To be dreading a crap Christmas dinner?

[Napqueen1234]

Prepared to be told IABU as I should be grateful to get one at all/someone to cook for me. Basically we alternate years with MIL and my family and this year it’s my in laws. For context I’m 8 months pregnant so as a non drinker food is v important to me this year 😂.

My MIL is a terrible cook and takes no joy in hosting. We offered to host but were declined (DH family all 5 mins away from each other and we are 40 mins from there so it’s easier for them I suppose). Won’t cook food she doesn’t like e.g sprouts, pigs in blankets so we end up with a dry turkey crown, not much veg as she doesn’t like it and just a slightly depressing meal.

My dad loves Christmas and goes all out is good cook etc. I just feel so sad to be missing out on my normal Christmas meal the other years it hasn’t bothered me and is obviously part and parcel of taking turns and just life etc but this year I just feel gutted.

Snap me out of this ultimate first world problem please! We have offered to Help (we are making a hamper as a Christmas present of treats and taking Christmas pudding etc so have tried that!). My DH is an only child and not going/ having lunch at home is not an option!

I wouldn’t go or I’d bring the extras and help out. Love Christmas dinner too much

I know what you mean I always make our Christmas dinner sometimes the in-laws come sometimes it's just dh & dc but I love it . It's took me years of practice but I do great roast potatoes now and so much better than frozen. I wouldn't dream of making frozen potatoes, and it's cheaper too .
Veg is cheap near Christmas so to buy frozen is insane and it's just not the same and I often buy frozen veg fur mid week meals .
I agree to others have a Christmas dinner another day . I think it's part of the fun making a lovely dinner .

My SIL is a good cook and host but serves the tiniest portions. She has 1 daughters and I have two very sporty teenage sons and she serves them the same amount. We have stopped going there for Xmas as we were all starving after our ‘lunch ‘ last time

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER - Yes, cook one yourself the day after, or sometime before NY. Not quite the same, I know, but you'll have it to look forward to. One year when we were staying with friends, I knew we'd never have what I call a proper Christmas dinner. She is Scandi and whether there or here, we'd usually have her trad, largely fishy meal on Chr. Eve, as they do, all very nice too - and our trad dinner on the day. I would cook it if we were there - no big deal to me - because she didn't feel confident to do it. But this particular year he insisted on having her fishy meal on Christmas Day, and we'd go out for a pub turkey dinner on the 23rd. And as expected, very mediocre it was too - especially for what they were charging - and no leftovers!

Was she of Swedish or Norwegian tradition with the Lutfisk? The air dried cod, soaked in lye which is reconstituted and boiled - has a jelly like consistency

Mostly the Scandi traditions seem to centre around ham, rib of pork or duck.

Although many Scandi homes do a Julbord or buffet (often a potluck) with multiple items usually including different types of herrings and salmons, cold cuts and patés, ham, salads, hot dishes such as ribs, meatballs potato and herring gratin, oven omelettes with toppings (shrimp, mushroom spinach etc), blood pudding, sausages, red cabbage, green cabbage, sprouts, potatoes, cheese board, desserts cookies and sweets!

I think they meant food the council would serve. At least thats how I read it. Not meant to be an insult to council estates.

Isn't it terrible that you have food poisoning on Christmas day OP, and can't possibly go and eat a minging dinner.
*Then cook your own slyly.

Yes, take the food you want.
The midwife said you need more iron and fibre. Pigs in blankets, sprouts, carrots/parsnips are filling. Everyone else will thank you.
Just do it. You can still praise the turkey or whatever that mil has cooked.

I do not get your mother in law at all; there are always things people don't like but surely they can be cooked for those who do like them.
It would be a good idea if members of her family told her this and rammed it home how inhospitable she is being.

The good thing is Christmas day is only one day and you can have what you really like on Boxing day and thereafter. However I do feel she needs to be told - straight.

Is there any option for your family to be invited along too. Boxing day could all go round to dad's?
Or suggest you have dinner annually at your parents and a light supper annually at in laws. Could even each parent invite the other parents too? Big family gathering.

Yep take the stuff you want for yourself only. Pregnancy is the best excuse for doing whatever you want to do / want to eat!

Thanks all for responses. I know @Bluerussian I do ask DH to ask her to cook extra bits but they have a funny relationship and he doesn’t want to offend her. And @CharlieDaisy2 I’d love to do that! Sadly they are 200+ miles away so each year we do one or the other. I think when not heavily pregnant and we have a bigger house we will host more in future especially as the kids get bigger and want to be at home!

Why do people who don't like to host host?

I don't like to host, find it all really stressful, but I don't get the choice - I don't want to make the children travel on Christmas Day.

My lovely sister is vegetarian, her Dh always cooks a turkey crown for all the meat eaters! He was a meat eater but went veggie 2 years ago. So 3 veggies and 6 meat eaters.

Their table groans under the weight of delicious goodness, moist turkey crown (so no carcass) roast potatoes, pigs in blanket (had these for the last 40 years) stuffing, parsnips, leeks and cabbage mix, sweetcorn, jugs of gravy, cranberry sauce, red cabbage, sprouts. I think that is it. But my goodness we feast!

I cannot understand someone hosting and only cooking stuff they like when the expectation is a Christmas dinner. Just plain mean.

YANBU! No pigs in blankets with an Xmas dinner?! sacrilege!!! Also just because MIL doesn’t like X, Y and Z it doesn’t mean you and everyone else doesn’t! She’s most likely just trying to be a cheap skate and doesn’t want the added work of cooking! Why bother hosting if that’s how you feel! If I were you OP I would stay at home and cook your own!

Bring a few bits - veg, pigs in blankets and lots of gravy and claim you are craving them. She can't argue with that.

have your own christmas next year.... if you havent had extension then just you and dc and if you have host!
MIL awful cook and finds xmas stressful so we go to her between xmas and new year and get a chinese takeway! works for everyone.....

you do not have to alternate you know ....maybe your dc shoudl be at home at least 1 year!

My solution is to have something really yummy and festive to eat either before or after the family event. So I might come home and have my favorite starter and pudding waiting for a late night snack.

Be honest.Just say “ I know you don’t like cooking food you won’t eat, so I’m bringing pigs in blankets and sprouts”.
Easy.
What she going to say? If she goes tell you not to bother you simply say it isn’t any bother.

This is one of the reasons i am so grateful both my parents did shift work and often both worked at some point on christmss day. I grew up having a yummy family roast on the day that we could all be together. There are 12 days of Christmas so make one of the others tasty food day.
Can you sneak in a good breakfast before going over?

The response was all said in the first reply.

Take your own.

You offered to host, she doesnt like hosting, you love food. Take your own, suggest a table of shared food to “ease her burden” and just eat your own stuff. If she’s such a crap cook everyone else will eat yours too.

Everyone’s a winner.

Do what we do - have a proper Christmas dinner at home beforehand e.g. Sunday. Then it doesn't matter what the host serves on Christmas day.

I feel for you. I love xmas dinner and all the trimmings. I host every year because my mum is the same, only cooks what she likes. buys the cheapest turkey and overvooks it so its like cardboard and only does the veg she likes (peas and brussel sprouts) which are cooked so long its more like sprout soup.
Take the things you love and blame it on the baby.

If it’s not enjoyable- don’t go.
Or be honest?

The worst Christmas Day I had was at dp's parents the first year we were together.
His dm didn't like turkey so they cooked two chickens. No trimmings whatsoever, just roast potatoes and a couple of veg. They all covered everything in mint sauce!
No Christmas pudding and no nibbles throughout the day.
For tea later in the day the had cake - all types of Mr Kipling cakes but no christmas cake or mince pies. I really don't like Mr Kipling cakes of any sort.
We never spent Christmas there again and I soon introduced dp to a real feast the next year.

My parents are quite modest with food during the year and aren’t well off but Christmas is an all out affair - bowls of nuts and dried fruit and chocolate left out which was amazing as kids as we were allowed to nibble between meals! heaving table for lunch and cold cuts and trifle for tea. Leftovers Boxing Day and the day after and after...

My first and only Christmas with MIL was a shock - she is a self confessed terrible cook, so we offered to do the cooking, but it turned out her main oven wasn’t working. She never used it so didn’t realise. Lunch wasn’t served until 8pm after I butchered the turkey and managed to squeeze it in the small oven. She never eats sauces or gravy, so I’d taken my own bread sauce to cook and she told me how disgusting it looked. No nibbles or extras left out and no wine offered. Boiled potatoes, carrots peas and dry turkey. We’d offered to bring loads with us but had been told all was in hand and we only needed to bring “my special items”. I think it was the lack of spirit or generosity that got me most - all pitching in to help out can make a fun Christmas Day, but that one was cold and joyless and miserable. I’ve refused to do it again.