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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

UCAS utterly unfair

626 replies

Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 18:25

My third child is filling out his UCAS form and as happened with his sister he has to put the highest earner in the household on the form, which will affect his loan, this isn’t me it’s my DH who is not father to any of my children.

He is still paying maintenance for his own children and is not financially responsible for mine, how on earth is this fair?

OP posts:
Runningonempty84 · 17/12/2019 20:31

And this is why kids from poorer families stay at home to study, and aren't afforded the same opportunities as those from wealthy families. The system perpetuates inequalities.

rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 20:32

What if we weren’t married?

It doesn't make any difference, you are still in the same household.

And we can’t actually afford it either, or to make the same offer to our other 5 children

you don't have to, it only applies to ones who live with you.

noideaatallreally · 17/12/2019 20:35

I'm not sure how this situation is different to that of any household where the income level means the student has to be supported? Your DH will have his income taken into account for your one child, but not for the two of his own?

The whole system is unfair - but no different for step parents/ parents/ single parents. It's based on household income. I fell strongly that students from households with very low income should get as much help as possible, but those households that can afford it have to pay.That is the system.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 20:35

To pay to put one child out of 6 through Uni is utterly unfair and we wouldn’t dream of it.

OP posts:
lifeisgoodagain · 17/12/2019 20:36

Ucas doesn't do money, it's just statistics at this stage. Student finance doesn't open until April/May. For student finance you have to list the household income and get an allowance for supporting other children

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 17/12/2019 20:36

Also part of the reason the govt shifted how universities were funded was a deliberate intent to make the student the "customer". If you are paying an arm and leg, you are more likely to expect more from the establishment and complain if your needs are not met. Furthermore when something is expensive people make more considered decisions. If the return on investment is poor for a particular course , you are clearly going to question whether its a good idea to select that course. This helps ensure the govt aren't simply paying for low value courses.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 20:37

We can’t afford to pay, and DS is being disadvantaged because of who I married, not because of who either of his biological parents are.

OP posts:
oohnicevase · 17/12/2019 20:38

How does this work ? Dh is a high earner and dd will go to uni in 2022.. I'm worried , we are not rich but on paper as the breadwinner it's not going to look great for us is it 😬

ThemoonisanAmericanism · 17/12/2019 20:38

There are scholarships for children from forces families.

rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 20:39

To pay to put one child out of 6 through Uni is utterly unfair and we wouldn’t dream of it.

It's not unfair at all, you don't have to pay a maintenance contribution for children who don't live with you. There is not obligation to do so, however if you choose to then that is up to you. You can let them take the maintenance loan they get according to their mother's income since they are not part of your household and then help in other ways, the odd grocery shop etc.

Genevieva · 17/12/2019 20:39

Years ago a friend of mine got a letter from her parents renouncing all financial responsibility for her now that she had finished school. Their reasoning was that they didn't go to university. It was her choice and she should fund it if she wanted it. They weren't unloving. They were willing for her to visit or live with them and pay rent. They just took the view that they weren't legally and financially responsible for an adult. Consequently, she was assessed for a grant on the basis that she had no parental support.

SouthWestmom · 17/12/2019 20:39

Its a shit system but i don't think it matters if you are a step parent or not. It's ridiculous that parents/step parents are expected to fund the uni costs.

As for poorer kids being affected badly as a pp said, not our experience at all. Dd had shared bathroom (minimum loan) and cheapest accommodation, worked summers to top up loans. The full loan kids had en-suite accommodation and were much better off.

ThemoonisanAmericanism · 17/12/2019 20:40

It doesn’t matter which person is the high earner. It is based on the joint incomes of the parent the child lives with and their partner. Same as for child benefit, tax credits etc.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 20:40

He’s not a forces child, he’s not classed as that (neither are DH own kids Hmm )

OP posts:
rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 20:41

What Noeuf said. Chances are they will never pay it all back either, most people don't.

OP, I get that you can't afford to pay for six but nothing in the system is expecting you to pay for all six unless they live with you

TabbyMumz · 17/12/2019 20:42

"And this is why kids from poorer families stay at home to study, and aren't afforded the same opportunities as those from wealthy families. The system perpetuates inequalities."
But it doesnt, if you earn less, they get more of a loan. I dont see how they cant afford to go?

HairyFloppins · 17/12/2019 20:42

It's a very unfair system. DH's income is good on paper but we have a lot of outgoings. My DD will have to go to a local uni as we just can't afford to top up accommodation costs.

Interestedwoman · 17/12/2019 20:42

Presumably he helps you out in general and contributes to stuff. The expectation of UCAS is that he will help the kids out.......maybe you should let him know that if he genuinely isn't offering, as your husband and someone who could help them? I mean, presumably he's known them a while and been part of bringing them up. I'm sure you'd like to think he would help them if he could (which he can.)

BlouseAndSkirt · 17/12/2019 20:42

It takes a very cut and dried view of marriage: that marriage entails sharing all assets and finances equally.
Legally, when you are married, your money is jointly owned.
That's what the vows mean.

But I do sympathise, back in the real, modern, contemporary world.

Because the finance also doesn't take into account a father who lives away from his kids but is willing and able to pay the student costs.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 20:43

I’d actually like to think that Ds dad will help, rather than DS step dad.

OP posts:
snowball28 · 17/12/2019 20:44

We have four kids and I’m dreading this, hopefully we can save enough to help them all out for a few years 😑

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 17/12/2019 20:44

We do have shared finances - I just don’t think on principle that DH wage should be taken into consideration when DS has a living father who has paid (paltry) maintenance.

We can not afford to support him anyway.

OP posts:
rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 20:45

If you DS's Dad helps then that is a bonus, an added extra. It won't stop your DH being expected to help.

xlkhs · 17/12/2019 20:47

it’s because of previous piss taking

Rich dad (divorced NRP, not taken into account)
Rich step dad (not taken into account)
Mum not working (income 0)

Full student finance obtained, despite wealthy situation. Someone I know did it years ago.

jarjarjam · 17/12/2019 20:51

I won’t comment on the main point. But don’t worry about your son working during his course (unless it’s Oxbridge?). I’m a lawyer from low income background and I worked every year of my LLB then post grad. I also had time for volunteer placement relevant to my course and had plenty of time to spend “socialising”. I got a good degree and job. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a fellow lawyer who didn’t work at some point during their course. From recruitment perspective it’s seen as really positive that someone has been working as well studying. All jobs, including retail and bar work, allow people to gain a lot of basic but important transferable skills and has made the difference in past to a panel I was on when choosing which candidates to take on.

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