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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be dreading a crap Christmas dinner?

207 replies

Napqueen1234 · 17/12/2019 07:09

Prepared to be told IABU as I should be grateful to get one at all/someone to cook for me. Basically we alternate years with MIL and my family and this year it’s my in laws. For context I’m 8 months pregnant so as a non drinker food is v important to me this year 😂.

My MIL is a terrible cook and takes no joy in hosting. We offered to host but were declined (DH family all 5 mins away from each other and we are 40 mins from there so it’s easier for them I suppose). Won’t cook food she doesn’t like e.g sprouts, pigs in blankets so we end up with a dry turkey crown, not much veg as she doesn’t like it and just a slightly depressing meal.

My dad loves Christmas and goes all out is good cook etc. I just feel so sad to be missing out on my normal Christmas meal the other years it hasn’t bothered me and is obviously part and parcel of taking turns and just life etc but this year I just feel gutted.

Snap me out of this ultimate first world problem please! We have offered to Help (we are making a hamper as a Christmas present of treats and taking Christmas pudding etc so have tried that!). My DH is an only child and not going/ having lunch at home is not an option!

OP posts:
Pigletthedog · 17/12/2019 07:12

Id just take the stuff I wanted. Pigs in blankets? Oh, I can't get enough of those this pregnancy. Sprouts? Full of iron for the baby. Etc etc

Good luck!

malificent7 · 17/12/2019 07:12

Insist on taking sides like pigs in blankets etc and get.your dh to enforce yummy food...offer to xook it yourself if necessary.

BobTheBauble · 17/12/2019 07:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itsboiledeggsagain · 17/12/2019 07:14

Is just get over it and eat the nice food around Xmas day.
And remember that next year your baby will eat first Xmas Dinner at your parents.
Perspective.

EmrysAtticus · 17/12/2019 07:14

Would she accept you offering to buy in from M&S or something if she hates cooking?

DisplayPurposesOnly · 17/12/2019 07:15

Offer to cook the meal at her house (and take all the nice stuff that you want)?

RhymingRabbit3 · 17/12/2019 07:16

My MIL doesn't cook the sort of christmas dinner I like - dry turkey and overcooked veg. I just eat it anyway, make the right noises, and make a delicious roast myself with all the trimmings the next day. It's really not a big deal.

DartmoorDoughnut · 17/12/2019 07:16

Take the pigs in blanket with you and play the “the baby wants them” card

EpicDay · 17/12/2019 07:20

Sooo sympathetic. My sister and I have basically pulled every stunt available to avoid one particular family member hosting because he can’t cook and we both love food. It’s got hilariously ridiculous that we start discussing in June what cast iron reason there is this year for why they “must” come to us instead. No solutions really (except that with a baby next year you really will have a good reason to stay home).

OddBoots · 17/12/2019 07:25

In your shoes I would plan to make my own Christmas dinner at New Year (or in the days before) so you have it to look forward to so in your mind you can just treat the meal on Christmas Day as a warm up rather than the main thing.

Squigean · 17/12/2019 07:27

I can absolutely sympathise with how you feel. It's a real disappointment (be it a first world one) when a meal isn't good.

I think seeing you won't have a choice you'll have to suck it up. Will you see your dad afterwards? Could he save you a plate of his dinner?

As already suggested enjoy the food either side. Also I think as itsboiledeggsagain, your child's first Christmas will be a good foodie one so focus on that as a positive!!

Is this your first baby? If so you can use it to your advantage for future years in getting MIL to your house instead (you don't want to travel, do want keep your child in their home) - this could be the last year of dry turkey crown!

Caiti19 · 17/12/2019 07:30

YANBU to have those feelings. My side of the family cares a lot more than my husband's side about calibre of food. When I was pregnant, my passion became next-level.

In your shoes, I would work on "psyching myself down" in advance - set your expectations low for Christmas Day itself. I'd possibly bring dish of sprouts myself if it wouldn't offend the host.

But on 26th, or later date, I'd find a way to experience the dinner I really wanted - whether that's with your Dad, just you and husband or whatever...... with the sprouts, parsnips, carrots, sweet potato, maybe butternut squash.....drool.

Some people have a more functional/practical approach to food. Just one of those things.

AltheaVestr1t · 17/12/2019 07:37

Agree with the other posters. Grin and bear it, then make your dream Christmas dinner the next day. Crown Grin

Disfordarkchocolate · 17/12/2019 07:37

Why do people who don't like to host host? We have guests this year so I'll be cooking 7 vegetables so everyone has their favourites, I don't like 4 of the vegetables but I'm doing them anyway!

Do a nice meal on Boxing Day and look forward to next year. Or get your Dad to plate up his nice dinner for you. Hungry now Smile

Happygoldfinch · 17/12/2019 07:40

Maybe now is the time to start saying that as a (possibly new?) family you remain at home on Christmas Day. My DP and I started with that as soon as our first DC came along, and it has been brilliant. No anxiety, no awkwardness - we just have a brilliant day with just the 5 of us, being silly and relaxed. Both sets of GPs understand, or at least knew better than to challenge it.

Ihavethefinalsleigh · 17/12/2019 07:42

It’s only one meal, woman up. 💐

Iloveacurry · 17/12/2019 07:43

Look in the bright side, next year you get to spend your baby’s first Christmas with your family!

Heismyopendoor · 17/12/2019 07:45

I’m with happy time to start staying at home by yourselves.

queenqueenqueen · 17/12/2019 07:46

Sounds exactly like my MIL and it's crap for you, but you may have to suck it up and do a decent roast on boxing Day xx

Blondebakingmumma · 17/12/2019 07:46

I agree with pp. take the dishes you are really craving and blame it on the baby

courderoy · 17/12/2019 07:54

Yep just make yourself a Christmas dinner on another day. Hopefully there will be lots of other Christmassy food around on the day itself

I would be happy for Christmas dinner to be beans on toast so long as it wasn’t my responsibility!!

OrangeLola · 17/12/2019 07:55

Pre-cook all the trimmings and pop them in the microwave to warm up so you're not in the way of the 'chef'. Better make extras as you may find you're not the only one wanting sprouts and pigs-in-blankets (drool).

PineappleDanish · 17/12/2019 07:58

We had Christmas dinner at MIL's once. It was awful. She can't cook so we had turkey cremated the day before and served cold with grey veg and a slice of bisto gravy.

I asked where the bread sauce was - response was "Oh, FIL doesn't like it". I had had a few glasses of wine to cope with the entire situation and said something along the lines of "Stuff him, what about the rest of us?"

That went down well.

Molly2016 · 17/12/2019 08:00

At least the food is in date. My PiL never chuck any food out. Just recently they put horseradish on the table. When someone said it tasted funny we checked the use by and it went out of date about 3 years ago.
My DH often comes away with a dodgy tummy and still refuses to speak to the, about it for fear of offending.
I just eat as little as possible there.
The Xmas dinner is a healthy version. So we get one potato each, because apparently they are unhealthy. You end up with a plate of turkey and veg. It’s proper depressing.

flowerstar19 · 17/12/2019 08:00

But on the upside you will get Baby's first Christmas with your family next year and by then baby can tuck into your Dad's yummy roast!