AIBU - Christmas opening present time

[myhandsareverycold]

We are a blended family. 20 year old step daughter home from university. We normally (11 + 2 x13) get up around 7:30am, open stockings then do main Father Christmas stuff around 10. We have our children every second Christmas, this one bring ours. This year eldest is working Christmas Day and wants stockings and main presents opened before she leaves for work at 7:30. I had proposed to do stockings at 7am then the rest around 12 when she gets back. Dad is not at all happy and feels we should fit in with working daughter. Ive offered to reimburse her wages for Christmas Day so we can have a relaxed day but she is being so honerable and doesn't want to let anyone down. Am I being dreadfully unreasonable. Any other solutions that you lovely people can see?

It would be all over for them at 7.30am

What?? The WHOLE of Christmas for them is the opening of their presents?

You need to think about that.

How about you get up early to do stockings and then 20 year old gets to open hers?

She probably wants to tell her work mates what she got.

I wouldnt dictate when everyone is allowed to open stockings and presents. Its Christmas, let them do what they want with their own presents, when they want.

Yes, you are being unreasonable. What is the point of waiting until 10?

Blimey, my DCs were often found asleep on the hardwood floor in the sitting room at 7, having got up at 5 to open their presents under the tree. I would hear them 'tiptoeing noiselessly' down the stairs, with little half-stifled squeaks of excitement.

And YYY to BillHadersNewWife. There is so much more to Christmas than the opening of presents.

...why should everyone have to rush to open everything prior to her going to work. It's over before it's started!

Do they not want to open their presents and play with whatever they got/ get dressed in whatever clothes, etc? Have a nice family breakfast afterwards?

Do they not want to open their presents and play with whatever they got/ get dressed in whatever clothes, etc? Have a nice family breakfast afterwards?

This! You've obviously got into the habit of delaying the gratification...but that doesn't mean it's less fun for children who open everything all at once.

They can open stockings while you make coffee...then they can open bigger things while you drink your coffee.

Then they can play with their gifts or for older ones, organise them and put them in their rooms. Mine love doing this.

Then there's the whole day to look forward to. The food, crackers, the fun and games, the family...it's not just about gifts.

There are 364 days of delaying gratification. Let them rip at 6am or even earlier if that is what they want, imo.

I think the 20 year old is being selfish and very immature. It's perfectly reasonable to wait until she gets home at 12. Many people do this.

We have never got out of bed early to open presents. And when I was growing up my dad worked shifts and often was working on Christmas Day. If he was on an early i was allowed to open one gift before he went to work and the rest once he came home. .

The previous posters are right - Christmas isn't just about the gifts, it's about spending time with family. Which is why, to me, you don't get up early to rush the present opening. You wait until it can be done leisurely and the gifts appreciated together as a family.

Can she open hers early? The others can either open theirs while she is working, or wait until she is back.

But they always open their presents at 10. They shouldn't have to rearrange the whole day for the student's holiday job.

Getting up early to do stockings and waiting until she's back for everything else is more than enough of a compromise

Wow, you all wait that long to open your presents? Damn in my family you're up by 6am opening them. Dunno how you can wait that long, or spend an entire day or even days in some cases opening presents. Don't think I know any family that hasn't opened them all by 9am at the latest.

But they always open their presents at 10. They shouldn't have to rearrange the whole day for the student's holiday job.

Life's not like that though is it? Nobody can expect everything to always stay the same. It's actually quite bad for children to protect them from change completely. It leaves them ill-prepared for life.

OP what time do your children get up on christmas morning?
Everyone in our house opens presents when they want to.
When the kids were small that was usualy 6am, with adults waiting until later.
Mostly now a few are opened early, and then taking our time pening when we want to.

Stockings in the morning, presents after lunch.

Me neither, ChristmasSweet.

And after they are all opened, the family can sit down and enjoy breakfast together, and each others' company for the rest of the day.

Unless your family are of the 4 items in a stocking and only one present type I think your dsd and dh have underestimated how long it will take everyone to open their presents. There is no way we could do it in half an hour and enjoy each person opening each present. I agree maybe compromise and have stockings and one main present early and then wait until 12 for the rest. Alternatively just wing it and run out of time naturally.

I’m with you OP, stockings at 730 then the rest when she comes back at 12. She’s not a baby who needs everything instantly the second she wakes up. Not much likely to be happening at home while she’s at work anyway.

I'd do stocking and presents between siblings in the morning and the rest when she gets back. That shouldn't be too rushed. No one int house (well, apart from me) is awake that early on non-school days even at Christmas now.

I agree with those saying enjoy the stockings first thing and maybe 1 main present then the rest of the presents later. Even when our children were small the presents round the tree weren’t opened until around tea time on Christmas Day.

Sorry but we must be the exception here. We open everything once everyone is up. No way would we be waiting until after lunch!

I'm 50 and even I couldn't wait that long

She said in the OP @speakout

@BillHadersNewWife - most families do stuff the same way on Christmas Day. It's called tradition.

There's no way I'd set my alarm clock and wake the whole house up early because a student chose to do a shift on Christmas Day

@dancinginthekitchen but why?? Why did you make them wait all bloody day for their presents?? I can just about understand the 'wait until 10' (at a push...don't understand why, but maybe parents need coffee/food first to fortify themselves 🤷‍♀️). But all day? That's very controlling! Poor children...😢

Everyone can wait until 12 surely. The younger ones then don't have to rush to get up.

I think it is selfish for the 20 year old to insist that present opening time fots around her.

She is an adult, she has chosen to work on christmas day- it is unfair to the younger children if she dictates what time they get up and what time they open their gifts.

Your OH needs to tell her she is being unreasonable.

If she has gifts for the younger children she can give them when she returns form work.
She can't dictate the timings on christmas day.

@northernknickers - that was just how the day went - stockings and present from Father Christmas, breakfast, church, watch (or as they got older take part in) the harbour swim, drinks, play with stocking toys, guests arrive, Christmas dinner, walk (bike ride,dolly pram push whatever - some fresh air), presents ..... it wasn’t ‘making them wait’ - they weren’t hanging round the tree looking longingly at the presents there was too much else going on! The present opening late afternoon was/is a lovely end to the day.

we open everything right away and don't see it as the day is over as they are playing with everything all day, I would hate to wait and spread it out, would feel like I was diluting the fun.