To be dreading a crap Christmas dinner?

[Napqueen1234]

Prepared to be told IABU as I should be grateful to get one at all/someone to cook for me. Basically we alternate years with MIL and my family and this year it’s my in laws. For context I’m 8 months pregnant so as a non drinker food is v important to me this year 😂.

My MIL is a terrible cook and takes no joy in hosting. We offered to host but were declined (DH family all 5 mins away from each other and we are 40 mins from there so it’s easier for them I suppose). Won’t cook food she doesn’t like e.g sprouts, pigs in blankets so we end up with a dry turkey crown, not much veg as she doesn’t like it and just a slightly depressing meal.

My dad loves Christmas and goes all out is good cook etc. I just feel so sad to be missing out on my normal Christmas meal the other years it hasn’t bothered me and is obviously part and parcel of taking turns and just life etc but this year I just feel gutted.

Snap me out of this ultimate first world problem please! We have offered to Help (we are making a hamper as a Christmas present of treats and taking Christmas pudding etc so have tried that!). My DH is an only child and not going/ having lunch at home is not an option!

Yes, cook one yourself the day after, or sometime before NY. Not quite the same, I know, but you'll have it to look forward to.

One year when we were staying with friends, I knew we'd never have what I call a proper Christmas dinner. She is Scandi and whether there or here, we'd usually have her trad, largely fishy meal on Chr. Eve, as they do, all very nice too - and our trad dinner on the day. I would cook it if we were there - no big deal to me - because she didn't feel confident to do it.

But this particular year he insisted on having her fishy meal on Christmas Day, and we'd go out for a pub turkey dinner on the 23rd. And as expected, very mediocre it was too - especially for what they were charging - and no leftovers!

So I bought a small frozen turkey before we went, took it out of the freezer as soon as we got home, and had a proper Christmas dinner - with leftovers! - a couple of days later.

Cook your fave veg/pigs in blankets at home, take them in Tupperware ‘we hosted yesterday and had loads leftover so thought I’d bring what we had’

Definitely take extra dishes and blame it on you pregnancy. Take extra for everyone so that in two years time you can do it again because everyone will say they loved you bringing the pigs in blankets etc.

If you really don't feel you can do that, have a very small dinner (blame pregnancy indigestion) then go home and eat what you want

Pregnancy hormones are the perfect excuse ... bring all the food you want and blame cravings. If MIL challenges you then cry!

Purchase pigs in blankets, Brussels and any other food MIL doesn’t make and take them along

Either cook first and take to pop in microwave or if you think you can get away with it take and cook there

Tell MIL you have cravings for this food & blame it on the baby 👶

I think that taking food with you could cause offence unless you’re sure you have the acting skills to blame it on the baby. Even then, it would seem a bit suspicious that you happen to be craving things that are absent from the dinner, like sprouts. Tbh I’d just eat what’s offered - it’s just one meal of (presumably) many during the Christmas period.

Aw I feel your pain. MIL overcooks he veg so it's just mushy. A crime to Brussels sprouts. She also won't let anyone take anything. DH hates trifle but she makes it every year and demands he eat it. We've offered to take alternatives but she gets all huffy. Which is bloody ridiculous considering her and FIL are the fussiest, pickiest eaters I've ever met and wouldn't dream of eating something they didn't like. They're way worse than toddlers!
Don't offer to take sides and extras. Just do it. Piping hot pigs in blankets and all the other delicious treats you like. Just do it. What's she going to do? Kick you out?

Like a PP says I would go down the cravings route. "Gosh I just can't get enough of pigs in blankets/stuffing/roast potatoes/sprouts so I brought some extra supplies with me".

Many replies on the same lines 🤣

She doesn't like pigs in blankets?! Tf doesn't like pigs in blankets? If you're cooking Christmas dinner for guests, you go all in. No half arsing. And you're pregnant, food is the only joy!

Take your own stuff and cook it, enough for everyone so it's just you being thoughtful (and if they don't want it more for you!).

Your DH being an only child is irrelevant. There isn’t some immutable law that you have to eat Christmas dinner with your parents in adulthood. I have an only child and I certainly don’t expect him every year he isn’t committed to his in laws.

Stay at home. Eat what you like.

You may want to think ahead, it maybe worth saying now that you won’t be switching Xmas each year with a small child

Some people are so strange...why would you only cook the things that you like when you're hosting Christmas dinner or any other meal?? I would do what other people have said and take essentials like pigs in blankets and sprouts. It's not a Christmas dinner without them!!

Book a lovely Christmas dinner out with your DH one of the days either side of Christmas.

YABU. It's one dinner. It won't hurt you to go without sprouts and pigs in blankets if the host chooses not to cook them. I think it's rude to arrive with your own food and insist on cooking it in someone's home

Baby's first Christmas with your family, then the following year do the "we want Christmas in our own home now baby can acknowledge Xmas"

Look at it this way, next year will be your parents turn and baby's first Xmas. Change your routine now and imagine the fight there will be next year.

Take some food with you, no need to tell them in advance.

I feel for you OP. I can't abide people who do a shit Christmas dinner. Agree with a PP that if one doesn't want to host, why would you even offer? and all this "of we don't have that because Great Uncle George doesn't like it" - how bloody selfish.

I’d be inclined to make my own pigs in blankets and veggies to take along. If she gets offended so be it, you can’t deny a pregnant woman good food!

I’d pre cook it all and take it with you. Or take it with you and get your DH to cook those bits. Bit mean just because she doesn’t eat it doesn’t mean others should miss out lol.

Gutted over one meal? Come on.

Just have the food you crave the next day. 🤷‍♀️

Take the extra bits of food you like and say they’re for your cravings.

Also, remember that next year with your new baby you get to go to your family. The year after you will defo need more control on food due to fussy toddler. Win win I think.

Look at it this way - baby's first Christmas next year will be with your family!

Fuck that! No way would I not have the things I want on Christmas Day. Agree with everyone else - just take what you want, what’s she going to do? Refuse to have it on the table?? Do you honestly think she’d tell a heavily pregnant woman not to eat?? Be strong, don’t ask, just tell them that this is what’s going to happen. Woman up OP!

I remember, pre kids, the only Christmas dinner the mother-in-law ever hosted DH and I went home and ate Pot Noodle as we were still starving and had no Christmas goodies in as we were used to spending Christmas with my parents who go went all out.