AIBU - Christmas opening present time

[myhandsareverycold]

We are a blended family. 20 year old step daughter home from university. We normally (11 + 2 x13) get up around 7:30am, open stockings then do main Father Christmas stuff around 10. We have our children every second Christmas, this one bring ours. This year eldest is working Christmas Day and wants stockings and main presents opened before she leaves for work at 7:30. I had proposed to do stockings at 7am then the rest around 12 when she gets back. Dad is not at all happy and feels we should fit in with working daughter. Ive offered to reimburse her wages for Christmas Day so we can have a relaxed day but she is being so honerable and doesn't want to let anyone down. Am I being dreadfully unreasonable. Any other solutions that you lovely people can see?

What time does she finish work?

I don't see any problem with waiting until 12 to do main presents. Otherwise it is all over before the day has really started!

How long does it take to open all the presents? I think waking up half an hour early to allow her to join in with family present opening it worthwhile.
It isn't fair to expect her to let her work down. You reimbursing her wages is not the point and she is right to go to work if she has said she will. Work isnt just about the money.

I think as she is working Christmas day, it would be nice to accommodate her wish of opening before she goes.

It's always a bit rubbish working Christmas day but she is right that she must honour the shift. Then when she gets home at 12 (midday I assume?) You can be ready to continue celebrations with her.

I only have a very small child so no experience of this but my instinct is that trying to get everything opened before she goes to work would be very rushed for everyone and take away a lot of the enjoyment of it all. As she's only actually working half a day and will be back by 12 I think your compromise sounds entirely reasonable. Perhaps a small gesture towards peace keeping could be stockings + 1 "main present" in the morning (you could then perhaps pitch that one main present for the other children to be something that may particularly occupy them in the morning, new game etc. until your SDD gets home from work).

Can you not half the gifts? Some before and some later on?

@alwayscheddar. Around 12 noon.

I'm with you on this. Why would you want to rush opening everything, when you can just wait an extra couple of hours and take your time and enjoy it?

I would just do stockings and main presents before she goes to work as I don’t think it’s fair on the younger ones to have to wait. I know they’re not tiny but it’s still a whole morning where they will be wanting to open something and feeling resentful toward the older one that they can’t

Let her open hers if she wants and the rest of you wait til later. She sounds like a 5 yr old unable to wait til 12.

Reimbursing wages doesn’t help if she’s not been working long and her employer takes her being off on a day well known for “sickies” and very hard to cover. She could do her stocking before she leaves and 12 for the rest of presents, if you’ve to go pick her up from work there won’t be much of a difference between 10-12 surely.

Most of you are feeling like me. Why should the others, who are much younger, and still have the Christmas magic have to compromise their day? It would then be all over for them by 7:30am.

I would wait until she comes back from work, you haven't got very small children, they are all old enough to understand you wait for everybody to be here.

Have a fun Christmas Eve, sleep later Christmas Day, by the time the family has a good Christmas breakfast, showers, get ready she'll be back home!

Could you not do stockings and her main presents before she leaves, then the other DC presents whilst she is at work? Otherwise, it will just be too rushed.
Personally, I would do stockings before he leaves, and everybody's main presents when she gets home. It's not really that long to wait.

I think your suggestion is really fair (& accommodating) everyone up together for stockings before she leaves & waiting for her to get back before opening other presents.
Is there one particular gift she doesn’t want to wait for? Maybe one gift to open with stocking?

sorry, I thought your youngest was 11, more than old enough to be able to wait.

Or be continental, open presents at midnight on Christmas Eve!

Compromise. Stockings and one big present at 7.00.

Make them gifts they can play with to help keep them occupied until she gets back. The rest of the presents at 12.30.

If a 20 year old can’t wait an extra few hours for a present, what hope is there? Its not like she’s 5 and hyperactive. Or if she is then she needs to grow up.

but she is being so honerable and doesn't want to let anyone down

Good for her. Can’t believe, with 9 days to go, you would encourage her to let her boss/colleagues or whoever down by offering her the money to stay home!

As pp said get up a little bit earlier, open stockings and a couple of presents, so younger ones have things to entertain them until she gets back then open the rest together.

She can do what she likes. But I'd stick to the usual plan for the younger kids.

Can’t you compromise & do half and the stocking before work - then she’ll have some presents to look forward to after work and so will everyone else

You can't encourage her to ditch work, that's terrible.

What's her reasoning for wanting it all at 7am?

I agree it's completely honourable she works but my question is why should everyone have to rush to open everything prior to her going to work. It's over before it's started! I think it's entirely reasonable that we should do stockings before she goes and if she wants to open all her presents before work at 7:39 then fine but don't make the rest rush to open by then and not stagger the present opening over the leisure morning opening like we normally do?

For clarity, she's at university. This is a holiday job.

Do the stockings before she goes, everything else when she comes home.
We do this anyway. Stockings in the morning, main presents about 3. Rest of the day is Christmas dinner and spending time with the family, playing games etc. We did this as children too, and survived waiting for our presents. We’d opened some and with those to play with were more than happy to wait a bit longer for the rest. My children and nieces and nephews also all manage to hold on. For me, it means that the day you’ve waited ages for actually lasts rather than being all over and done ASAP.