If you attend a parent-run playgroup but don’t volunteer, what makes you think you’re so special?

[asdapryce]

The group I chair is run by parent volunteers and will have to close after Easter unless the parents who attend week in, week out agree to go on the volunteer rota and help occasionally.

I don’t understand why they don’t. It’s a group for parents of multiples - we’ve all got 2+ babies and mostly other children too; we’re all tired; we’re all busy but we all benefit hugely from the support of the group yet literally no one has put their name forward to be on the committee after Easter and get involved in the week to week running of the group after Easter.

Not to mention the support we offer to expectant mothers of multiples in terms of running a talks with our local hospital and for all local twins+ parents through a large, active Facebook support group and a twins+ buy/sell/donate site.

What makes people happy to take take take and never give back? I’m genuinely interested.

Indeed

They’ve got sod all interest in doing it ?

Only got page 4 but really wanted to chip in

It might be the opening up and shutting down that is the problem. Couldn't you have people allocated to do that and then everybody else can help with all the leg work?

I agree with you OP. I think you are getting a lot of defensive comments on here from people who haven't helped out very much at playgroups.

I have never been an official volunteer but I've always made it my business to help out at playgroup regardless of having two small children with me. My children are very unruly and I still managed to help out with with tidying up toys, stacking chairs, wiping down the tables , collecting up bits of old toast, washing up. It's exactly like it is at home, you know you get on with parenting and tidying up, putting out new activities, food etc.There are a few who are only able to do one task at a time and focus on childcare. Some kids are high needs. But this is a minority. I think most people are capable of cleaning up after themselves and and still managing to parent their children. So why when you go to a playgroup would you act like it's somebody else's turn to serve you?

It's astounding that some people think that £2.50 is a paid-for service? Perhaps some take it for granted and not appreciate that the groups are actually been done for their benefit by socially minded people.

Volunteer should not mean dogsbody. If everyone did a bit it would be easy.

PND

If the playgroup is set up as charging for admission,it is a paid for service
A cash fee has been charged to attend group,use WC,participate in group
If it hasn’t been made explicit that participants are expected to tidy up,chip in then you cannot berate them for not doing so

I did this for a while. Not obvious to most people, but I am disabled and was struggling to cope. No way could I commit to anything regular.

Also, now I don't do much of the practical help at, say, PTA, like putting up marquees and standing on stalls. Instead I 'give back' by using my skills and physical (dis)abilities in a more logical way, by on-line mentoring deprived students. But most won't see that.

It's obviously a token amount. It's not like tumble tots or Kiddaz (showing my age😊) where it was more expensive and a service was provided with staff running it as a business.

Like subs in scouts etc. We still used to help on a rota every term and I was always very grateful to the volunteers who gave up their time to help my ds

Some people are just takers, they don't see anything wrong with it because they are used to putting their own needs first always.

You can't expect or rely on people to volunteer and you need to find a way to make the group work without it or stop the group.
Sounds tough but if it goes on then your internal resentment could have a very negative impact on someone who is already suffering.
Good luck.

And THIS is the reason I don't attend baby groups.

And some people harbour simmering resentment and gripes.
They don’t articulate what they actually want they just expect others to telepathically know
And it’s all steeped in disgruntled language of takers,selfish,lazy,entitled

Because some don’t understand concept of volunteer eg it’s mandatory not obligatory

If you have unsaid rules,preferences or expectations don’t be surprised when people, don’t know or comply with your unspoken rule,preferences

Well we used to volunteer at a group, then the woman started being horrid to us and the kids, attitude for miles. So we all stopped helping then eventually sodded off and found a new one and we were happy to help out again. I have a feeling it could well be your attitude op

Yup op probably radiates a bad vibe all that simmering anger,thinking people are horrible

It has been really good to read this thread, as I've been recently asked if I could restart some community family events...... and my resolve had been wobbling.....I'd forgotten how entitled and argumentative people get when they pay a token sub or even when it is completely laid on for free.

I think I will use my time to read a good book, enjoy the latest book set instead :)

Box set not book!

I set up a non profit baby group when I had 2 under 2. I didn't get a wage. I don't know what I was thinking but I had moved to a new town and thought it would be a way to make friends.

I had to stop after 2 years. Combination of a lack of helpers and people being so nit picky. I just wanted to meet some people with babies of a similar age. I didn't expect the rudeness and feeling like shit.

I did meet some lovely people though but good God, I was not prepared for the others.

None of this is unsaid! Not sure where that assumption has come from. There have been posts on our FB group and announcements at playgroup about Committee vacancies and the need for volunteers for group. I’m not just slicing grapes and giving people evils.

@redngreentinsle out of interest when you run group do you explicitly state what you want expect?
Or do you just hope people share your preference and comply with your wishes?
If you genuinely think participants are entitled and argumentative I’d suggest you don’t work with the public. Your bad opinion will radiate and people will pick up your disapproval

No play group I’ve attended asks participants to undertake tasks.
a fee is charged that’s it
There’s no FB blurb,no notification of expectation. No direct approach made

Fright
Many people I have found are frightened of failing, frightened they can’t do very simple things
I was amazed when people I know told me they wouldn’t do this or that due to confidence
It’s nothing to do with not wanting to help but sometime not always, due to shear fear and total lack of confidence

red ..... you are just case in point, laughing out loud right now with your " I suggest you don't work with the public".

It's not work, work pays you. You have demonstrated repeatedly that you do not comprehend how community groups, functions work.

It is implicit / there is difference between paid work and community engagement/volunteering/helping out - without getting paid..... a community group is a defined standard under the Charities commission... go educate yourself instead of talking down to people who have at least got off their backside at some point and tried to do something in their communities.

The ‘entrance fee ‘ is to cover the expenses it does not in itself cover the small amount of work that needs to be done to keep the group running smoothly. For those saying employ someone this is not as easy as it seems with employment laws minimum wage legislation etc .

Taking a turn to open up and buy the snack is just the way the group keeps going . We made friends by helping each other , some of my best and most supportive friends when my children were small were made by being on a rota of volunteers. For the record I also had PND and a job and a dh who was never home but that toddler group and the community surrounding it kept me sane .

I do find it odd that people see things in a purely financial transactional way, my oldest is 26 , all groups were pretty much run this way when he was small . There were very few of the franchise business type groups, tumble tots had just started I think . But they were expensive and most people went to volunteer run groups in village halls , church rooms and scout huts .

I used to volunteer, PTA, Baby group when my DC were little, and in Girlguiding.
I became a Commissioner for Girlguiding in an extremely over subscribed area, I spent a long time trying to organise volunteers to keep groups open and keep the waiting lists as short as possible. At one point I was running three groups myself to give as many girls as possible the opportunity. It was insane.

I used to feel like you OP, but I really turned a corner a few years ago. I realised the constant asking for help was making me bitter.
I now really don't care whether you volunteer or not. I don't care why/why not. I no longer judge or care whether they are a don't want to or can't. If I don't have the volunteers to run something, I don't run it and I make no apologies and refuse to feel guilty. If someone comes to me and says they would love to help but they work full time/have a baby/have any other issue, I will bend over backwards to find a role suitable for them. I soon find out if they are serious about wanting to help.

I do understand that some people want to join activities and not help out. That's fine, but don't ever complain there isn't activities or groups to go to.

I am much happier now!

The baby group I attended was great but I was so low in confidence and had severe pnd I was terrified to volunteer. Nothing about thinking I was special .

@redngreentinsle your ill tempered outburst and describing the public as entitled and argumentative people this really does illustrate your unsuitability to work with people, or be interacting with the public

And best of all you appear to lack insight into your very apparent shortcomings
Just think, you get this aerated online. No wonder you experience people as entitled and argumentative, your hostility probably initiates a dreadful atmosphere

No doubt you’ll retaliate with some barbed comments and process this as it’s someone else cannot be you