AIBU - Christmas opening present time

[myhandsareverycold]

We are a blended family. 20 year old step daughter home from university. We normally (11 + 2 x13) get up around 7:30am, open stockings then do main Father Christmas stuff around 10. We have our children every second Christmas, this one bring ours. This year eldest is working Christmas Day and wants stockings and main presents opened before she leaves for work at 7:30. I had proposed to do stockings at 7am then the rest around 12 when she gets back. Dad is not at all happy and feels we should fit in with working daughter. Ive offered to reimburse her wages for Christmas Day so we can have a relaxed day but she is being so honerable and doesn't want to let anyone down. Am I being dreadfully unreasonable. Any other solutions that you lovely people can see?

I worked Xmas day last year 0700- 1945 I leave for work at 0615 everyone was asleep they wouldn't have wanted to get up and open presents at that time. My family quite happily just waited till I came home including my 21 year old. I take the view that by 20/21 your'e old enough to wait. I accept that small children can't wait to open their presents but adults come on. Call me an old misery but over the years I've come to realise its just one bloody day of the year and that too much fuss is attached to it.

I'd also be interested to know what the 11 and 13yos really think about this.

It sounds as though they're ok with your proposal, which would be very mature of them. In which case, why do the wishes of a young adult trump everybody else's wishes? The impression given is that she's spoilt by her dad, who somehow thinks she's the only person who really matters and everybody else must revolve around her. Is that right? There isn't quite enough info here to go on.

You already have a split time for opening, so moving the main present opening to 12 isn’t going to make the younger ( not tiny, 11 and twin 13 year olds ? Bit ambiguous) go into a melt down of disappointment as some PPs suggest. Having all the presents open at 7 will be rushed.

She will have a nice relaxed time to enjoy with her siblings and you when she gets back from her short shift. She’s certainly old enough to appreciate the concept of deferred gratification - as are the younger ones - and your DH !

Or if she can’t wait until she gets home from work.do present opening on Christmas Eve - like the Royal Family (and most of Europe).

The thirteen year olds are not going to leap out of bed at 7

My 16 & 18 year olds still get up at 6:30 full of excitement

We just open everything when we get up. I can't imagine making kids wait to open their presents once you are an adult and working then it's basically tough and you open yours when you can. None of you should be trying to turn the day upside down to accommodate a 20 year old woman.

I think it's a bit rubbish of her to dictate this... So she doesn't want to let down her employers.... Bit it's OK 'letting down' (in the broadest sense😁) her family by rushing gifts really early....

But then I come from a family where even as small kids, we did stockings first thing, and then we did all the family gifts... Late... After the sodding queen's speech...

Sometimes when we were older we did gifts at about 7pm....! No one died..

What does the 20 year old say about your idea? Are you sure she wouldn't rather do some presents before she leaves and some after? If not, why not?

It’s interesting to see how everyone’s day is so different, my DS has never got up early ... often we have to wake him up , he’s an only child and so there is no over excitement about the presents, we’ve always had stocking presents before breakfast and ‘main’ presents after lunch. He worked one year in a hotel & was happy to wait until he got back from work for the presents.

It is interesting to hear everyone's traditions. Most kids I know can't wait to get up and open all their parcels - I had to wait until after breakfast when I was a child and hated having to wait so long! Anyway, the day isn't just about presents, and I hope you have a lovely day whatever you do.

opening presents in half an hour would be a horrible unseemly rush imo. no time for gratitude or discussion

She's 20! Bloody hell. She can wait til 12 - stockings early before she goes, then presents when she gets back.

And why on earth should everyone get up early. She and your husband are being really childish and twatty.

I re-read it a couple of times to double check but the other children are 11 and 13? So do they even still believe in FC? They’re not tiny children, I think they can wait a few hours to open the other presents personally. Or you could all wake up earlier and open them all before she leaves.

Then your OH is a fucking idiot

Your idea works absolutely fine. Personally I wouldn’t make the other kids get up early to open their stockings either. I’d let them sleep until they wanted to get up

Can he explain exactly why a 20 year old can’t wait until lunchtime to open her presents? And why everyone getting up early and rushing opening presents us SO much better?

20yo needs to grow the fuck up & OH needs to STOP treating her like a princess.

I hate to imagine how you’ve always pandered to him & DSD.

We are making our 6&8yos wait until the 31st for their presents... We must be beyond cruel. (Actually we are on holiday, and even the 6yo worked out that would mean presents being delayed, although they will get a stocking, PJ's and a book)

I can understand the 20yo wanting to open a present or two. But in reality it would just be stressful and fraught, esp since she would actually have to get ready for work before all this could happen. Maybe she just needs some reassurance that nothing will happen until shes home?

Stockings early, main presents at 12 noon. Don’t see a problem with that. DSD sounds like a toddler.

Not until after the Queen's Speech surely as happens in all refined and upstanding households

Waiting until 12 should not be a problem, surely?
When I was a child, my parents always did their presents after Christmas lunch (ie in the afternoon), anyway.
My DM said she was too rushed before dinner to enjoy it.

is the 20yo your OH's first child? Seems like he's playing favourites, or she can wrap him around her little finger. Also if you do alternate years he may feel pressure to keep her happy.

He is also being entirely unreasonable and thinking only of her and not the rest of the family. You used to open around 10? So 12 is nothing to wait.

She’s an adult, she can wait.

Not until after the Queen's Speech

does anyone actually watch that in real life?

Never seen the queens speech, it was never part of family Xmas to watch.

We’re very working class so open presents first thing, no waiting till after breakfast let alone any other meal 😅

Sorry, why does your DH get to decide that "your idea" doesn't work?
Tell him his idea doesn't work either!
And then come up with a compromise.
Either he and his Dd open all their presents together at 7 while everyone does stockings (do adults do stockings?) Or they open main presents with everyone else at 12.

does anyone actually watch that in real life?

Yes, in my parental household and that of my siblings it was/is a must and a tradition. The deferred opening could also be aligned with

When I was a child, my parents always did their presents after Christmas lunch (ie in the afternoon), anyway.
My DM said she was too rushed before dinner to enjoy it

I would let the younger ones open one or two presents that you know are good ones and they will be happy to play with until 12.