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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be dreading a crap Christmas dinner?

207 replies

Napqueen1234 · 17/12/2019 07:09

Prepared to be told IABU as I should be grateful to get one at all/someone to cook for me. Basically we alternate years with MIL and my family and this year it’s my in laws. For context I’m 8 months pregnant so as a non drinker food is v important to me this year 😂.

My MIL is a terrible cook and takes no joy in hosting. We offered to host but were declined (DH family all 5 mins away from each other and we are 40 mins from there so it’s easier for them I suppose). Won’t cook food she doesn’t like e.g sprouts, pigs in blankets so we end up with a dry turkey crown, not much veg as she doesn’t like it and just a slightly depressing meal.

My dad loves Christmas and goes all out is good cook etc. I just feel so sad to be missing out on my normal Christmas meal the other years it hasn’t bothered me and is obviously part and parcel of taking turns and just life etc but this year I just feel gutted.

Snap me out of this ultimate first world problem please! We have offered to Help (we are making a hamper as a Christmas present of treats and taking Christmas pudding etc so have tried that!). My DH is an only child and not going/ having lunch at home is not an option!

OP posts:
katewhinesalot · 17/12/2019 09:41

Eat your Xmas dinner on Xmas Eve.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/12/2019 09:42

What would her reaction be if you turned up with a bowl of steaming sprouts, a dish of pigs in blankets, and everything else you need to make the meal palatable? Would she throw an almighty strop or just huff a bit?
Unless it would mean plate throwing tantrums, I would just take what you need to make it a decent meal and as others have said, plan a really nice Boxing Day/New Year meal instead.

BreatheAndFocus · 17/12/2019 09:43

Visiting relatives should be a pleasure not an obligation. I really don’t get all this ‘have to do alternate years’ crap.

Maybe now is the time to start saying that as a (possibly new?) family you remain at home on Christmas Day

^This. Take the opportunity this year to start that change. Stay home, cook what you want.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/12/2019 09:43

My DH is an only child and not going/ having lunch at home is not an option

It's always an option. Why do people go so crazy over Christmas when they 'have' to do 'this' or 'that' or spend it with people who obviously don't like hosting?

It's one day. Either take the food you want to eat with you, or suck it up and cook something nice when you get home.

LakieLady · 17/12/2019 09:44

I feel your pain, OP. My MIL is a dreadful cook, everything she makes is bland, underseasoned and overcooked. It's only after we explained how easy it is to roast a parsnip that she stopped frozen ones, and her roast potatoes are improving. She can't even make a decent shepherd's pie, it's horribly reminiscent of the ones we got at primary school. Oh, and all the puddings are bought. The first time she had a home-made raspberry mousse, she was practically orgasmic.

Her kids always do their own thing at Christmas, and she usually goes to one of the SILs for the day itself and Boxing Day.

However, to cheer you up, your Christmas meal may be better than ours. Unless the engineer fixes our main oven on Friday, we'll be having lasagne for our Christmas lunch. Nothing bigger than that or shepherd's pie will fit in the small oven, which may well be the only one working! DP does make great lasagne though, and I'm making a Sussex Pond Pudding instead of Christmas pud.

SexlessBoulderBelly · 17/12/2019 09:44

I second PP,

Make them at home and take it with you, everyone (except MIL) will appreciate it going on their plates since the host can’t be bothered to make Christmas dinner social for guests at least.

SexlessBoulderBelly · 17/12/2019 09:44

Special*

BlueJava · 17/12/2019 09:47

Christmas dinner will be the least of your worries... start preparing her now that next year you may well want to be at home for LOs first Christmas!

SmoothOrange · 17/12/2019 09:52

I'm in the exact same boat op. 4m pregnant and MIL insisting she come over and help make the christmas dinner. I've insisted I feel fine! She does frozen roasties ffs!!

Mustbeoriginal38 · 17/12/2019 09:52

Sounds like the same as the difference between my mum and mil. Mum is great and understatedly goes all out. At Mil's it's fancy because they put beetroot and pickles in nice dishes to have along side the frozen vegetables and stone cold meat and gravy. They even take pride in showing off the pickles and things - no thanks!

We are supposed to alternate but I refused a few years ago and it has stopped. It's so stressful being there as DH is from a big family and the younger ones even in their 20s are so needy and attention seeking. So we go to my mum's or eat at home. Then venture to mil's on Boxing Day when the mob have left.

Wehttam · 17/12/2019 09:55

OP offer to do a big M&S order to be picked up from their local store on Christmas Eve. Don’t settle for a shitty dinner there’s nothing worse.

I know from experience hence why we don’t go my DP parents, it’s not a roast dinner it’s a boiled dinner 🤢 think proper council food, vegetables boiled to mush, awful under roasted potatoes and gravy like piss you get the idea.

Divebar · 17/12/2019 09:55

My first Christmas with my in laws featured one slice of turkey and no roast potatoes. We sat in this cold unheated dining room with the overhead light on. It was as about as far from festive as you can get. Shortly afterwards they moved 5 hours away so if we went to see them we had to stay for a few days. I learned very early on to take plenty of snacks and alcohol with us to get through it. In defence of my MIL she did cook roast potatoes for me in future Christmas’s even though she thought they were an unhealthy and unnecessary addition to the Christmas meal.

Dacquoise · 17/12/2019 09:57

Being a total foodie I feel your pain. Think you have to suck it up for the day, all the while dreaming of the delights you will enjoy when you get home. Eat sparingly and fill up later!

heronsinflight · 17/12/2019 10:03

Slightly OT but since when did pigs in blankets become an essential part of the Christmas meal?

NoProblem123 · 17/12/2019 10:05

Mil for lunch

Parents for dinner

Winner winner, lots of turkey dinner.

StinkyWizleteets · 17/12/2019 10:16

I hear you OP - my mil buys cook in the bag ready made stuff and microwaves (actually it’s a
Combi oven) the chicken/turkey to within an inch of becoming sand. She boasted at a recent Sunday lunch with my parents how much she loves to cook for guests but served a dry, mediocre yeaurch and boasted about how she buys it all readymade from M&S. her piece de resistance is Betty Crocker brownie mix which she freezes and brings out at every social event claiming people can’t wait for them but they’re revolting too. It’s painful but it’s only one day a year

FraglesRock · 17/12/2019 10:18

I'd take some veg and pigs in blankets that just need heating through in the oven or microwave. Get dh to bung them in as you're craving them.

katewhinesalot · 17/12/2019 10:21

Since forever heron Shock

ffswhatnext · 17/12/2019 10:24

@heronsinflight I was wondering the same. Never served them. Noticed over the years they are appearing on more and more restaurant Christmas dinners. Don't remember them either from childhood dinners either.

Smellybluecheese · 17/12/2019 10:24

Oh god I feel your pain. This is third year in at in laws for various reasons .The first year I went there I got 2 roast potatoes and some veg. One glass of wine. No gravy. (I’m veggie). No music on. It was a bit of a shock as I’m used to my family going all out. I am sulking already. I take my own gravy and bread sauce and veggie sausages now. And we also take a massive bag of potatoes as FIL is v parsimonious with his. It’s the least festive thing I’ve ever experienced. We’ll go to my parents on Boxing Day and have a proper Xmas dinner. I’m hoping we can actually stay at home next year.

Smellybluecheese · 17/12/2019 10:25

We’ve always had pigs in blankets with Xmas dinner!

theDudesmummy · 17/12/2019 10:29

We do Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve. You won't care about what you get the next day if you do it properly!

Lovemusic33 · 17/12/2019 10:29

We used to go to my dads for Christmas but his partner is a terrible cook, she would either serve up dry turkey or venison 🤢 and no carrots, just broad beans and cauliflower cheese made with Stilton. One year my daughter took a packed lunch with her (she was 5) because she wouldn’t eat venison or cauliflower cheese. We now make excuses to stay at home for Christmas as I make the best roast 🤣

mynameiscalypso · 17/12/2019 10:51

We've done Christmas lunch at my in laws once. Never again. Bland, overcooked and very stingy. The worst part is that my DH seems nostalgically attached to it despite how rubbish it is. Now we're blaming DS for having to stay home and cook a decent lunch ourselves.

Ponderfully · 17/12/2019 10:55

It's the same at my Mil. Precooked ham, dry crown, mashed potatoes. I asked the last Christmas we were there did she want help in the kitchen but she had it all under control. Course she did, all she did was throw a crown in the oven and make mash. No gravy, no cranberry sauce,no veg or stuffing or pigs in blankets, no Christmas pudding or cake. And no roast potatoes. I was so sad. I was pregnant and I love food. In my family it's a feast with a heaving table. It's her turn again this year but at least this year I can have wine. I feel awful but I've never seen such a depressing Christmas dinner.