

@ThemoonisanAmericanism you’re confusing household and “resident parent”, they mean two very different things legally