My ex has a new partner and she allows this?

[whatamigoingtodo789]

So me and my ex split up. We have 2 kids together a 10 year old boy and 6 year old girl.

The ex has a new partner, approx 6 months into the relationship now. Not quite moved in yet together but spending quite a few nights at the ex's house each week.

I have always been protective of my kids when travelling in mine or other peoples cars.

The nan (mum of the ex) is on quite a lot of medication. Takes around 20 tablets a day. Maybe more. Have always restricted their travelling with her to a 2 mile trip on a 30mph road where its down to a supermarket and the roads are not really busy. They use my car seats whilst they do travel in her vehicle.

Wherever possible I drive them to their destination if meeting up with school friends after having invites to parties etc.

The ex may have gone along with this while we were in a relationship just for my sake.

As it now turns out they now travel back and forth over a 30 mile journey each way to visit friends and family in their nans car. Nan driving with the ex and 2 kids in the car. With car seats.

The problem is the new partner of the ex, only has a 3 seater vehicle. Its like a car with 3 seats in the front and then van part in the rear. Not like a transit size vehicle. Like an estate car. Like a citroen dispatch - the smaller type.

The new partner has apparently picked up the kids from their school or taken them to school in the said vehicle WITH NO CAR SEATS. Yes the journey is less than a mile each way. But my kids are 10 and 6. The 10 year old is still under the minimum height.

I do not know if there is an airbag in the passenger side so that would be a concern as well. I believe kids are meant to be in the rear of vehicles when passenger airbag is active.

What happens if this becomes a regular thing and then they will be doing the 30 mile journey to family/friends next?

Do I say anything to the ex or am I being unreasonable?

If its unexpected journey or in a taxi, neither is the case here, so it is breaking the law.

I'm assuming because it's on days where he doesn't have custody and the ex is in charge of taking responsibility for their child.

I never used the word regularly, you did, I said if it happened more than once ? Which it has.

RTT @Tigger001
It doesn’t happen all the time & the law relates to cars and vans as well.
Don’t just read into the pieces of writing that suit your narrative.

Again, I never once said it did happen all the time, I have repeatedly said more than once is enough to get something in place for a childs safety. If you cant be arsed I wouldn't have my child in their car.

And I am certainly not only reading things that back myself up.

I am just a parent who would expect my ex and his new partner to put the safety of my child first.

Your link sauvignon shows Van's are the same as cars and it states they can travel in the back seat, these kids are in the front of a van.

Your ex needs to buy car seats, just because he doesn’t drive is irrelevant. He must buy them by law and because he should care for their safety. A 1 mile trip is also irrelevant- it’s a car hitting your car that’s the concern.
@whatamigoingtodo789 can you very calmly ask your ex to buy two car seats for HIS children and suggest that his partner may get reported by a nosey parent at the school (this does happen) if he doesn’t.

@Breastfeedingworries Good grief, what a strange thing to be "confused" about. I think @messolini9 has addressed your apparent concern very articulately below.

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1. The OP is a concerned parent. His or her sex make no difference to the concerns she or he are posting about.
2. Pint drinking & van ownership are activities available to both sexes.
3. The sexual orientation of anyone posting here is precisely none of our business.

We live about half a mile from dd's school. We drop her off at breakfast club in the car on our way to work. Not sure why people are shocked at dropping off in the car, not everyone has the time to walk to school and back, it would take valuable time out of the working day. At 7.45am, 15 minutes is a lot.

Not sure why people are shocked at dropping off in the car, not everyone has the time to walk to school and back, it would take valuable time out of the working day. At 7.45am, 15 minutes is a lot.

Exactly. And what about when it's pelting down with rain, which tends to happen frequently in this country?

Thanks, id just never not known before. I still don’t but I’m over it. Clouded confused mum brain. Sorry also accept it doesn’t matter anyway.

Car seats are a legal requirement which is based on weight aswell as height. If you had a stick thin Dd or ds who was tall enough they might not meet the weight requirement in order to not need a car seat.
Sweden and Germany have done a lot more testing than the uk. Infact in Sweden they promote rear facing car seats until the child is 7, as the car seat takes the brunt of the crash force.
It’s not yet British law for car seats be tested for roll, diagonal or side impact crashes. Therefore they are cheap ones on the market that do not meet those standards of testing. Buy britax, cybex.

Anyway the op should Show videos of crashes without car seats and go down a safety argument if no one is listening to their legal one.
Like I said also, a basic car seat that is legal, might not be the safest. A more expensive and tested car seat can mean the different between merely surviving with life changing injuries or making it through a crash without much of a scratch.

Good luck op and didn’t mean to offend.

Walking is all well and good when the parent is a sahp, but when they go out to work, a 30-40 mins walk before setting off to work really makes life difficult. The drop off may be in the way and even if in the opposite direction is still likely to be quicker.

My DC haven’t had a car seat since they were 6. They’re over the height limit but honestly the thought of a 10 year old in a car seat is hilarious.

Life changing injuries are really hilarious

Two of my friends have died in road accidents. How hilarious is that!

@Whattodoabout I'd suggest educating yourself on things before you comment.
Also, look up 'hilarious'

My DC haven’t had a car seat since they were 6
Fine if they were exceptionally tall, 135 cm is a 99th percentile for an almost-7 year old. OP has said her children are not that tall.

I recently rolled my car with my 7year in the car. We were a Mike from home, on a road I drive twice a day at least. We weren't going fast or driving any differently. My point is if you are taking your child in a moving vehicle, any distance be it end of the drive or other side of the country please please use the correct carseat for your child's height and weight ( nothing to do with age) and ALWAYS fasten the seatbelt and check it's secure and follow the guidelines regarding wearing coats etc. We came out of the car with not a scratch and I think thats all down to following the rules!

It's easy to be blaze about car safety if you haven't personally experienced an accident. People used to think it was fine for babies to sleep in their carry cot with no car seat and would find it ridiculous/hilarious to see a baby in a car seat. The fact that attitudes have now changed have saved hundreds of lives.

Absolutely unacceptable. I’m shocked how many people let their kids in the car without the appropriate car seat or sometimes even the seatbelt tucked under their arm pit!

Do you carry your car seats to the taxi?

We were in France last year and took a prebooked taxi, they provided carseats for us.